


Us And Them

by orphan_account



Series: Hey You, Out There On Your Own... [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Actually they kinda all are, Alternate Universe - Mechanics, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Azazel is pretty chill, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Because I can, Benny is a stoner, Breaking Of Pointless Rules, Cas and Dean are in denial, F/F, F/M, Gabe can sing, Gabe thinks he's such a hot ass, Hand Jobs, Homophobic John, Homophobic Language, I Don't Even Know, John Winchester Being an Asshole, Karaoke, M/M, Oh God Yes, Puppies, Sam and Ruby bromance, Sorry Not Sorry, Thus I Need No Other Reason, Unbeta'd, but when isn't he?, huskies are adorable, like always
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-04 04:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 43,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1765843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam owns a tattoo parlor with Ruby. Dean works at Bobby's Auto Body Shop next door. Gabe and Cas own the Pie Chart across the street.</p><p> </p><p>Previous title: Tattoos and Screwdrivers. Sorry guys, I lost a bet and I had to change it, okay. My bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One Thing To Get and Lube in the Shower.

It was his turn to open the parlor. He groaned at the consistent beep of the alarm clock and if he would wait another five minutes the radio would flip on and his sleep would be more thoroughly disturbed. Ignoring that, he pulled up the blue comforter over his head and closed his eyes. 

Before his alarm clock could do its intended job, his brother came in and stood at the foot of the bed. “Sammy! Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty! Your shop, your turn to open!” Dean yelled, ripping the covers off as he did. Sam groaned louder and pushed his head under the sea of pillows he slept with.

“I go inf late.” he mumbled, waving a hand at his brother. Dean went around to the side of the bed, grabbing the sheet Sam was laying on and pulling, hard. The sheet floated into Dean’s arms and Sam yelped, thudding onto the floor. He scrambled to his feet just as Dean took off downstairs toward the kitchen. He considered chasing him but sighed, grabbing his towel and headed to his shower. 

The water felt good on his back and he yawned into the spray of hot water, he searched blindly for the shampoo and found lube instead. “Ugh!” he dropped it and rubbed his hands together under the shower head. He was happy that his brother had found someone (even if Dean couldn‘t sum up the balls to tell the guy), really. But this was his shower, goddamit! He looked at the bottle on the floor of the tub and decided he wouldn’t be touching that again, leaving it there as he lathered shampoo into his hair.

He was toweling off when his brother yelled “Breakfast, Sammy!” he sighed and slipped into Power Rangers boxers and hissed slightly when the towel scrapped against the sensitive area of the new tattoo that wrapped around his thigh. He'd only just took away the Saran wrap from around it. It was old manuscript that looked like someone had rubbed away his skin and that was what they found. It was Canto XX of The Divine Comedy. He never understood why but he related to Dante. He opening the mirror cabinet and snatched the lotion, rubbing it thoroughly into his skin before heading down to the kitchen.

He hadn’t bothered to put on the rest of his clothes, not caring if Dean made fun of his boxers. The smell of waffles greeted him half way down the stairs and he cursed, he didn’t have time to sit down and eat, he had an appointment at 7:30 and it was- he looked at the watch clinging to his wrist-7:03. He turned around, running back to his room and grabbing khaki shorts and a purple wife-beater that certainly wasn’t his. His partner of the night before, obviously, hadn’t stuck around. He shrugged on the shirt, trying to jump into the khakis. Pulling back his hair into a pony tail, his bangs still fell back down but he brushed them behind his ears. He ran downstairs barefoot, looking around the kitchen for the coffee.

Dean sat at the counter watching him get a little more frantic when he couldn’t find it and he glared at Dean. “You didn’t get more, did you?” 

“Well, uh, see, it was like this-” he started. 

Sam shook his head and interrupted what was probably a rehearsed spiel. “You had one thing to get, Dean! I mean, what happened? Cas walk around naked?” Sam demanded then started a different search for his shoes, not noticing his brother’s spluttering and red face. He found his Vans by the couch and grabbed his messenger bag, shouting “And get your lube out of my shower!” as he closed the door on his way out. He heard “Sammy!” yelled from their apartment and he grinned, running to catch elevator and hopefully, some coffee before work.


	2. Do You Happen To Own A Lighter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah theyre probably all going to be short but oh well.

Sam stood in front of the _Little Pricks Tattoo Parlor_ and chewed on the inside of his cheek. He had time for coffee or a cigarette. Not both. He sighed. Maybe during his morning break he could get some coffee, he wasn’t about to deny himself the prominent addiction. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pack of Marlboro Reds. Looking into the pack, he grumbled. There was only one left and a short at the bottom. Which reminded him. He patted his pockets for his phone, finding it in the cargo pocket on his leg. He unlocked it and skimmed through his contacts till he found Chuck’s number. 

“Mmm ‘Lo” a tired voice answered and Sam smiled softly. 

“You going to be at Crowley’s tonight?” he asked 

“Wait a minute.”- The sound of a body falling out of bed then a groan and drawers opening “-Yeah, how much do you think I should bring? ‘Cause Becky took like half my stash and flushed it, the bitch. No, I’m just gunna bring two baggies and if that’s not enough-I don’t know.” Chuck sounded more hung over than normal and Sam resisted the urge to yell into the phone, Dean was really a horrible influence on him.

“That sounds about right. And if she’s a bitch why are you still with her? But, yeah, no, Cas and the guy he’s bringing and you and me and Benny-Oh, you know. We’ll get by. Hey, man, take two Tylenol and go back to sleep. You even sound like shit.” Sam answered, rolling the unlit cigarette between his finger and thumb, not paying attention to the two men walking toward him.

“Well, thank you, Sunshine. Didn’t know you cared.” a beep from the phone alerted Sam that Chuck ended the call. He snorted and shoved his phone back into his pocket, retrieving a lighter instead, he flipped it open and flicked it a couple times but the flame wouldn’t appear. He growled and tried again just as he bumped into one of the two guys. 

“Oh, dude, my bad.” 

“Watch where you’re going, eh, Gigantor?” he was short, had golden blonde slicked back hair and he had tattoos and Sam suddenly felt like a teenage girl with a crush and he didn’t even know the guy’s name.

“Anything you say, Fun size” Sam retorted, not even hiding his appraisal of the body in front of him

The stranger arched an eyebrow “See something you like?” 

“No. I mean yes! I mean- Do you have a light?” he asked, feeling his face flush. The only tattoo he could see was the tip of what Sam guessed were wings, hugging the other man’s neck. The man smirked “I think so.” he reached into his jeans pocket, pulling out a Bic and handed it to Sam. Their fingers brushed and Sam licked his lips, unconsciously. 

Sam glanced at the other guy “Oh, hey Cas.” he mumbled around the cigarette in his mouth, he lit it then handed the lighter back to- ”I’m Sam, by the way.” he said to the man, now staring at him.

“Gabriel.” the man returned.

“Hello, Sam.” Cas said but was staring at Gabriel with a funny look on his face.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you at Crowley’s tonight.” Sam said, winking at Gabriel and nodding to Cas as the pair walked across the street. 

He could feel a pair of eyes on him as he turned to face to the parlor. He looked at the sign and he sighed, contentedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh. . . heh. . ."Little Pricks"


	3. High School Notes

He and Ruby had opened up shop about a year ago next month, it was her idea to name it “Little Pricks” and he hadn’t objected. It certainly fitted. He fished into his pocket for the keys, pulling them out by a key chain of a moose Crowley had given him. He rolled his eyes at the memory and slid the key into the allotted slot, turning it. Flicking the dead bud away, he walked in the parlor. Setting his crumpled cigarette pack on the counter, throwing his bag behind the same counter and flipping on the lights. 

He walked over to his station and plugged in his tattoo gun then grabbed the disinfectant wipes and cleaned his hands before pulling on some latex gloves. He turned on the stereo, “Perfect Strangers” by Deep Purple filled the empty parlor and Sam mouthed the lyrics along. His mind drifting back to Gabriel. He wondered.

Ruby made one hell of a weird mix tape. He looked at his watch again; the green numbers glowing 7:28. He smiled, he wasn’t late. He leaned against the counter in the front of the store, reviewing an old album of tattoos he had done.

The bell alerted Sam to the person who had just walked in, Bela. “Well, I’ll be damned. I thought for sure you’d be late.” she pouted “Now I owe Ruby ten bucks.” she sighed, Sam resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It was annoying how many people were obsessed with each other but couldn’t find it in themselves to tell the other person. It was to the point Sam had considered playing match maker but he didn’t want to be on the receiving end if they figured out it was him.

“Yeah, whatever. Take off your pants and go sit down, Bela.” he answered, putting down the reference book by the chairs where it was before he had picked it up.

She arched an eyebrow at him. “You like giving orders, Sam?” she asked, shimmying out of the skinny jeans she had on. Again, Gabriel was at the forefront of his thoughts.

“I guess you’ll never know.” he said, walking to his gun, starting to work the pump before she even sat down. She laid down, her back facing Sam. He leaned down to finish the exaggerated cursive word ‘Floyd‘, singing lightly with “Walk this Way“. He had finished ’Pink’ on the other thigh during her last visit and had started ’Floyd’ but she had a doctor’s appointment so he couldn’t finish. The reason Ruby couldn’t (wouldn’t) do it was because it was right under Bela’s ass and Ruby had practically begged Sam to do it for her. The bell rang again but Sam didn’t hear it, being right next to the stereo and the soft humming whir of his gun. Instead, he started singing a little louder. He had known Bela for years so she knew he was prone to randomly sing. 

“So I took a big chance at the high school dance with a missy who was ready to play wasn’t me she was foolin’ cause she knew what she was doin’ and I knowed love was here to stay when she told me to WALK THIS WAY! ” He had to stop inking because Bela had started laughing and he with her.

“Honestly, Sam, be glad I know you. I think you would scare the non-regulars away with your fanatic singing.” she joked

“Oh,c'mon, cher. I don’t think he was that bad.” a voice answered. He and Bela jumped and Sam laughed, turning around. There wasn't many who said cher, he grinned.

“Thanks Benny.” he acknowledged. It only took about twenty minutes to finish and he handed the small prescription bottle of lotion to Bela “Twice a day, like before.” he instructed while Bela rolled her eyes and snatched the bottle from Sam “I know, Mum!” she mocked , pulling on her jeans. She and Sam walked to the front of the parlor.

Bela paid Sam and waved as she walked out the door “See you tonight at Crowley’s, right?” she called.

He nodded and Benny answered “Yeah. See you then."

As soon as she was out of sight, Ruby came in “She’s gone. Oh, thank Hera!” Ruby panted, as if she had been running.

Sam sighed “I feel like I’m in high school, here. Maybe you guys should pass notes through your friends. You know, what was that one you gave your ex from junior high? Do you want to go out? Circle yes or no. “ he said laughing “You’re worse then Cas and Dean,and I have to say I didn’t think that could be possible! It‘s not like you‘re not going to see her tonight.” he exclaimed. 

Ruby glared, shoving her bag at Sam and storming off to the back room. “High school!” he shouted after her.

“Fuck off, Sam!” she yelled back.

Sam smiled then turned to Benny. “What does Dean think I did now?”

Benny shook his head. "Not here because of him. My dog had pups. And they're ready to leave her." he said, his face already smug. Benny's dog , Noir, was a beautiful husky and Sam knew her puppies would be adorable.

"You're a bastard. Dean will kill me." Sam mumbled looking unsure then grabbing his phone. "C'mon."


	4. She Was Fluffy And Cute, Of Course I Got Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY PUPPIES

Sam rode with Benny to his house a little ways out of town. It wasn’t till they pulled in the drive way Sam finally spoke, excitement evidence in his voice “Has anybody else seen them?”

Benny nodded “Just two others. Took the first born home too. Uh, the bartender-what‘s his name? Balthazar. And a short guy. They live with Cas…” he said, walking toward an old barn, besides Noir he kept a few horses. He had moved to Lawrence about a year ago, worked with Dean in the shop but he didn’t really need to. “They’re in the last stall.” he pointed toward the back of the barn and Sam nodded, walking the short distance. He could hear the whimpers and small barks. Sam groaned a little. 

Yup, Dean was going to kill him.

Sam looked into the stall and five puppies started howling. Sam climbed into the stall, opening it would just let them out and there was no way he was chasing puppies around a farm at 8:32 in the morning. As soon as his feet hit the hay, he was swarmed by the litter. When he tried to go around them, he ended up tripping and in 0.1 seconds he was covered with licks and curious bites that couldn’t hurt. There were at least two puppies on his stomach and ribs, digging their paws into his sensitive skin and he laughed at the ticklish feeling. He grinned when a smaller puppy tried biting at the posts in his ear. He grabbed it and held it up to his face. It barked then licked his nose and he grinned.

It was completely white but there was black speckles on its ears and tail. And it was about two times smaller than the other pups. It was the runt. He raised his eyebrows and looked back down at the squirming ball of slobber and fluff. “Hey.” he said, firmly, it stopped and looked up. Big blue eyes questioned Sam’s hazel ones, waiting. As soon as Sam sighed it yipped again and tried to naw on Sam’s nose. He grinned and stood up, the other pups racing over to see where he was going. Sam put one leg over the stall then the other and listened as the runt howled at its brothers and sister but as soon as Sam scratched its head, it quieted down and let Sam carry-her.

When Benny saw him, he laughed. “I knew you going to pick her. Feisty, isn’t she?” Sam grinned and nodded as the pup wiggled in his arm. “We can stop at the Pet Smart if you want.” Benny offered Sam looked at his watch, the puppy attempting to lick at his face. 

“Yeah, sounds good. Charlie’s supposed to come in today, so I should be fine.” he said as they got back in the truck, the runt staying in Sam’s lap without any encouragement. 

It took about ten minutes to get to the Pet Smart and the pup was already asleep so Sam continued to carry her throughout the store. They got some puppy chow and a brown leather collar. They paused by a dog tag machine and Benny raised an eyebrow “Do you have an idea yet?” he asked and Sam smiled, the song “Dead or Alive” by Bon Jovi played in the background.

“Yeah, I do.” he answered typing in “Jovi” and his address; the machine whirred to life creating the tag.

As they walked to the cash register Sam couldn’t help but say it one more time. “Dean is going to kill me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I know! It's short but its so much fluff so leave me alone.


	5. And You Thought Your Family Was Bad

Gabriel was talking with Cas about the AC in their house when he had almost run into the sexy stranger. When he saw him wave at Cas he knew he was going to interrogate his brother, after he stopped staring at the guy’s ass, that is. He (the stranger) was like a tattooed Adonis. “Hey, Cas? Who was that?” he asked, not even looking at his brother.

“Dean Winchester’s younger brother, Sam.” he heard Cas’ gravelly voice say.

He snorted “Younger?”

“Why is his age humorous?” his brother asked and Gabe sighed. 

“God, Harvard ruined you. His age isn’t but his -Oh, never mind, it isn’t funny if you have to explain it.” he muttered, entering The Pie Chart. Garth, the kid they hired to work the register, smiled at him and he couldn’t help but smile back at the scrawny kid before going upstairs to the office Cas insisted they have. He opened the glass door and screwed up his facial features, he didn’t like it. It made him feel old. He was only 27! ~~Sorta.~~ He didn’t want to work in an office. He sat down in one of the office chairs and spinned it around. Cas came up a few seconds later and Gabe stuck out his tongue at his younger brother.

Cas raised an eyebrow “What have I done now?” he asked, expectantly. 

“You made me old!” Gabe said, from the spinning chair and Cas felt he didn’t have to answer that insult. 

“Well, I don’t need you in the office right now so you can go take care of the puppy. I still don‘t get why you and Balthazar needed him.” he replied, sitting down to do paperwork and watched as Gabe bounced out of the chair, toward the door. “Oh, and Gabe?”- Gabriel whipped around-”don’t buy any more sweets.” he said, not looking up from his papers. 

Gabe scowled “I didn’t plan on it. Why?” he questioned.

“Because I said so.” 

“I think enough of us have tried to play Dad, Cas. Don’t try.” he said, serious for once, looking at Cas. His younger brother looked up from the papers, a special kind of sadness in the ocean of his eyes before it turned into the blue calm.

“You know why. When the doctor warned you about diabetes, he wasn‘t kidding. I don‘t like worrying about you.” he said then turned back to his papers. 

Gabe smiled softly “Yes, but you _do_ worry about me.” then took off down the stairs.

He exited the store, looking for Sam in the windows of _Little Pricks_ but couldn’t find him, he tried not to pout. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he headed to the house they were renting a couple blocks over. Balthazar didn’t work today so he was still in bed and the ginger and white puppy had been asleep on Gabe’s bed when Cas had asked him to walk with him to work.

He thought about all the tattoos Sam had on his way home. Right under his neck was a detailed golden eagle, wings splayed up across his neck and dipping down under the t-shirt he had on. His whole right arm was covered in a henna kind-of design, but it was clearly permanent. His left hand was a bright red rose and the thorns circled his wrist and fingers. His left bicep was- Gabe smiled- the Ghost Busters symbol. He’d love to know the story behind that. His piercings were also choicely placed. One in his eyebrow and the smallest gauge size in his ears. Both were green in color. Gabe rolled his shoulders back. God, the man was hot. 

Gabe shook his head, walking up the steps to his house and opening the door. “Honey, I’m home! Did you miss me?” he yelled downstairs. Balthazar had claimed the basement as his, Cas was ground level and Gabe had the upstairs.

“Do me a favor and piss off.” he heard the muffled reply.

“Yeah, love you too, bro! Hey! I want my shirt back!” he yelled, remembering his Kit-Kat shirt was down in the dungeon, as he liked to call it. The puppy had heard him and was running down the stairs barking at Gabe’s voice. Gabriel groaned, they needed a name for him. “Bal, get up here and help me name the dog!” he said, scratching the puppy behind the ears.

“Why can’t you name it?” came the answering groan. Gabe rolled his eyes then smirked.

“How about ‘Titanic‘? Oh, I know. Dion. ” and then there was the sound of Balthazar running up the stairs.

He glared at Gabe, looking like he should've stayed in bed six more hours. “You bastard. You did that on purpose.” he grumbled.

Gabe looked to the side then back at Bal “Uh, Yeah. Yeah, I did.” he said nodding. Getting up, he walked into the living room and turned on _Lost_. Balthazar followed sitting next to him on the couch and the puppy climbed up in between their legs.

“Why are we in glorious suburbia watching a show that ends worse than E.T.?” Bal asked, turning up the volume. 

Gabe shrugged “Oh, well, let's see if I can remember. Dad left and Michael thought he could play the role, Luci threw a tantrum, then Raphael tried being Daddy and that shit sure as hell didn’t fly. Anna was put in that asylum in Turkey. Uh, I ran away to India , had an affair, left for Australia because I didn’t want to live in WW3 and after two months of being down under Cas totally rebelled, like arrest warrants and shit. Then you got sentenced and I had to fly up to Dusseldorf and bail your asses out. Uh, I told the family to screw themselves and Metatron cried ’cause he didn’t get enough hugs as a child and Gadreel just fucked some things up at the Reunion in Geneva. In the end, I offered you two a house and a job, you and Cas moved to freaking Kansas. But you declared you were a strong independent Balthazar who don‘t need no man -or woman for that matter -and got a job at Crowley‘s. Our young brother is completely smitten with the mechanic next door which he is utterly confused by.” he smiled, after he finished counting, using his fingers for some of the main points “Oh, and we aren’t allowed any where near the border of Switzerland. But that one is totally on Cas and Uriel.” he paused then glanced at Balthazar for assurance.

Bal only offered “We are, easily, the most fucked up people I’ve ever met. And I think as a bartender, that‘s quite saying something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will never speak of Geneva. Actually I probably will when they get drunk together or something.


	6. Character Appraisal and Popcorn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay if you haven't seen _Lost_ you might get a little confused ~~or, you know, _lost_~~ during this bit but I won't apologize. There will be references throughout the fic 'cause I can.

The puppy yipped then got up from the couch and pawed at the back door, they only had him about a week but Bal had some pretty good dog skills apparently, the puppy mostly housebroken already. Gabe got up and opened it then turned back to Bal “And that’s why we’re in Kansas, kiddo. Hey, that could be his name! It‘s also the name of a pretty sick band.” Gabe grinned. 

Bal shrugged “Sure, whatever.”

Gabe left the door open and returned to the couch and season one of _Lost_. 

“I still think Sun is a badass. Along with the bald guy. I mean, I know he's a complete psycho but he's still a badass.” Gabriel stated as he sat down. 

“The bald guy, yes. But Jack is a bad stereotypical daddy issues doctor. Kinda like you.” Bal said, Gabe glared at him. 

“I never finished medical school so I’m not a doctor. And I’m certainly not the only one with issues. I think I just proved that.” the older brother got up and wandered into the kitchen to make popcorn. 

“Get me a Coke!” Bal shouted

Gabe rolled his eyes “We only have Pepsi, asshat, you know that.” he said to the fridge.

“I heard that.” 

“Would the convict like an award for that accomplishment?”

“Fuck you.”

“I’d much rather have the younger Winchester do that.” Gabe smirked, as the microwave beeped twice with the finished popcorn. He grabbed the hot bag and a can of Pepsi from the fridge, taking it back into the living room. Pointedly sitting at the other end of the couch, he opened the Pepsi and took a big gulp.

Balthazar sneered “I’d rather not think of anything pertaining to _that_ if you‘re involved.”

Gabe chuckled “Whatever you say, little bro.”

“There is one thing I do agree with you about.” Bal said

“Mm? What’s that?” Gabe asked, opening the popcorn

“Sun is a badass.” Bal glanced at his brother then returned his gaze to the screen 

“Damn straight.” Gabriel grinned.

After the last disc the brothers shared twin looks of utter disbelief and amusement. “So, a pissed off giraffe killed those people and not to mention the numbers.” Gabe joked.

“The numbers were definitely my favorite part, after the polar bears, that is.” Bal answered

“Ah, yes, polar bears. And Shannon. Shannon is a completely bitch.”

“Oh, God, yes.”

“Boone was easily the finest piece of ass.” Gabriel noted

“Probably why they killed him off.” Bal complained “Hm, but I give Sawyer an eight. Although with the glasses _on_ he's scores a nine.” he added

“Oo, good choice.” Gabe agreed

“Yes, I’d like to think so. “

Kansas had come in on the second to last episode and fell asleep on Gabe’s lap. But the current voices woke him up with a yawn and licks for both Gabriel and Balthazar then he wandered off to explore the house. After watching the puppy leave the room, Gabe turned back to his brother.

“Did it seem to you Boone was the bald guy‘s-what’s his name- Locke! Boone was totally Locke’s bitch.” 

“That was obvious.” Bal snorted

“What about the French Chick?” Gabriel asked

“She could use some civilization but other than that she was… “ Bal trailed off.

“I think ‘scary’ is the word you’re looking for.” Gabriel offered

“That’s it! That’s the word.” Bal exclaimed "One more thing. I agree with Hurley." he announced.

Gabe arched an eyebrow "Oh,yeah? What about?"

"Leslie is a bitchin' name" Bal grinned. 

“I also agree. We should be T.V. critics.” Gabriel stated, ridiculously serious.

“I second the motion.”

A yip from upstairs resounded through the house “Motion granted. Meeting adjourned” Gabe finished, getting up. "And Cas says all we do is fight." the elder brother teased.

“You better be putting in the second bloody season.” Bal threatened from the couch.

Gabriel turned half way around and raised his eyebrows “Unless you have a better idea, Charlie.” 

Bal narrowed his eyes “If I’m Charlie, you _are_ Jack.”

Gabe pushed the disc into the Playstation 3 and sat back down. “So, a heroin junkie and a medical school reject watching the second season of _Lost_ on our day off. And we’re the _normal_ ones.” Gabriel said, shaking his head and pushing ’Play’.“Says a lot about us.”


	7. Dating Advice

They had reached the end of the first disc by the time Cas came home. After Kansas confirmed the younger brother wasn’t a threat he returned to the middle of the couch. “He takes up more room then you do.” Cas heard Balthazar pout.

“Well, then let him sit on you, Charlie.” Gabriel replied walking from the player, Cas walked in and looked at the two over grown children who professed to be his elders. 

“Who is Charlie?” he asked and Balthazar jumped.

“Jesus, Cas, make noise much” he grumbled.

But Gabe answered the question as he sat down “Charlie is a heroin addict of a rock star on the show.” and suddenly, Castiel was right in Balthazar’s personal space.

“Are you taking drugs again?” he asked and Balthazar leaned back away from his face.

“First, You need to learn the concept of personal space. And second, no. I haven’t, fuck you very much.” Cas stared suspiciously then turned his gaze to the screen. The puppy yipped then moved onto Balthazar, licking his face before collapsing onto Balthazar. He grumbled but both Cas and Gabriel watched as he scratched Kansas, unconsciously. 

Cas sat down where the puppy had been. “Okay, if you’re sitting here you’re taking off the damn trench coat.” Gabriel grumbled and his brother reluctantly obliged. After they had all stopped moving and were semi-comfortable, Kansas whined then sprawled out on the three of them. 

Cas peered at the screen before asking “So, they opened the hatch even though the large man warned them of the numbers?”

And Bal chuckled and Gabriel rolled his eyes “Yes.”

“But… the word ’Quarantine’ was on the inside.” the younger objected

“Yeah, and Dean likes you too but neither of you will do anything about it.” Gabe said, around a mouthful of popcorn.

Cas looked more confused and Bal came to the rescue. “What he’s saying is they ignored that bit and still messed around with it. Or in your case, they _should_ mess around with it.”

Cas’ brows furrowed “I don’t understand.”

“How come he gets a catch phrase?” Bal complained and Gabriel snorted

“We should get ready.” Cas stated, ignoring the comment and trying to forget about Dean.

“I’d rather not and say we did.” Bal mumbled

“Yeah, c’mon, there’s like three more episodes on this disc.” Gabe added

“We own all the seasons. You can watch them tomorrow.” Cas said, prodding Kansas to move so he could stand.

“We _work_ tomorrow.” it was Gabe’s turn to mumble.

“I thought you wanted to know about Sam.”

“Oh, that’s playing dirty. You just don’t want to be alone with Dean, Odin knows why.” Gabe looked scandalized as he stood and Bal looked unimpressed. Cas shifted from foot to foot, trying to come up with a reason Bal had to go.

Whereas Bal looks changed to smug “I can’t be bribed by sexual situations.”

“I am aware. The bottle of ’42 Claret in my room.” he said, he was a little upset but it was just wine. Okay, maybe a lot upset.

“Deal.” Bal answered, faster than Gabriel, standing up. 

“Why is it so important that we both go?” Gabriel asked from the stairs.

“No reason.” he muttered and both Gabe and Bal stopped to look at him

“Very convincing.” Gabe said, crossing his arms.

“Would Odysseus like to try again?” Bal asked leaning against the door frame.

Cas swallowed, he didn’t want to tell them. He didn’t like being teased. But he didn’t know how to do this normally. “I want to ask Dean out.” he said, under his breath.

Gabe raised his eyebrows and grinned at Bal “I’m sorry. Could you repeat that? Just for the record?”

“Don’t be an ass.” Cas scowled and Bal sniggered. 

“Why exactly do you need us for _that_ ” he asked.

Gabe rolled his eyes “I swear to god, Bal, if you refer to sex as _that_ one more time, I’ll slug you. And he wasn‘t referring to -oh, god, now you got me saying it.” he groaned, pushing a hand through his hair in frustration.

Cas rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know how to… ask him out.”

“You just asked a whore and a recovering junkie for dating advice. Think about that for a minute and then get back to me.” Bal said and Gabe hit the back of his head.

“I’m not a whore.” Bal raised an eyebrow and waited “Any longer.” Gabriel muttered 

“There it is.”

“This is irrelevant. I require assistance.”

“Is it wrong that my mind just went-” Gabe started but Bal held up a hand to cut Gabriel off.

“If I say yes, will you promise not to finish that sentence?” he asked looking at the older brother who grinned at him.

“Anything for you, kiddo.” 

“Excellent. Get dressed.” Cas said, looking less upset about the wine.

“I’m going to start calling you Hal.” Gabriel said then turned to go upstairs; Kansas got up from the couch and started trailing him.

Cas sent a questioning look to Balthazar “It’s a movie. Well, sort of. It’s not that bad of a nickname. Don’t worry.” he offered before trudging down the basement steps, muttering about going to his work on his day off.


	8. So Much For Happy Endings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title's just a thingy. It's gunna be a fucking happy ending with lots of fluff and sugar to rot your teeth.

Sam poked his head in the apartment door and scanned for signs of Dean. Jovi was struggling in his arms to be put down so she could explore this strange new land he had taken her to. Seeing no one, Sam pushed the door open a little further, it creaked in a faked protest. Sam searched the room for signs of life before letting out a semi-relieved sigh. He let Jovi scrabble out of his arms onto the carpet; she immediately sniffed out Dean who sat in the kitchen. His older brother certainly didn’t make any girl like noises when she bumped her cold nose against his feet. 

“Sam!” 

Sam cringed. “I just- we are keeping her.” he said, aloud to no one in particular. Dean walked into the living room with Jovi following him, wagging her tail at her new surroundings. Sam watched as Dean made his what-the-hell-do-you-think-your-doing-now face then his older brother glanced at the white ball of fluff at his feet and Jovi cocked her head much like Cas does. Sam stifled at snigger when his brother’s face softened and he reached down to pet Jovi. She curiously sniffed at his fingers before letting him pet her. Dean looked surprised and Sam looked smug. “She likes me?” Dean asked, incredulously. 

“Apparently. Well, there’s a first for everything.” Sam smiled but Dean had his serious mask on again and Sam's stomach dropped.

“It’s not like you have to pay for anything, Dean. I’ll be taking care of her.” he started to protest but Dean shook his head “You can keep the dog, Sammy. It’s not about that.”

“Then what is it?” he asked, his stomach sinking deeper by the moment.

“It’s Dad. He’s coming. Here.” Dean was grimacing and Sam wanted to puke. John didn’t _approve_ of Sam or his lifestyle and to be honest Sam couldn’t care less. But Dean cared. A lot. 

John would _not_ approve of Dean’s obvious crush on Cas.

Sams hands curled into unconscious fists and his tongue ran over his teeth. “He’s not staying here. Dean-”

But his brother cut him off with “It’s fine, Sammy.” 

“Dude, no it’s not. Cas is awesome. Screw what Dad thinks. All he does is come into our life every five years and frown. He doesn’t want sons. He wanted soldiers.”

“Don’t say that.” Dean mumbled and Sam couldn’t curb the dormant anger that was suddenly right there.

“Why?! You know it’s true. You know better than anyone, Dean!”

“Shut up, Sam!” Dean yelled then grabbed his coat and slammed the door as he left.

Sam rubbed the palm of his hands into his eyes then sighed looking at Jovi, she whined and put a very small paw onto his shoe. “Yeah.” he mumbled, flopping onto the couch.

And the day had been so _good_ up till now. He felt the sudden itch of being alone and he hated that it was _so_ damn familiar. He reached up and grabbed the stereo remote from the glass coffee table and pressed the power button. Nirvana filled the room and he leaned his head back until he was staring at the ceiling. It took Jovi three tries to get up on the couch and crawl into Sam's lap. As soon as she had turned around a couple times she laid down, Sam smiled because he could barely feel her there. He petted her soft head until she fell asleep again.

After three songs, Sam shut off the stereo and turned on the T.V., texting Charlie that he was done for the day and he would see her at Crowley’s. He didn’t want to have another argument with Ruby about his father. He had only watched one episode of _Law and Order_ before Dean came back and sat down next to him, rousing Jovi in the process, she sniffed Dean before curling back up into a tiny ball and both brothers smiled.

“So.” Sam tried, failing spectacularly.

“Yeah.” was Dean’s even more spectacular answer.

“It’ll be fine, Sammy.” he said, staring at the floor

Sam swallowed and his stomach repositioned itself to his chest and his heart went to his throat. Sam couldn’t block the doubt that statement gave him but he tried pushing everything back into its proper place anyway.

“Yeah, Dean, I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John just pisses me off.


	9. Well, We Never Claimed To Be Happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to but I did.

They didn’t speak again till the commercials came on again. Sam shifted Jovi to Dean’s lap and hid the amusement in his eyes when Jovi merely huffed in her sleep and snuggled closer to Dean’s abdomen. “I’m gunna go get some cigarettes.” he said and didn’t wait for an answer as he walked out of the apartment. 

He did need cigarettes but after that he was going to talk to …someone. Probably Bobby. Yeah, Bobby would help. If all he did was give Sam a beer and told him to calm the fuck down it would help.

It really was a beautiful day. 

The breeze sifted through him, ruffling his bangs and making him let out a stressful sigh. The air was scented with sweets from the nearby bakery and Sam smiled when he thought of his close encounter with the man with golden eyes. 

He came up on the liquor store and slipped inside. Scanning the multiple choices of alcohol, he walked to up to the cashier and asked for Marlboro Reds. She nodded and reached up, taking down a single pack and traded Sam the pack for a ten dollar bill. “Keep the change.” he muttered and walked out of the store back into the soft breeze and pleasant thoughts.

It was about a mile to Bobby’s but he could use the walk. His mind kept sneaking back to the image of a smirk and golden blonde hair. Gabriel had been in long sleeves so Sam couldn’t see if he had tattoos there but the wings he had seen were very good quality ink. There had been three triangles intertwined on the inside of his wrist, Sam had caught a glimpse when Gabriel handed him the lighter. Sam was almost positive it was related to Norse Mythology but he couldn’t remember. Sam could understand the slight obsession of mythology. After all, he had an ankh on his ankle. 

He smiled. 

That had been his first tattoo and he remembered being fascinated by the drawings that had covered the shop’s wall and how they had been so much better than his own. But accidentally, that brought him back to his father basically forcing him into Stanford and Jess. 

Jess had been his best friend; she was the first person he told. And she had grinned and said “I knew before you did, Sam.” and that was the best reaction he got. John had simply ignored his statements and Dean kept asking him if he was sure. After a bad night of John’s pushing, Jess came to him with the idea of a pretend relationship and he had refused. But she talked him into it for the soul purpose of averting John’s near harassment. 

Jess had moved to Europe after their second year and Sam talked to her every Friday. He had dropped out soon after and became an apprentice for a guy nicknamed Yellow Eyes because of the strange colored contacts he always wore. The guy was a complete bastard but the man could draw.

He looked up at Bobby’s house and trudged up the wooden stairs, stepping over the broken one. Before he could raise a hand to knock Crowley opened the door. He rose an eyebrow at Sam, “And here I thought you could knock on a door properly, Moose“ he quipped but when Sam made no attempt to jib back his brows furrowed “You alright, there?”

“I don’t know.” Sam answered honestly.

Crowley moved sideways and Sam bypassed him, walking into the kitchen and sitting down at the table. 

Bobby looked at him for a moment from the sink before opening the fridge and setting a beer in front of him “John or Dean?” he asked. Sam ran a hand down his face then through his hair. “Both.” he mumbled, taking out his keys and using the bottle opener on the bottle in front of him. He chugged half of it his first go and Crowley shared a look with Bobby.

“So, get this. John is coming and Dean is _not_ going to ask Cas out tonight because of that. It took me three fucking weeks of busting his balls for him to get up the courage to do that and now ‘cause John is a little pussy who can’t stand some guy on guy action Dean is going to fucking blow it. And if I try flirting with some guy I met this morning Dean will throw a bitch fit and I won’t get any either.” his voice switching into the bubbling anger beneath. 

“Calm your tits, Samantha.” Crowley advised and got a glare for his efforts.

Sam sighed. “That’s-I know. Okay. So, I’m kinda acting like a bitch but c’mon! They have been eye-fucking since Cas moved here. I mean, have you ever been in a room when that happens? Voyeurism isn’t exactly my shot of whiskey.” he snapped. 

Bobby choked on his coffee “Thanks for the image.” he muttered.

“Exactly how I feel.” Sam growled back.

Crowley rolled his eyes, John caused problems with _everyone_. Not just his sons. “I don’t understand why he has deemed sinful Sodom a nice place to drop by every five years. All he does is tell everyone they’re going to hell and make his children feel like shit.” he stated, looking at a speck of dirt on the linoleum floor.

Sam groaned into his hands. “Adam and Samandriel. Oh, shit.”

Well, _fuck_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C'mon everyone forgets Adam.


	10. One For The Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shamelessly using Sherlock quote :) you'll know it when you see it.

Sam scrolled through his contacts looking for his little brother’s number.

Adam and Samandriel had gotten married three years ago at the court house the day after it was made legal. Dean and Sam had been the witnesses. They lived on the other side of town, Adam drove to Topeka every day for his job and Samandriel was a museum curator. Even though Adam was from John’s second marriage Sam had easily accepted him as his younger brother, it had taken awhile for Dean to warm up but he did eventually. 

Adam mirrored Sam’s feelings for their father. 

Needless to say, but John wasn’t just going to let this go.

It was basically everyone’s day off so Sam was sure they would be home. He reached the contact and hit the green phone in the corner. After the third ring Adam picked up.

“Not a good time.” Adam mumbled into the phone and Sam ignored the whimper he heard in the background. 

“No, it isn’t. John’s coming.” Sam answered, looking at the sweating bottle in front of him and shaking his head. This was some bull shit. It had gone quiet on the other end and Sam prayed he wouldn’t hear anything- “When?” his younger brother asked, quietly.

“Tonight sometime. I can stall him but I don’t for how long. Adam, maybe you guys should just spend a couple nights in Topeka.” Sam shot a glance at Bobby and Crowley who were standing next to each other sharing looks of worry.

“I’m not running from the bastard if that’s what you’re suggesting.” Adam said voice stronger.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Sam explained.

“I-I know. Just…” Adam paused and Sam waited “Just stall him for as long as you can.”

“Okay.” Sam agreed then hung up the call.

“I finally learned the definition of bittersweet.” Sam mumbled to himself then cleared his throat “Anyway, none of this derails the fact that I still have to be at the bar in an hour. With Dean.” he said, turning his head so his neck would crack. It didn’t make the relieving snap and Sam scowled, downing the rest of the beer.

“Thanks, Bobby.” he said, walking to the door and nodding at Crowley.

“So, you guys are getting high the night John is supposed to arrive.” Crowley asked, a smile ghosting his lips.

“Yup. That or I’ll try to kill him. I think everyone would prefer the latter,” Sam shrugged “Will you guys be there?”

“'Course, we will.” Bobby answered and Sam offered a weak smile before leaving. 

On his way back to the apartment he started humming “It’s My Life” under his breath.

By the time he was in front of the third story apartment it had changed to “Bad Medicine”, when he opened the door, Jovi was immediately on her hind feet sniffing at his jean pocket, Sam grinned and swept her up easily. “That’s what you get for fallin’ in love!” he crooned, scratching her belly. She wiggled around, lapping at Sam’s nose.

But Dean had his arms crossed and was watching Sam much like a mother hen and Sam resisted snorting at the thought.

“What’s the look for?” Sam asked, letting Jovi down.

“You always sing when something bothers you. And if it’s really bad you go through Bon Jovi on shuffle from your iPod.” he said, Jovi didn’t go anywhere, electing to stay right next to Sam’s feet. 

Sam’s brows furrowed “I don’t sing just ‘cause I’m upset.”

“Yeah, bro, you do. There are only three songs you sing if you’re not upset.”

Sam brushed him off “Whatever. Nothing’s wrong.”

Dean just glared.

“Fine! I called Adam and Samandriel, okay?! We- _I_ have to stall Dad for as long as I can tonight.” he growled, stalking past Dean to head out onto the veranda.

It was small. Two people could fit out there but not a chair and neither of the brothers were much of a gardener, so no plants either. Sam used it to smoke.

He stepped onto the small platform and opened the pack he had just bought. He flicked the lighter for a full two minutes before he started cussing at the innocent object. He only got angrier when it wouldn’t light and he started blaming the lighter for his father. For his brother. For being alone. Still alone. As soon as he acknowledged that thought he chucked the lighter as far as he could. It landed in the parking lot by an old red firebird. 

He turned around to go back inside but Dean stood there watching him with a worried look in his eyes. He handed Sam a full lighter and Sam took it, not meeting his older brother’s eyes. He took a cigarette out of the pack and lit it, pocketing the lighter. He leaned against the small railing and sighed before taking a deep drag.

“So, uh….is that what you do when life gets ya down? Take it out on innocent lighters across the world?” Dean asked, coming to stand beside him

Sam glanced at him from his peripheral vision before smiling. “The lighter had it coming.”

“Why does that sound familiar?” Dean asked and Sam shook his head, biting his cheek to stop his answer.

“Musta heard it off the lighter uprising pamphlet.” Sam said instead, flicking ash off and watching it float to the concrete below.

“C’mon. We should get ready.” Dean said turning but Sam put a hand on his shoulder.

“You…” he sighed “You need to talk to Castiel, Dean. I mean that. Don’t let Dad take this from you.”

Dean wouldn’t meet his eyes and Sam released his shoulder, stealing another inhale of nicotine. “I’m going just finish this first, okay?” he muttered, turning back to the railing.

“Yeah, okay, Sammy.” Dean answered and went back inside.

Sam wondered what Dean was answering.


	11. Two For The Lovers

Sam shrugged on a black old t-shirt, the one with the oxymoron grey letters “Peace Warrior” written on the chest and pulled on his favorite torn jeans. He looked in the mirror and sighed but smiled slightly. 

Things would work out.

He had showered again and after much argument with his conscious, he decided to leave his hair down.

Tonight was going to be great.

But as both brothers came out of their rooms, simultaneously, they both groaned and Dean supplied the problem “ _Karaoke._ ”

They both had their own allotted songs. Sam grinned at the thought of Dean’s. It had frustrated his older brother to be singing something so new. One Republic was a good choice, Sam had admitted to Crowley. The _song_ was even better. For Dean and Castiel, anyway.

Sam tried forgetting about his own song.

Besides Dean was first. So, that meant no drinks or pot to help steady his brother’s jittering nerves. Sam grinned but bit down on his tongue before Dean could notice. 

They left Jovi with Ellen, their land lady and Jo’s Mom. She smiled at the boys as she took the small puppy that immediately started squirming. Sam poked his pointer finger into the pup’s stomach. “No.” he said firmly and Jovi stilled then licked at Sam’s finger before he pulled away to rub at her head. But she stayed still in Ellen’s arms. Sam offered the blonde woman a charming smile before jogging to catch the elevator and his brother inside it.

It was two blocks to Crowley’s and Dean had stopped twice, putting his head between his legs. Sam wondered if he would start dry heaving. “You gunna pass out?” he asked, the third time it happened and got Dean’s number uno bitch face. He put up his hands in mock defense. “Sorry, princess.” he offered in surrender but Dean scowled. 

“’M not the princess.” he said, stalking faster than he had before in the direction of the bar and Sam heard “You’re the princess.” when Dean was about twenty-five feet away. He chased his older brother all the way to bar.

As they stood right outside the entrance, Sam quirked his eyebrows at his brother “Jerk.” he said, fighting the tug of a smirk.

“Bitch.” Dean retorted and opened the door. He took a deep breath, spared one last glance at Sam and entered.

Sam was right behind him.

The bar was already half full and it was only around 8. Sam scanned the crowd, quickly. Searching for blue eyes and tousled hair. Maybe, if he had any manner of luck at all, a pair of golden ones too. Honey. Butterscotch. Sam smiled. The last one suited Gabriel’s personality, from what little he had met of it, anyway. Too sweet and too salty and left you wanting more than just one taste. The flavor sticking around long after it had dissolved, left you searching for the possible broken piece that got stuck between your teeth. And somehow you couldn’t find it in yourself to actually try to remove it. Sam sighed, this is ridiculous. It’s just a guy. Sam’s been with loads of guys. _Tons_ of guys. How is this man any different?

There.

Corner booth. Both men with another that Sam knew as Balthazar. Snarky bastard but alright to hang with. Cas didn’t look related to the two men beside him in the booth but Sam shrugged it off. Wasn’t really his business. Yet.

That additive caught Sam by surprise and he was left to question his own motives concerning the short man but Dean nudged him bringing him out of the reservoir of interrogation. “What time is it?” Dean asked, tapping his foot incessantly. Sam rolled his eyes then glanced at the ever-present watch on his wrist.

“You have a couple minutes before you have to go on. Think you wanna down a beer?” Sam asked, turning his head to look at his brother.

“No.” he lied to Sam and turned to the bartender-Bela- asking for a shot of tequila. Sam scoffed and took a seat at the bar, eyes swerving back to the corner booth every minute or so. Somebody had been up on the stage announcing the singers for tonight. Dean was making his way to the stage and Sam watched his brother’s fist clench and unclench multiple times.

Bobby was the one who had put them on the Karaoke list. They hadn’t exactly been willing volunteers as they had been cheated out of bet. But Crowley wasn’t one to see it that way. After a lot of arguments between Dean and the Scotsman, Dean surrendered. Sam was unsurprised. Crowley was downright scary at moments. Besides, it wasn’t like Dean had some horrible voice. He sounded okay. Sam on the other hand-

The intro of “Something I Need” started before Sam could finish his self doubt and Sam watched his brother’s gaze find Cas’. 

“I had a dream the other night.” Dean started, looking uncomfortable but relaxing a tiny amount with each word. “About how we only get one life.” there was a shout somewhere in the bar and Sam was positive that it was Benny. Dean grinned and sang a little stronger “It woke me up right after two.” Sam watched as his brother started walking a bit toward Cas before faltering and turning back to the stage. Sam wished he could start shouting at him. “Stayed awake and stared at you. So, I wouldn’t lose my mind.” Sam watched Dean’s shoulders tense and knew his brother was arguing with himself.

Dean turned back.

Sam bit down another smile. 

“I had the week that came from hell.” Dean swallowed and there were more cheers from the small crowd.

“And, yes, I know, that you could tell.” Sam watched as Gabriel nudged Balthazar and both men watched Cas’ eyes widen.

“But you’re like the net under the ledge when I go flying off the edge…you go flying off as well.” and suddenly, Dean was hesitant again. Standing much too far away from Cas and Sam felt he was in a rom com. How Dean would hate that.

“And if you only die once… I wanna die with… you got something I need. “ Dean took a breath and licked his chapped lips “In this world full of people, there’s one killing me…” and Dean was walking again. Had the bar always been this spacious? Sam wondered. Cas was straining in his seat and Sam saw Balthazar holding him back. “And if we only die once, I wanna die with you.” the echo’s of ’you’ was on the C.D. playing the music and Dean was immensely grateful. But he had stopped, he was waiting for the next verse to begin and Sam wanted to slap him. 

“Last night I think I drank too much.” Dean pointedly ignored the snort he had heard from the bar and started walking to Cas but two girls were suddenly in front of him and wouldn’t let him pass around them. Dean tried to not to scowl then he looked passed the two girls and straight into an ocean that looked caught in the middle of a storm. “Call it a temporary crutch.” he shrugged but could no longer tear his eyes away from Cas’.

“With broken words, I tried to say… Honey,-” both Sam and Gabriel grinned when Cas and Dean blushed at the term of endearment “-don’t you be afraid. If we got nothing, we got _us_.” 

And suddenly everyone was listening and watching and _feeling_. Because how could you not? Sam thought they were both a little ridiculous. Dean skipped the second chorus, because that’s what the mix-tape had done.

“I know that we’re not the same. But I’m so _damn_ glad that we made it to this time.”

Dean is torn, Cas is on the verge of running toward him and Sam is amazed at how they haven’t noticed they have an audience watching their confession through karaoke. Sam is ,also , desperately trying to remember why he can’t laugh. Because _finally_. 

There is just one more chorus ,though.

“You got something I need. In this world full of people, there’s one killing me. And if we only die once, I wanna die with you. If we only die once...”

Sam could have sworn no one was breathing.

“If we only _live_ once, I wanna live with _you_.” Dean breathed out the ending and Balthazar loosened his grip on Cas who ran to Dean-literally ran- and pressed his lips to Dean’s. Sam whooped along with Gabe and Bal and everyone was clapping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so cliche and cheesy. But. Dean IS cliche. Cas IS cheesy. I'm grinning like an idiot and I wrote it. i'M SO STUPID. Anyway, I know that 'Something I Need' was kinda a sabriel thing but it just fit better with Dean singing this. Omg I can't wait to post Sam's song lol. And Gabe's!


	12. That Trick Never Works Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to damaratsu and ruffles-the-fluffalo and freakinjamesbond for help with Sam's song...also sorry i didn't warn you guys about the AU i totally forgot!

Sam watched as Dean pulled Cas toward the bar exit and Sam just waved. 

So, now he had to stall his father longer than before. It was worth it. 

Chuck had came in and held the door open for the new couple and raised an eyebrow at Sam, walking up “Looks like I missed the good part.” he said as a greeting and Sam gave a sly smirk “Depends on the rest of the night, though, doesn’t it?”

Chuck shrugged “Are you ready to sing?”

Sam’s stomach jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge and suddenly Sam was grateful that he hadn’t eaten much of anything earlier. “No. Thanks for the reminder.” he grumbled

Chuck snorted “You sing all the freakin’ time. Especially that song. Serves you right for singing it around Bobby and Crowley.”

“Yeah, but not in front of people!”

“Just picture them naked. You sound like a teenager.”

“So? At least I’m not dating one.”

Chuck glared at Sam “I’m not. She left.”

“You actually sound genuinely upset.”

“I should be an actor then.”

Sam gave him a look and Chuck shifted his shoulders then asked Bela for a vodka and tonic. “Are you gunna be alright?” Sam asked, taking a sip of his scotch. He didn’t enjoy the drink but anything to steady his nerves.

“Yes, mom and I’ll call you tomorrow.” Chuck replied, irritated. 

Sam scowled “Whatever.”

“So, why aren't you over with short, smart, and sexy checking out your ass or didn‘t you know?” Chuck asked, after swirling around the vodka in his mouth for a minute or so, staring toward the corner booth. Sam resisted the urge to turn and look.

“I’d be over there but …”

“If this isn’t a legitimate reason I’m not sharing.” Chuck input

“John’s coming.”

“Ah. Well, then, Bela!” Chuck called and the blonde set another scotch in front of Sam, offering a sympathetic smile before whisking off to get drinks for the others waiting. “C‘mon. You have a song to sing soon.” Chuck said ,standing and headed for the back door, going through what passed as a kitchen first, Sam following behind.

There was a picnic table out back for smoke breaks that Chuck sat down on. The man always had a blunt with him but no one knew where or how he had it. Chuck pulled out a baggie with six blunts and he scrunched up his nose, opening it and handing one to Sam. Sam eyebrows rose “By myself?” 

“Nah. I’m going smoke one too but, well, John.” Chuck shrugged and Sam nodded his appreciation. 

Sam dug into his pocket and grabbed the Van Halen lighter Dean had given him earlier, flicking on the flame he brought it up to the end of the blunt and when the end was sufficiently glowing, he inhaled and held it. 

Exhaling slowly, he closed his eyes at the slight buzzing in his skull and fought the cough rising in his throat. “So, Ruby doesn’t know about John, then?” Chuck asked and Sam opened his eyes tiredly. 

“Are you fucking with me? Yeah, let’s tell her that her best friend’s verbally abusive father is coming to town and she may or may not assault the bastard. She is on parole for a reason, Chuck. Bipolar 1 Disorder isn’t something you fuck with. I‘d prefer she not even know he existed.” he said, eerily calm but given the situation Chuck lit his blunt and nodded in slight understanding.

After a couple moments of silence and four hits later “Does Bela know that she…?” Chuck questioned 

“I don’t know. I’m about to push their faces together, though.” Sam mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“Well, Dean and Cas figured it out.”

“After three months.” Sam added, bitterly. Those awkward moments had scarred him, he was positive.

The sound of the back door opening made the boys to turn their heads and Charlie was grinning at them. “One more song then you’re on, Sambo.” 

Sam pursed his lips and nodded, pensively. “Yeah.”

“Oh, Andy is in here, looking for you guys. He said he would be right up front for you, Sam” She added before disappearing back inside.

Chuck sniggered “Dude is probably tripping.”

“Naw, the guy quit acid. Said it wasn’t worth it or something. Are you guys going to yours later? Smoking a bowl, right? I would but-” before Sam could say it, Chuck did. “John, I know. And, yeah, why?”

“Ruby. Make sure she’s with you.” Sam said, standing.

Chuck stood and walked to the back door, holding it open for Sam “For only you, sire.” he said, in a mock British accent and Sam walked in as regally as possible. 

Pamela handed off the mic to Sam as he walked up on the stage and resisted sighing. Well, it couldn‘t go that bad.

Right?

The intro was soft and everyone hushed each other, turning to watch the next contestant. Sam almost snorted at the thought. 

“I thought that dreams belonged to other men” he almost whispered into the mic and he heard Andy cheer and if he knew where he was he'd flip him off. “’Cause each time that I got close They’d fall apart again.”

He felt looser with every breath. The music in the background calming him into the familiar words “I feared my heart would beat in secrecy-I faced the nights alone-Oh how could I have known …That all my life I only need you.” He caught eyes with Ruby and smiled around the words “Ooh! Almost _paradise_ -We’re knocking on heavens door-Almost paradise-How could we ask for more- I swear I can see forever in your eyes… Paradise…”

He had to fight to not seek out butterscotch eyes or a flashing smirk; he didn’t think he would be able to handle both singing _and_ butterflies. Heh, butterflies, Chuck was right, he was a hopeless teenager. 

“It seems like perfect love’s so hard to find I’d almost given _up_ You must have read my mind” And the urge to look was growing, instead Sam looked for Andy or Chuck or … _anyone_. “And all these dreams I’ve saved-for a rainy day- They’re finally comin’ true I’ll share them all with you ‘cause now we hold the future in our hands…Ooh! Almost _paradise_ ” he repeated the chorus, limiting his gaze to random couples and the bar, not daring to glance at the booths.

Andy screamed “That’s my dealer!” and Sam fought the stupid blush creeping up his neck. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips together so he wouldn’t scream something obscene back at his friend. Instead, he switched his voice so it was a little bit stronger, more staccato, for the next and last verse. “And in your arms salvation’s not so far away Its getter closer …” and that’s when he found the golden eyes dancing with amusement and just a little darkened with , Sam swallowed, lust. “Closer every day. Almost _paradise_ -We’re knocking on heaven’s door-Almost paradise- How _could_ we ask for more I swear I _can_ see forever in your eyes….Paradise ….Paradise …” Sam couldn’t swallow anymore and he still hadn’t broken the staring contest, he _couldn’t_.

He took a deep breath and sighed out the last word “Paradise…”

Chuck’s words echoed in his ears… _‘Just picture them naked._ ’

Sam was suddenly acutely aware of how tight his jeans had become in the last minute under Gabriel’s scrutiny.

Of course that’s when he noticed John standing at the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't get this song outta my head now ....


	13. The Doors And Too Much Wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> featuring drunk!Balthazar who actually isn't that drunk the room just started spinning without him....

It was like sticky glue. Wet at first and no matter how hard you would try you couldn’t move it (a gaze, in this instance). Gabriel licked his lips, vaguely aware of Balthazar trying to talk to him. The song had ended moments ago but Sam just wouldn’t break the gaze and Gabriel…well, he wasn’t sure if he even could. Let alone want too. The phrase "Undressing with your eyes." came to mind as Sam's gaze traveled up and down. Gabe swallowed and shifted in his seat, the kid had only stared and sang a song yet apparently that's all it took for Gabriel at the moment. He was half hard, for fucksakes!

The smell of alcohol was mixed in with so many others and Gabe was having trouble processing everything. The sharp tang of apple. Weed and mint. The white wine Balthazar had retrieved from Crowley during Sam’s song. Wood, oak. It smelled like oak. And vanilla. Sandalwood. Perfumes from girls gushing over that one loner at the bar who wasn’t looking to score. He did that what he couldn’t do anything else. He took in things one sense at a time. Kali had called him ridiculous. He never argued.

Sam’s eyes were red and Gabe could easily guess why but his eyes were so transcendent from the rest of room, he blinked but neither had glanced away.

“I think you’ve been taking lessons with Cas about uncomfortable eye-fucking with Winchesters.” Bal muttered into his wine glass and Gabe crinkled his nose at the thought of being so blatant and so furtive at the same damn time. He tore his gaze down to his apple martini.

“Aren’t you going to go proposition the man?” Bal asked 

“I …No.” Gabriel couldn’t understand why he said that but he had. And he _meant_ it. 

“Well, I think you’ve either grown up or you forgot to pack your balls.” Bal grinned at him “I thought Gabriel didn’t do long term.”

“I don’t.” Gabe scowled

“Then why have you been staring at his ass the whole evening only to turn down the chance to do-”

“If you say _’that_ ’, I’ll slap you.” 

“Rude. I was going to say ‘him‘. For his majesty’s knowledge. Are you going to sing?”

“N-yes. Sure.” Gabriel said, taking the half empty wine bottle from his brother and giving it to the passing Bela. 

“Whatcha gunna sing?” If Bal slurred slightly Gabriel ignored it.

“What do you want me to sing?”

“Something from the Doors.”

Gabe smirked when Bal leaned against him slightly, “For a junkie, you’re such a lightweight. But then I suppose two and a half bottles…” Gabriel trailed off, tracking Sam as he made his way to the bar and an older looking man. Gabe frowned “Bal, do you know who that is?”

“Mhm, Daddy dearest. Bloke is bigger homophobe then Michael and Luci put together.” Bal stated, rubbing at the inside of his elbow.

Gabriel slapped his hand away. “No scratching.” Gabe muttered.

Balthazar peered at him “You know, you pretend to be all rebellious but you had your freedom and you still came back. For me and Cassie. It’s not just ‘cause you wanted to spit on Dad or Luci or any of them, it's cause you care.”

Gabe smiled softly at his brother‘s ridiculous words, watching Sam’s features twist with annoyance “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re the big brother we all shoulda had. You never tried to be Dad or tell us that we were failures; you just picked us up and told us to try again. Very sporting. Very good. Kali is a bitch. Sam…isn‘t. He‘s good. You‘re _good_.” Bal made motions with his hands 

“Yes, and you’re drunk.” Gabriel said

“That is correct. I’ll drive.”

“We walked here.”

“Oh. Where‘d did Cassie flit off too?” Bal asked, looking around 

“Dean’s apartment is my best guess.” Gabriel mused, sipping his drink slowly; he’d lost sight of Sam.

“Are we leaving?”

“I thought you wanted me to sing.” Gabe reminded him, Bal immediately nodding.

“You never sing anymore. You would sing to Anna. She sang to me after you left. But then…well. Not since I was -how old was I? I don’t know. Anna loved your voice. She always sang me and Cassie to sleep.” 

Gabriel looked out into the crowd. “Mmm.” he made the noncommittal noise and swallowed down another drink of apple martini and guilt.

“It wasn’t your fault” Bal announced as though reading his brother’s face. “It was theirs. Raphael and Uriel and Zach. They didn’t watch out. Dad told us to watch out for each other. You did.”

“No, I didn’t, Bal.” Gabe disagreed.

“Don’t give me that. You are the only one that actual gave a shit we were in jail. Hell, you’re the only one who visits Anna. This is beside the point! You _care_ and I know and Cas knows. You did good. Now, take me home so I can pass out. Although, you still have to sing The Doors song first.”

“Alright. Which one?”

“The one you sang to Anna.”

Gabe smiled and nodded standing and walking to the bar first. “Crowley, go sit with Bal so he doesn’t pass out.” He said, Crowley looked relieved to be distracted from the man Bal had identified as Daddy Winchester, Bobby scowled at Gabe. He shrugged.

His was the last song of the night before the records took over.

“The Unknown Soldier” began to stream through speakers and not all looked at the stage but Gabriel wasn’t really expecting them to.

“Wait until the war is over…and we’re both a little older…the unknown soldier.” he smiled when he caught sight of Sam looking rather put out standing next to Daddy Winchester, Gabriel leaned down a little ‘till Sam caught his gaze and blushed “Breakfast where the news is read Television children fed Unborn living, living, dead Bullet strikes the helmet‘s head.”

“And it’s all over… For the… unknown soldier….It’s all over… For the… unknown soldier…” the sound effects taking over and Gabe grinning at Sam who looked like he was about die. The older man was glaring at him but Gabriel couldn’t find it in himself to care.

“Make a grave for the unknown soldier…Nestled in your hollow shoulder…the unknown soldier” Balthazar cheered and Gabriel shook his head “Breakfast where the news is read Television children fed….Bullet strikes the helmet’s head… And it’s all _over_ … The war is over… It’s all over!…The war is over …Well, all ooover baby! All over, baby! Oh, over, yeah! All over, baby! Wooooo, hah-hah! All over! All over, baby! Oh, woa- yeah! All over! All over! Heeeeyyyy…” the crowd clapped and Gabriel bowed because yes, he was pretentious. And he would have probably done an encore but his little brother was sloshed, so staying with him was his priority. He pursed his lips, since when was he responsible? 

He walked back over to the booth and Crowley raised an eyebrow at him “Are you up next on _American Idol_?” 

Bal giggled and Gabe hit the back of his head. Chuck came up to the booth, with the human crutch known as Andy, both sufficiently high “You guys coming to my house?”

Gabe looked at Bal who winked back “Not this time.” he said, helping his younger brother to the door and waving to his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No. NO. I don''t care if it's "not a good lullaby". Screw you its freaking awesome song lol okay im done and sorry abouyt the angsty bit but you know it's freaking Supernatural I don't know how to exclude all angst ...That's sad .. sorry! easily distracted but yeah thanks for the kudos and comments they are loved!!!!


	14. Taste the Rainbow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know... don't touch me I'm not okay

The night air felt cool against Gabriel’s skin and he hefted up the sagging Balthazar. “Do you want to sleep here?” he asked, irritated by the weight he was basically carrying. He quirked an eyebrow and stopped walking. “Actually, that’d be easier than this.” he mumbled to himself and Bal just yawned again.

Gabe crouched down and grabbed Bal’s legs and lifting. Bal’s upper half folding over his shoulder and Bal groaned “Did you just pick me up?” he giggled. 

Gabe rolled his eyes “Yeah, it’s the firemen carry ’cause you wouldn’t walk…We’re almost home, kiddo.” he said, heading toward the blue house at the end of the street.

“God, Bal, how much do you weigh?” Gabriel complained 

Bal hit his back “You don’t ask a lady her weight!”

“Did you just call yourself a girl?”

“…Maybe.”

“Alright then.” Gabe smiled and shook his head, walking up the drive to the side door to their house. “I’m going to put you down so I can unlock the door, okay?” 

“Mkay.” Bal muttered as Gabe set him down and leaned him against the siding as he stuck the key into the lock. Balthazar started singing.

“So…so, you think you can tell …heaven from hell…blue skies from pain…can you tell a-” he stopped abruptly when Gabe put one of his arms around Gabriel’s neck and helped Bal inside the house. Gabriel stumbled into the living room and deposited Balthazar on the couch but he continued the song, skipping most of it “Did they get you traaade your heroes for ghooosts…hot ash for the trees… Hot air for the cool breeze.” 

Gabriel smirked, going in search of the painkillers his brother would need in the morning. After setting it on the small table next to the couch, he opened the back door and Kansas raced in going straight for the couch, snuggling into the middle. Gabe was right behind the pup he moved Bal over a little so he could sit down and turned on the T.V. flipping through channels, finding _Friends_ and leaving it on. 

Bal was watching it and Gabriel was amazed he wasn’t out cold as of yet. 

“Ross and Rachel… are the most annoying thing. They fucking love each other and they get together and then they break up and then they make up and then-”

“I know, Bal, I watch the show too.” Gabe interrupted, hitting Bal with a pillow.

Bal picked up an unopened pack of skittles on the floor by the couch and Gabe frowned “Hey!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, are these yours?” Bal said, opening the packet and shoving four little orbs into his mouth, Gabe scowled 

“That’s not fair.” he pouted and Bal shrugged then threw a green one at Gabe’s face, Gabriel’s head swerved toward his younger brother “Did you just?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bal said, looking for all the world innocent sitting drunk on their couch.

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed “Yeah, and I’m Napoleon Bonaparte.”

“You’re certainly short enough to be.” Bal chuckled 

“Shut up.” Gabe muttered, pushing Bal legs off of his lap and Bal scowled then threw a yellow one at Gabe.

“Stop that.” he snapped, slapping at Bal’s arm 

“Nope! You can’t have any.”

“I didn’t ask for any. Stop throwing Skittles at me.” Gabriel complained, folding his legs under himself. Bal threw a purple one.

“STOP!”

“TASTE THE RAINBOW, GABE, TASTE IT!!” Bal shouted back and Gabriel stood and lunged for the packet of candy.

“I can’t have candy, you bitch.” Gabe said, hitting Bal with a pillow after he set the packet out of Balthazar’s reach.

Bal just shrugged “I mean, you can but you also would have to have an insulin injection every hour.” he said and Gabe scowled, burrowing back into his spot on the couch. 

“I can’t believe you can remember that but not all the lyrics to one of Pink Floyd’s most awesome songs.” 

“Aw, Celine gunna cry now?” Bal teased

“No, but you will in about five seconds if you don’t shut up.”

“Gabriel. There are millions of stars, trillions actually. And billions of galaxies. Possibly even other universes. They are all circling a point.”

“Yeah, so?” Gabe rolled his eyes

“That point is…not you.”

“Did you get that off of _Reba_?”

“….Maybe.”

“Bro, you have got to get out.”

“Fuck that. There’s nothing out there for me. At all.”

“Stop quoting movies.”

“Do you know what it’s like to be undone?”

Gabriel was quiet for such a long time that Bal sat up to see his brother staring into oblivion, unblinking and unmoving, the only way Bal knew he was even alive was because Gabriel’s Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. Balthazar poked his arm and Gabriel’s eyes focused; coming back from the distant they had been lost in. He looked toward Balthazar and offered a small smile. “I …I’m gunna go to bed.” he said, standing and walking up the stairs, Kansas right behind him. Bal looked at the spot on the stairs long after Gabe had left then sighed and fell back onto the couch. 

“Surrender Dorothy.” he mumbled, shaking his fist in the direction Gabriel had been staring before letting the alcoholic buzzing tug his eyes closed.


	15. Look! SMut!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah lol this kinda happened but hey it's free smut so whatever! Sabriel will happen soon I fucking swear I just need a bit more time

Cas licked at Dean’s lips then would lean back before Dean could retaliate and Dean pulled away “Stop that.” he growled, then chased Cas’ lips down again.

They were in Dean’s apartment, on the couch, lazily sharing kisses, the T.V. silently playing in the background. Cas leaned on Dean’s shoulder and sighed. “What’s going to happen with your father?” he asked, snuggling into the solid mass of the elder Winchester and breathing in the smell of oil and pine. 

Dean wrapped an arm around Cas “I can’t see the future, Cas.”

Cas looked toward Dean “I didn’t imply that you could.” 

Dean smiled but it faltered “I don’t know, Cas. I just…”

Cas could sympathize with the father problem, he had looked for his own father for years and that had only ended with him in jail and Balthazar with a heroin addiction and abandonment issues for both. Cas frowned; both of his brothers had folded in on themselves. Even though Gabriel had came and got them, it was apparent that he needed someone. Sam, Cas thought, would be a good choice. Solving Dean’s constant worry and Cas would know his brother wasn’t alone. The problem was the two men’s commitment problem.

Dean had started nibbling on his jaw, drawing him out of his thoughts. Cas closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling, his fingers finding the button on Dean’s jeans. Cas resisted the urge to giggle when Dean pulled away, shock more than evident on his face. “Cas…I-uh-that is….” Dean’s irises were blown and Cas knew Dean wouldn’t be saying no just yet. “Are you sure?” Dean’s voice broke and Cas smiled softly “I’ve been sure for two months, Dean.” 

But he slid his hand under Dean’s shirt to give him time to adjust from sweet kisses to hungry mouthing. He could feel the man’s toned muscles under his fingertips and he shifted subtly, trying to ignore his own erection. He pushed Dean until he was laying down on the couch, Cas immediately setting to work on the buttons of his shirt. Pressing open mouthed kisses to Dean’s abdomen and stomach, when the shirt fell away, slowly trailing up to Dean’s nipples.

Before Cas could tongue around them Dean reached down and pulled at Cas’ shirt, Cas stopped and pulled his shirt off, Dean stretching up and seizing his mouth, plundering it with his own tongue. Dean’s hands twisting into Cas’ hair , both fighting for dominance, Dean was the first to give in but Cas moaned into his mouth, rocking their hips together, Dean pulled back sucking in air at the delicious friction. “You know, this isn’t exactly how I thought the first time would go.” Dean mused and Cas pulled away from the hickey he had been leaving on his lover’s neck, freezing.

Dean’s brows furrowed “What is it?” 

Cas looked up, avidly “You…you’ve thought about this?” he asked, tongue darting out to wet his lips and Dean watched every flicker of it. Dean swallowed and nodded slowly. He sneaked a hand between their bodies and pressed it against Cas’ covered erection, palming slowly. “And about that.” he whispered hoarsely, Cas’ eyes darkened considerably at that and lunged at Dean’s mouth, devouring it. Dean flicked open Cas’ jeans, slowly pulling down the zipper, whispering into Cas’ ear about all the things he’s _thought_ about. “About me on my knees. In front of you.” Cas groaned at that, stopping his lavishes on Dean’s neck to nip at his bottom lip. 

Cas stopped moving completely for the second time and Dean again questioned internally if he was doing something wrong. “Dean…I…” Blue eyes looked away and Dean’s anxiety was climbing as Castiel pulled away and sat up. “Cas? What’s wrong?” he asked

“Nothing. It’s perfect. Dean.” Dean could have sworn those blue eyes had never been so wide and hopeful and scared all at the same time. “I love you.”

Dean choked on the air that supported him. He wanted to freak out. He should be allowed to freak out because…he loved him back. Maybe that was weird but they had become instant friends and Dean had trouble remembering his life before he’d met Cas, so was it really that strange? 

Maybe.

He didn’t really care at the moment. He blinked then straddle Cas’ lap and kissed him deeply and softly, till they both thought their lungs would give out for lack of air. Dean slipped a hand inside Cas’ boxers, taking hold of the hard cock and stroking it slowly, flicking his wrist when he’d reach the tip, repeating that motion over and over until Cas was a groaning, hot, mess. He paused and Cas whimpered out his objection. Dean leaned down and whispered “Say it again, angel.” biting at Cas’ ear.

Cas’ head was thrown back and his mouth was opened, he was panting out Dean’s name. Dean smirked and flicked his thumb over Cas’ slit, his lover immediately arching up into him “Say it.” he asked, softer than before and Cas opened his eyes, cerulean globes connecting gazes with viridian spheres. Dean’s breath caught when Cas’ hand ground down into his own erection, Cas leaned up, lips almost touching but not quite there. “I. Love. You.” he murmured, voice rasping and chafed.

Cas dipped a hand into Dean’s own boxers and caressed the hardness there while his tongue swirled around Dean’s right nipple, biting slightly when it peaked. Dean moaned loudly in response, tugging at Castiel’s hair so he could ravage his mouth again. Cas titled his head up and Dean leaned down, opening his mouth to Cas’, while his thumb wiped away the drop of pre come from Cas’ slit making him arch up again. Cas’ pulled away from the kiss, breathing heavily “’M close, Dean” he mumbled against Dean’s lips. “It’s okay.” Dean responded, speeding up his movements as Cas’ own hand slowed and stuttered with his gasps. Dean didn’t mind, he licked his way down Cas’ throat and back up to his mouth.

Cas realized his absence and matched Dean’s own pace, he stopped for a moment when Cas twisted his hand around his tip, groaning into Cas shoulder. When Dean could tell they were both on the edge he returned the sentiment earlier expressed. “I love you too.” he hummed against Cas’ cheek. That was all it took to send him over, moaning “Dean.” as he covered Dean’s hand with pearly cum. Dean kissed him softly all over his face when his hand motions stopped again this time with bliss. But he renewed his attentions quickly, stroking and twisting each time he reached the tip, Dean groaned, sweaty forehead pressed against Castiel's. He opened his eyes to find blue waiting for him. “Come for me.” Cas pleaded and Dean’s eyes fell back shut when his release hit, moaning softly. He sagged against Cas for a moment to catch his breath and the two shared lazy kisses just as before. 

Dean shifted so he was sitting next to Cas instead of on top of him, mouths still connected in a fond link. When he stood, breaking the kiss, Cas’ lips were swollen and his neck had a purple mark. Dean swallowed, if they had all night he would have carried Cas to his bed but his father…”Oh, shit!” he whined, rubbing his eyes and Cas quirked an eyebrow “Not exactly the greatest response.” he said and Dean blushed.

“No, not you. Sam can’t stall Dad forever. They’re probably on their way here, now.” Dean mumbled, pitifully. Cas smiled and stood, their proximity so close Dean wondered how they hadn’t touched yet. Dean reached up a hand, rubbing at Cas’ stubble and kissed him softly. “I want you to stay.” he said against Cas’ lips, Cas pulled away and offered another small smile.

"Next time.” he assured and Dean nodded then pulled his lover toward the bathroom.

He got a wet, warm, washcloth, getting on his knees he tugged off Cas’ jeans and boxers then wiped him up. Cas kissed him softly when he stood and took the washcloth from his grip, returning the favor. “C’mon, I think I have a pair of jeans that will fit you.” Dean said after Cas stood, tugging on his hand so Cas would follow him to his room. Finding the jeans in the bottom drawer of his dresser, he handed them to Cas who smiled his thanks as he pulled them, pausing when he noticed Dean’s wide eyed stare out of his peripheral vision “What is it?” he asked, a bit self-conscious. 

Dean came up to his back and traced the black set of wings tattooed on Castiel back “Beautiful.” he whispered and Cas felt red rising up his neck and tinge his ears.

“Thanks.” he said, turning to face Dean whose gaze had turned loving. He kissed Dean, again and the Winchester smiled.

“I love you.” Dean told him, that’s when they both heard the front apartment door opening.


	16. A Bottle or Eight

Sam really did try to pull his gaze away from Gabriel’s but in the end it was Gabe who looked down first. Sam suddenly felt a sense of loss but it quickly disappeared when he noticed John at the bar. Lovely. Sam shook his head to clear his thoughts and walked to his father and adoptive parents. He grinned slightly from that thought. Crowley and Bobby as his parents. Crowley and Bobby as parents.

“Hey, Sammy.” John said, looking strangely nostalgic and making Sam uncomfortable. There was such a difference in the way Dean called him that nickname, John made him sound like an incapable child whereas Dean said it with brotherly protection and a customary grin. “How’s life treating you? Any girl I should know about?” John asked, interrupting his thoughts and Sam’s lips pursing together “No. We’ve talked about this.”

But John ignored Sam’s comment “I bet they follow you around like dogs.”

Sam smiled so fake it made his muscles ache, Bobby took over the conversation. Sam caught sight of Bela winking at Ruby; he let a stressed sigh escape. Hopefully they would work things out tonight as well. He rubbed at the inside of his palm and Crowley watched with darting eyes, sending Sam’s questioning glares. There was a scar there Sam rubbed at when he got to unnerved, it had calmed him down usually but it wasn’t working tonight. Sam just rubbed harder.

“Something wrong with your hand?” John asked and Sam looked up, panicking a little. 

“Uh, no! No, just a mosquito bite, I guess.” he answered, unsure why he didn’t want to tell John. He didn’t stop dragging his thumb over the scar. His gaze drifted toward the ground, not noticing Bobby’s worried gaze. 

Suddenly, Gabriel was asking Crowley something before basically prancing to the stage. Sam bit at his bottom lip, watching the blonde walk toward the stage.

“Fag.” Sam heard John mutter interrupting his pleasant thoughts, Sam frowned at the back of John’s head as the man gulped down his third shot of whiskey. “Dad, can you not?”

“What?” John asked, looking up at Sam, knowing full well what Sam meant.

Stop being an asshole.

“Just don’t.” Sam muttered into his fourth glass of scotch

Sam glanced away to find Gabriel staring straight at him, head cocked to the side, grinning through the words of a song. Sam felt himself blush at the charming smile, John noticing as well. “Are you smiling at him?” John demanded, Sam’s color drained but he wouldn’t stop smiling, shooting John a look and a slight nod. “Yeah. I am.” 

After Gabriel had walked off the stage, Sam stood and fought with himself. He could just go over there to say hi. John put a hand on his shoulder. Or not. “Ready to go, Sammy?” 

Sam looked down at the hand and pleaded with himself not to shudder, John would feel it. “Sure.” he mumbled, planning to stop at the liquor store and getting another bottle of scotch or eight. He turned to Bobby, giving him a weak smile. They walked out into the street and John looked toward the parking lot. “The Chevy here?” and it took way to long for Sam to realize that John meant the Impala. “Oh! No, we walked here. Dean is replacing the brake lines, they were a little faulty.” Sam explained, heading in the direction of their apartment and praying that Dean and Cas were at Cas’ place.

John looked annoyed with something and Sam didn’t want to ask so he reached in to his pocket, grabbing his cigarettes and a lighter. He put it between his lips and lit it. Inhaling calming nicotine and regretting not going to Gabriel’s table. John scowled at the cigarette in between Sam’s fingers. “Do you have to do that.” it wasn’t even a question. Sam stopped and glared. “Yeah, I do.” 

But instead of arguing John just shrugged and kept walking. “Did you get a job yet?”

Sam ran his tongue over his teeth again and rubbed at the scar “I have a job.”

“I meant a _real_ job.”

Sam gritted his teeth “It is a real job.”

“You draw on people. I thought you wanted to be a lawyer.”

“ _No_. You wanted me to be a lawyer.”

“I just wanted you to do more with your life. Marry a nice girl-” Sam clenched his fist “-have kids.” John said dubiously

Sam spared a glance, took another drag and kept walking. The liquor store neon just in sight. And after that his apartment was only a couple stores down. The apartment was nice. Two floors, Sam mostly had the upstairs to himself. Sam cringed and shockingly, hoped Dean and Cas had _not_ respected his space. He inhaled another bit of cancer. 

He remembered when he started smoking. Azazel- the guy he called Yellow Eyes- had found him after Dean called one night wanting Sam to move back to Lawrence and move in with Dean. Sam was on the back stairs of Azazel’s shop so it’s not like the man had purposefully sought him out. He actually didn’t ever say much but that night he sat down next to Sam, pulled out Marlboro Black 100’s and offered the pack to Sam. Sam smiled at the memory of his coughing fit but he had kept inhaling like it was the oxygen he needed to survive. Or rather not survive. Sam didn’t want to move back, Sam didn’t even like it there with the older man sitting next to him. 

Azazel was interesting to say the very least about the eccentric man. He was comfortable in his own skin but treated it like it was someone else’s nonetheless. Sam had actually hit on him when he met the guy; Azazel had given him a once-over then said he was old enough to be Sam’s father. Sam promptly told him that didn’t necessarily matter. Azazel gave him this crazed half smirk and said “Now, Sammy, it _always_ matters.” Sam had never told him his name and the way Azazel said his name was strange like it wasn‘t a nickname at all. So, instead of leaving the shitty dive like he should of, Sam stayed and talked to the crazy bastard till four in the morning. He had a job and roommate by the time the sun shone onto the bar tap. 

Azazel never advanced on him, respected his room, his space. To be honest Sam was a bit disappointed. But on that back stair when Sam’s past had dredged up from the murky swamp Sam had left it in, Azazel gave him a signature smirk and said “I’ll miss ya, Sammy.”

They smoked the whole pack together and Azazel gave him the keys to his ‘68 Camaro RS/SS. It was cherry red with black pinstripes and it was convertible, when Sam tried refusing, Azazel shook his head and muttered about a Mustang he bought off a friend nicknamed War. Sam wasn’t about to protest too much, the car was beautiful. Dean still didn’t know about it, for two reasons. He despised Azazel with a passion and he would want to tweak with the already perfect car. 

On nice days or even shitty, horrible days where Dean had to work and Sam could take the day off, he would go drive it out on dirt roads, watching with unabashed excitement as the speedometer climbed past 90. 

Hopefully, tomorrow would be one of those days. Sam was itching to put some distant between him and John. Maybe he could tempt Gabriel for a day with some speed and unused roads.

Sam stopped right outside the liquor store and swallowed. He hadn’t shown anyone that car, not even Ruby or Chuck. And suddenly he was going to take Gabriel, a guy he barely knows, on a drive in it?! He could hear Azazel now. “What’s the point in trying to have a little fun if you aren’t willingly to take any chances?”

Sam felt uncomfortable with John’s gaze on him and Azazel’s voice in his head with Gabriel stuck in his thoughts. He felt a bit like the _Twilight Zone_ intro. “Out of body, out of mind…” at least that’s how he thinks it went. God, he was all over the place today.

He took one last breath before dropping the bud and stepping on it. He sent John a shaky smile and opened the door to a drunk’s heaven. He passed the rows of alcoholic beverages and picked up a bottle of Jack Daniel’s for Dean and Malibu for himself later. He stared a bit forlornly at the bottle of Crown’s before shaking his head and heading to the checkout, all the while John standing by the door. When Sam came back up to his father, John looked at the bottle of Malibu with skepticism “Rum? Would you like to get Coke as well?”

Sam bit his tongue and bypassed John, straying down the sidewalk in the general direction of his apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IMPORTANT IF YOU WANNA KEEP READING!!! Okay two things you guys absoultely HAVE to keep in mind for the next like four chapters,so Azazel is actually gunna be in this BUT he isn't bad at all he's kinda like the mentor you fall in love with for Sam but NO HEAR ME OUT NOTHING EVER HAPPENED OR WILL HAPPEN JUST SAMMY BEING BITCHY ABOUT IT AND GABE ALL JEALOUS! And secondly,no, I'm not going to have Sam wake up in some empty warehouse to find it was some Djin posion induced dream, he just has chronic nightmares and insomnia okay? Okay. Thank you, hopefully you guys still wanna read. Again, comments and kudos are loved, it's awesome hearing from you people. TELL ME WANT YOU WANT BAL TO BE!!! 'cause it's a tie between pansexual and asexual and Cindy doens't know blah blah just tell me 'cause I need to know what he comes off as 'cause all I get is confused okay sorry this is really long I'm done thanks for reading!


	17. Fuck Your Niceness

The wind had changed from gentle and peaceful to harsh and cool but it still felt calming when it passed through Sam, like it could cleanse the dark from him. John had sat down on the step and watched the stars, opening the bottle of Jack Sam had bought for Dean while Sam stood outside his apartment building considering for about the millionth time to just hop in the Camaro and drive back to Stanford and Azazel. It was simpler there. He knew exactly where he stood, how he stood, and what he stood on. In Lawrence, he was always on the outs with someone or his brother disapproved of something, worse, his father disapproved of something he had done. It was kinda funny actually, that all of his surrogate family and actual family hated Azazel. He understood why. Azazel wasn’t exactly likeable, he had a habit of insulting you every chance he got. Well, except Sam. He treated Sam like an equal. Maybe that’s why Sam wanted to go back. 

Sam crinkled his nose, if Azazel was the only one Sam wanted to hang with it probably meant his life sucked some major dick at the moment. Because Azazel was a fucking jerk. And instantly, Sam’s phone was in his hand as he sat down the rum and walked a little bit away from John. Before he could even argue with himself, he was dialing Azazel. 

The sound of the phone being answered. “Yeah?”

“Okay, fuck you and your niceness with me. Fuck you for being real. Why couldn’t you have just told me to fuck off? Huh? Why couldn’t you be your shitty self? Just… just fuck you!” Sam hissed into the phone then clamped his mouth shut. What in hell’s name was he doing?

“Sammy?” he heard a familiar voice laugh “Well, that’s a new insult for me. ’Fuck your niceness.’ Usually it’s for the opposite reason. Funny coincidence actually, that you call me now. What’s got into you all of sudden?”

And yet again his mouth responded before his brain could shut it down “I met someone.”

“Uh huh. And you call me? Says a lot about you, doesn’t it?”

“Shut up.”

“You’re the one who called me, Sammy boy.”

“I don’t even know why.”

“I do.”

Sam paused to glare at the phone “So, what you’re God? You just know everything?”

“No. Not quite. I just know you. You lived with me for about 4 years, remember?”

“So why did I call you, then? I mean, if you know me inside and out.”

“Well, one, you’re freaking out because you actually like the man and two, I was the only other person you liked in that way. Besides, I’m the only one who could tell you that. Me and you’re _family_ don’t get along so well.”

Sam stopped pacing on the sidewalk, glaring at a crack in the pavement as if it had committed the worst offense possibly against him. Why did that have to make so much sense and piss Sam off at the same time?

“I hate you.”

“Well, then. I should just go home then shouldn’t I? No point in driving over 200 hundred miles for someone who hates me.”

Sam’s throat went dry “What?” he squeaked.

“Azazel, no! John is here. Dean is here. Ruby is here. Are you nuts? Don’t answer that question.” Sam whispered urgently into the phone but he could only hear laughing and The Buzzcocks playing on a car radio.

“Awh, c’mon, Sammy! It’ll be fun. Hey, I’ll even give you some new ink. How’s the thigh, anyway? Let’s see, two weeks. Still a bit red and hella sensitive, right?”

“Yeah, it’s healing fine. But-”

“Good. How are your nightmares?” 

Sam’s mind went blank. His nightmares had started up the minute he had returned to Lawrence, it was only on nights Sam had fallen asleep on Azazel’s couch that they had subsided completely. 

“Fine. They’re fine.”

“Wow, you used to be a better liar, Sammy. Have they changed at all?”

But Sam didn’t want to answer so he made Azazel uncomfortable, returning the favor, as it was. “I don’t know, Yellow Eyes. Why do you care so much but just not enough?”

It was quiet for a long time and Sam was almost sure he had hung up before “Can we just not talk about that? For once?”

“No. Tell me.”

“Goddammit, Sam! I’m old enough to be your father! I’m a jerk! I’m a convict! I killed someone! Take your pick.”

“I told you I didn’t care!”

“But I do!” he heard a sigh and Sam rubbed at his eyes, seeing weird patterned colors.

“Look, I’ll be there in an hour or so. I’ll check into the Garden, okay? We don’t need to bring this up every time we talk.”

Sam agreed with that but he just had to keep scratching at old wounds. It was a habit of his. He didn’t even care for Azazel like that anymore but it annoyed Sam to no end for some empty reason in the closet of his mind. “Fine.”

“Hey, Sammy? What’s his name?”

Sam smiled “Gabriel.” then pressed end. He walked back over to John who had drank about 1/3rd of the bottle already. He took the bottle out of John’s hands then picked up the unopened one; Sam shook his head and again prayed the happy couple wasn’t upstairs.

“Who were you talking to?” John asked 

Sam didn’t really care about anything but some undisturbed sleep at the moment “Azazel.” he muttered before enter the code on the door to let them into the building. 

“That bastard you lived with?” John demanded and Sam shrugged, stepping into the elevator.

“No, the other one. From X-men. You know, the teleporter.” Sam said, sarcasm dripping over his words as he pushed the button to the third floor.

John frowned that one frown which screamed ‘I’m disappointed in you.’ Sam just ignored it, the doors opening when the elevator beeped. He walked down the familiar hallway, remembering the happy morning he had. He walked passed his own apartment to Ellen’s.

He knocked on the door, Ellen opening almost as soon as he knocked. Jovi ran out as soon as the door opened wide enough for her to fit through, she jumped up on Sam’s jeans, like before. Sniffing eagerly and whining to be picked up. He wondered what would happen when she weighed over 90 pounds full grown as he reached down to scoop her up, handing the bottles to John. She gave his nose the fast-becoming-customary lick as he tickled her belly. He realized fondly he would always pick her up.

John frowned at Sam after Ellen said good night. “What is that?”

Sam lifted an eyebrow “This is Jovi.” he answered, once again moving past John to reach his apartment door. John followed.

Sam looked down at Jovi, blue eyes looking back, “Here goes.” he muttered to her, she only wiggled a bit and he opened the apartment door.


	18. Two for One and Six foot Three

Sam looked around the ground floor of the apartment, seeing it empty. He set Jovi down and she ran toward Dean’s room. Sam eyes widen and he quickly moved John into the kitchen and put a glass in front of his father, leaving the bottles as well. “I need to get the laundry out of the washer and into the dryer.” he mumbled quickly before, jogging in the direction Jovi had taken off in.

He found the puppy at his half naked brother’s feet, Cas looking amused when Dean leaned down to scratch behind her neck. “Hey, Jovi.” he greeted the puppy who licked at his face and Sam would have made fun of his brother if it was any other situation. “Why are you _here_?” he asked, slightly panicking. Dean had the same amount of fear in his eyes when he looked up at Sam “What happened to stalling?” he shot back but Sam wasn’t having any of that.

“I did.” he hissed “For three hours! Why didn’t you guys go to Cas’?” he whispered angrily while Dean just looked more and more frustrated as he handed an old AC/DC shirt to Cas who pulled it over his head, it was obviously too big on his frame and that distracted Dean for a moment. “Well, what are we gunna do?” he asked Sam

“How should I know?”

“Thanks, Sam. Great advice.” Dean said 

Sam glared “This is your fault. I’m not getting blamed.”

Cas looked annoyed with both of them “Just one of you get him upstairs and I can sneak out.” he offered and Dean pointed a finger at him, starting to say something but it died out and he shrugged. “Oh. Okay.” 

He looked toward Sam, Sam just gave him his best bitch face “I’ve been dealing with _his_ shit for over an hour, how about the perfect son takes over?” he snarled at his brother who immediately backed off “Fine.”

Dean turned to Cas and smiled softly “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Cas nodded and pressed their lips together while Sam looked down Jovi who was currently attacking a baseball on Dean’s floor.

Dean left the room for the kitchen with Sam watching out the door.

“Dad! When did you get in?” Dean asked John who looked up from his drink 

“Hey, Dean.” he answered his oldest child “Didn’t see you at the bar.” 

Dean swallowed his nerves “Heh, well, you know how it is. You know, we made the spare room into an office, of sorts, you should see it.”

Sam rolled his eyes.

John just shrugs, standing “Lead the way.”

Dean practically ran up the wooden stairs, John following a bit wary of his son’s strange actions. As soon as they were both upstairs, Sam opened the bedroom door and walked into the living room, picking up Cas’ dirty shirt from underneath the coffee table and handing it the man. Cas looked upward as if to see if someone was listening then his gaze turned to Sam. “It took Dean and me awhile to figure out our feelings for each other.” he stated and Sam fought down the snort.

“Yeah, I know. Everyone knows.”

Cas blushed a little and swallowed before continuing “I’m just trying to tell you don’t wait so long.”

Sam glanced away and his eyebrows crinkled, creating the wrinkle between them “Uh, Cas, I’m not seeing anyone or anything like that.”

Cas just smirked knowingly and Sam had the urge to scratch at the new wound Cas opened but instead squinted at Cas “Okay, then, well, thanks for the …uh advice.” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. Voices were nearing the stairs and Sam opened the front door for Castiel. He offered one last smile before walking out into the hallway, toward the stairs. 

Sam closed the door before John noticed it was opened and sat down on the couch, _Friends_ playing. Jovi immediately climbing up in his lap. It was the one where Rachel kisses Ross at the end. Dean basically ran to the couch when he noticed it on. “Have they kissed yet?” he asked Sam, under his breath so John wouldn’t hear, Sam shot him a smug look but shook his head “Nah, not yet.”

John sat down in the black overstuffed chair and gave the boys another judgmental look “Soap opera, boys?” he asked, contempt filling his voice. 

Funny how much that happened when he talked, Sam mused.

Dean frowned then changed the channel to _CSI: Miami_ and pushed himself back into the couch with irritation at the show. Sam and he made fun of this almost regularly. John looked pleased with it “Now, here’s a good show.”

Sam wondered if he would bite his own tongue off before John left in a couple days. He’s phone beeped and he unlocked, Dean reading the message with Sam.

Yellow Eyes: At the Garden. You should try sleeping tonight.

Dean looked at Sam, the question of who and why wasn’t Sam sleeping evident in the green glare. Sam ignored him and replied.

I should. But where would be the pain in that?

Dean nudged his arm then pointed with his chin at the phone. “Hooker?” he whispered, teasingly and Sam just scoffed, shaking his head. He got up and went into the kitchen to get something to eat, Jovi trailing him. He was starving, by now. The fridge was mostly empty, besides Chinese takeout boxes and leftover pizza the only health comfort Sam could find was apples. He sighed and grabbed the green orb, taking a bite, his phone beeped again.

Yellow Eyes: It’s sleep, Sammy. You know that thing that can kill you if you avoid for too long.

Sam just shrugged at the phone.

I’m getting the overprotective vibe, again.

His phone beeped almost instantly.

Yellow Eyes: One conversation, Sammy, that’s all I want. One conversation where this doesn’t come up.

Sam twisted his mouth and rubbed at his palm.

Maybe the day after never.

He walked back into the room and sat down onto the matching sofa, leaning his head back on the couch and taking another bite of the green apple. Jovi looked torn between Dean and Sam, before snuggling into Sam’s side. It was two commercials before Azazel texted back.

Yellow Eyes: I wonder what would happen if I came over and forced you to go to sleep. Where’s the car? 

Sam scoffed and both Dean and John looked toward him, the commercial was about helping to cure cancer so both men were looking at him strangely. Sam rolled his shoulder and looked toward the veranda ‘till their gaze returned to the screen.

Goodnight, Azazel.

He typed it out then set his phone in his lap watching the bad acting of yet another unrealistic cop show. It beeped again only after John fell asleep in the chair and Dean had switched the channel back to the _Friends_ marathon.

Yellow Eyes: If only.

Sam stared at the message for awhile before deciding not to answer and getting up for a smoke.


	19. My Psychiatrist Is Crazier Than Me

After the cigarette was gone Sam stayed on the little balcony, sitting down on the wood, just for awhile. Jovi had come out and got into Sam’s lap, turning around a couple times like before, then laid down, letting Sam rub at her head instead of his palm. Azazel called him just when he started thinking about going back inside.

Sam’s thumb hovered over the red phone before finally answering the vibrating device.

“Why are you calling me?” Sam groaned into the phone, as if Azazel was his mother checking up on him.

“I have better questions. Why’d you answer? Why are you awake at 3:29 in the morning? Why do you insist on scratching at scars? Why did you have to choose me, of all people? Why do you let John intimidate you? More importantly, why haven’t you asked Gabriel out?”

Sam resisted the urge to rub harder into Jovi’s head. “I just met him this morning!” he protested against the onslaught of the unexpected questions. “I don’t let John intimidate Me.” he mumbled and Jovi shifted.

He could feel the skepticism coming through the phone. “Yeah, sure. Where’s the SS?”

“In a storage locker on the outskirts of town, still in perfect condition.”

“You do drive him, don’t you?” he heard Azazel ask and smiled. Azazel had to be the only one who called their car ‘him’ instead of ‘her’.

“Yeah, I do. When I can get away.”

There was silence and Sam knew Azazel was smirking when he asked “No one else has seen him, have they?” he sounded sure and smug and Sam wanted to tell the bastard ‘yes, everybody has’ but that wasn’t true, was it? 

Instead he opted for silence. “C’mon, Sammy! Do you hide everything important to you? Well, everything except Dean that it is.

Again, Sam couldn’t object. It was just his nature. “Fuck you.” he mumbled and the eerie laugh rang in his ears. For being so drawn to Azazel, there was stuff that made Sam wonder how the hell he had been in lust with this guy. “Missed ya, Sammy.” Azazel stated.

“Does that mean I can hang up now?”

“Mhm. Oh, Sammy?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re gunna take Gabriel out for a drive tomorrow.”

Before Sam could object the dial tone blared into his ear. He sighed into the phone and picked up Jovi, going inside and up the stairs to his room. He looked at the bed and a sudden image of flames and whispering voice grating at his ears accosted his senses. He almost dropped Jovi. He shuddered and put the pup down, she sniffed around and yipped happily when all she could smell was Sam. She struggled up onto the bed and burrowed into the covers. Sam sighed, stripping down to his boxers. The one and only bonus of sleeping with nameless people every night was his nightmares dimmed to the perplexing pursuits of abnormal things.

He crawled into the monstrosity of pillows and under the blue comforter. He laid there until sunlight shown on the comforter when his eyes tugged shut. But his alarm clock went off merely seconds later, somebody had switched it to a radio channel and ‘Heat of the Moment’ shrieked on his right side making him jump, pulse taking off on a 5k run before he realized it was only his clock.

He peered at his wrist, 7:00 a.m. glaring at him. He grabbed a pillow and shoved it over his face, screaming into it. Jovi crawled unto his stomach, laying down and inching up onto his chest. Tongue lolling out of mouth and dog breath assaulting his face. He squeezed his eyes shut. “For the love of Osiris, kill me now.” he groaned, rolling over and knocking Jovi beside him. He hadn’t slept but the hang over was still beating against his frontal lobe. 

He sat up on the side of his bed and opened his night stand door. Three bottles of pills rolling around, jostled by the sudden movement. One bottle was sedatives, for when he hadn’t slept in days. One bottle was lithium pills for Ruby when she got in a mood and dumped her own. The third was basically medical prescribed energy pills. He grabbed the third and unscrewed the child-proof cap.

He shook the bottle, two pills falling into his scarred hand. He popped them into his mouth and swallowed hard. He rattled the bottle but no pills clicked against the side, Sam shut his eyes so tight he saw little colored polka dots against the sea of black. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fingers into the palm of his hand, squeezing the empty bottle in the other. Just like before with the lighter, he threw it harshly against the wall and fought down the urge to scream.

“Throwing things again, Sam?” he heard his older brother, he didn’t even jump. He looked up at his brother and gave him his realist fake smile. Huh, oxymoron. Kinda like happy life. God, maybe he should ask for antidepressants. “Well, you know me, always ready to break something.” he smiled, a knock cut off Dean’s next statement. “Oh, that must be my ride.” Sam muttered standing and grabbing a pair of jeans. He rooted through his drawers for a suitable and clean shirt. Deciding on his only Pink Floyd shirt, he grabbed his phone off the desk and pulled on a pair of Chucks. “Uh, drop off Jovi at the kid downstairs, Kevin, on your way to work, yeah?” he said, before taking off down spiral, wooden, stairs, passing John and opening the door as he heard “Don’t think you got outta this conversation, bro!” Dean yell at him.

Azazel stood at the door in a t-shirt and red jeans, aviators propped on his nose, Sam watched as he grinned at Dean’s comment. Sam pushed him out of view then closed the door before John noticed the man and his crazy smirk. “Are you fucking insane?” Sam hissed as soon as he turned around.

“Well, I can answer that question with the customary answer _or_ you can go to the Pie Chart and ask Gabriel out. I’m leaning toward the latter, if you wanted to know.” he said, cigarette hanging from his mouth. Sam frowned “You’re not supposed to smoke in here. And why would I, Yellow Eyes? I never have before.” he asked plucking the cigarette out of Azazel’s lips and putting it out against the man’s skin.

Azazel didn’t flinch or wince, just watched the burn mark sizzle on his flesh, Sam shook his head and Azazel looked up at him “No skin sensory, Sammy boy, you know that.” yellow contacts flashing at Sam who rolled his eyes. “Too bad, I wouldn’t mind seeing you suffer a bit.”

“Oh,” Azazel clutched his chest “I’m hurt. C’mon, let’s meet up with your lover. First we‘re picking up the car though.” he said, turning and taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Sam followed, mumbling he had barely touched Gabe. 

On the second floor stairs, Azazel abruptly stopped and turned to stare at Sam eerily. “You haven’t slept in a couple days, have you?”

Sam looked away “I slept a day ago.”

“No nightmares? No hunting dreams?” Azazel asked, rocking on his feet a little, head twisted and eyes gazing wildly at Sam. 

“Well, I haven’t had the nightmares.” Sam said still not making eye contact

Azazel peered at him before smirking. “You used to be such a better liar, Sammy. Just because it didn’t feature the Red Room or torture doesn’t mean it’s not a nightmare. Normal people would be freaked out by _one_ of your monster catching dreams.” he said, looking up at Sam but at the same time not looking up at him. Always equal, never too strange. 

“What kind of monster?”

“I dunno, it had fangs and something coming out of its wrists.” Sam mumbled at the railing.

Azazel smirk faltered for a moment, face filled with concern then returned before Sam could catch it. “They come after you?”

Sam started shifting. Azazel raised an eyebrow “Ah, family, then. Nice to know they’re not monsters, eh?”

Sam glared at Azazel “I can’t control my dreams, Azazel, you’re not the only one I’ve hunted.” and it sounded so full of self hatred that Azazel glared at the man. “Good, another nice thing to know, other people wronged you.” he said before turning and walking down the stairs before Sam could answer. 

Sam jogged down the stairs, following Azazel into the bright, sunny, street. “We’ve all got our demons, Sammy. But there’s always a few angels to help out. Who knows? Maybe Gabriel is one of ‘em.” 

Sam stopped, his breath uneven and Azazel glanced his direction. “It’s not that simple, okay? I’ve killed people. Monsters.” he swallowed “Family. At least, something in me did. I can’t ever remember fully.” he rubbed at his scar but stopped when Azazel glared at his hand then connected yellow with hazel. Sam shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Have you talked to Alastair? Actually no, don't do that. What about Naomi? Or do you just think your nightmares will disappear?” Azazel asked, eyes never leaving Sam’s

“They did when I was with you!” Sam snarled at him and watched as Azazel didn’t react at all.

“Does Dean have any affect on them?” he asked, uncomfortably serious

Sam rolled his shoulder “No.”

“Pills?”

“No.”

“Just me?”

“Well, Adam reduces it to hunting. Sometimes Ruby does but only when I fall asleep by accident at one of their places.”

“People who you relate to? People who you love differently then others. Huh. You feel safe with them. With me. Ironic.” he said smirking and Sam scowled. “No, because then I wouldn’t- I live with Dean! I shouldn’t be having the nightmares!”

“Not necessarily. I’ll bet money you slept fine in the dorms with Jess a couple feet away in the other bed. Dean isn’t what you see as safe anymore…probably ’cause John.”

Sam wasn’t about to admit that.

“What do you know.” he mumbled and Azazel smiled, actually smiled, softly. “Army psychiatrist, remember me? C‘mon, let‘s go get the car and your date so I can interrogate him, yeah?.” he said, hopping into a blood red mustang, Sam following. 

"Wait, interrogate? What?!" Azazel smirked out of the corner of his eyes, starting the car and revving the engine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i just want to elaborate a little in case I don't explain in the actual story ... Azazel was a soldier in the Gulf War for two years before his unit got hit by an I.E.D , killed everyone but him and left him with serious nerve damage. His eyes were scarred also so hence the contacts, without them everything is too bright and blurred. After he got out of the hospital, he was still in service but they assigned him to a desk to deal with soldiers who had PTSD and trauma. He was a psychiatrist for three years before he got into a bar fight and the guy he was fighting with hit his head and died. Azazel was locked up for about 6 years. He'd only been out two when he met Sam. Okay! Hope you guys don't complete hate this.


	20. With Me?

Sam sat in the car for about mile without saying anything, Azazel perfectly fine with the silence. It was another two miles to the storage locker. The radio softly playing ’Box of Rain’ and Sam all but pouting in the passenger seat.

“Why’d you stop talking to Naomi?” Azazel asked after while

Sam turned his gaze out the window and shrugged “It wasn’t helping anything. I didn’t see the point.”

Azazel glared “Oh, you didn’t see the point. No, ‘course not. You just wake up screaming sometimes because your conscious doesn’t play nice.”

“I haven’t woke up screaming…” Sam muttered

Azazel just looked at him

“That I know of.” he added, under his breath

They pulled up by the storage unit and got out. Sam reaching into his pocket for the keys, pulling them out, he threw them at Azazel. The man smiled. “Your car, Sammy. You drive.”

Sam’s eyebrows tugged down “It’s not mine.”

Azazel pulled a beat up pack of 100’s, sticking a cigarette in his mouth before throwing the keys back “Sure it is, your name is on the registration. Which you would know if you had ever bothered to look.”

Sam felt his eyes widen and his stomach jump with excitement. “It’s mine?”

Azazel looked up after lighting the cigarette “Yeah, sure is, princess.”

Sam totally ignored the name, unlocked the door and slide into the driver seat. Practically feeling up the steering wheel, biting the inside of his cheek when he almost cooed at the car. That was completely Dean’s fault. Azazel got into the passenger seat, pushing on the radio. The Pixies blared through the speakers and Azazel just laughed as he opened the small glove box going through the huge collection of 6 tapes Sam kept in there. The albums ‘The Wall’ and ‘Division Bell’ by Pink Floyd were two of them, the one in the cassette player ’Doolittle’ , ’Aladdin Sane’ by David Bowie as the most used one. The other two being mix tapes. 

Yellows eyes gleamed with amusement and the older man chuckled “And you give Dean a hard time.”

“Shut up.” Sam said, pulling out his own cigarettes and lighting one, then shifting gears to drive and pulling out of the storage. 

“You ready for the whole of Lawrence to see your car, Sammy boy?” 

Sam scrunched up his nose “You don’t have to say it like he’s gunna be a whore.”

Azazel flat out laughed “You, you are _worse_ then Dean.”

Sam scoffed, turning up the song ‘Tame’ and driving further into town, heading for the Pie Chart. He hoped his brother wasn’t at the auto shop yet. He didn’t want to explain. About the car _or_ Azazel. 

“What am I supposed to do exactly? ‘Hey Gabriel, c’mon let’s go for a drive in my car in a non-weird or creeperish way.’” Sam grumbled when they turned down the street the shops were on, flicking his dead cigarette out the window. Azazel squinted at Sam “Have you never asked someone out?”

“Uhm, well, not-”

“You’ve only picked up guys at bars.” Azazel offered, putting his cigarette out in the ash tray and Sam’s mouth twisted to the side but he nodded.

“I’ve never… It was just… it was never something I wanted. Relationships.” he shrugged as he parked the car in front of the bakery. He took the key from the ignition and groaned. “Why am I even doing this? I barely know the guy.”

Azazel watched Sam talk to himself about all the logical reasons why he shouldn’t be doing this. He debated lighting another cigarette as Sam put the key back in the ignition. He sighed and took the key out and put it in his pants pocket, opened the door and got out. “C’mon, Sammy. I need coffee.” he stated and walked into the Pie Chart, scanning the customers and smirking when he saw a blonde with the type of stance that screamed 'smartass' bereft what Azazel guessed was his brother about too much alcohol behind the counter and a skinny kid who smiled widely at Azazel. Sam came up behind Azazel looking sick to his stomach and he fought down the laugh bubbling in his throat. 

“It’s a drive, Sammy, not your wedding.” he joked, that only made what little color Sam had drain away completely. Azazel watched as Gabriel saw Sam and gold eyes widened. Oh, this was going to be fun. He licked his lips and slid an arm around Sam’s waist. 

Sam barely stopped himself jumping away. “What are you doing?!” he hissed at Azazel. Yellow eyes assessed the golden ones narrow in jealousy. Fun, indeed. “Oh, I just need to see something, Sammy boy.” he murmured and sure enough Gabriel snuck out from behind the counter and made a beeline for them. He watched Sam start rubbing his scar. He shook his head and grabbed Sam’s wrist “Don’t. He’s not going to bite. Well… at least I don’t think so.” Azazel knew he was going to be challenged just in the way Gabriel walked. Purposefully and possessively. Good. “Hey kiddo. Whatcha doing here?” the man asked and Azazel smiled at him, showing teeth. He saw a flash of a snarl across the rather pleasant face. Well, then. He retracted his arm.

Sam tripped over his tongue and the words came out stuttered. Azazel rolled his eyes. “Well, I don’t know about you two but I need coffee.” he stated, glaring at Sam as he walked to the counter.

Gabriel’s tense figure relaxed immediately. “Hiya, Samsquatch.” and Sam wondered when everybody decided to give him nicknames, although he kinda like that one. Or maybe just the mouth it came out of. 

“Who’s the guy pawing you?” Gabe asked and Sam suddenly hated Azazel. 

“He’s uh… my old roommate.” Sam muttered and watched Gabriel frown a little 

“Roommate like boyfriend?” Gabriel questioned and Sam choked on his spit 

“What?! No. No, it was never like that. He just… it‘s kinda a long story.” Sam shrugged, rubbing his hand. 

Gabriel splayed a palm on a nearby table, supporting his weight on the table and smirked “Well, I’ve got time.”

“Actually…” Sam was having trouble getting his lungs to cooperate. “Uhm you wouldn’t -I don’t know- want to go on a drive, right? No, ’course not.” he ran the words together a bit and his palm protested the pressure he was putting on it. 

Gabriel’s hand slipped from position and found himself going for the floor, before strong arms wrapped around his chest and waist and pulled him back upright which incidentally put Gabe nose to nose with Sam and sparking hazel eyes. His gaze drifted to the lips at his eye level, if he could just stretch up, his own would brush against Sam‘s. They lingered like that until they both heard laughing from Balthazar and Azazel from opposite sides of the room. Gabriel practically pushed Sam away and the Winchester blushed and couldn’t help think about how easy it was to catch the man and pull him to close or the sharp tug on his ribs when the blonde tore away from the embrace. “Sorry.” he whispered his apology. Subtly, shifting his jeans.

“No, no, no!” Gabriel objected quickly then shut his mouth before opening again “It’s fine. And, yeah. I’d love to go on a drive.”

Sam pressed his lips together and his eyebrows bended down “With me?” he said, just to be sure. 

“Yeah, Sammykins, with you.” Gabriel smirked

Sam smiled widely and shoved his hands into his pockets, feeling keys Azazel must have slipped in there when his hand had been around Sam’s waist. He glanced in the man’s direction, he was at a small table with a coffee, yellows eyes gleamed madly and a hand waved goodbye. Sam’s gaze returned to a butterscotch survey and felt his heartbeat speed up.

Gabriel quirked his eyebrows “Are we taking your brother’s car?” he asked 

Sam opened the coffee shop door for Gabe as he walked out into the summer heat. “No, we’re taking mine.” he answered. Again opening the passenger door to the SS for Gabriel. 

Gabe whistled before he got in “Nice car, Samsquatch.” he looked up at Sam when he closed the car door. “Such a gentleman.” he teased and Sam’s face flushed as he got into the driver seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehehe camaro! and Gabe being all posessive of Sam :) what? sorry. yay a date!!


	21. I Thought Only Women Lied About Their Age

The car, being unknown, was repeatedly stared at when Sam drove by and he just wanted to be past the town border already. Gabe was smirking at the radio; ‘Doolittle’ had been replaced by the B-side of ‘The Wall’. Sam shot him a glance then turned up the volume “Hey You” gliding through the speakers. 

Gabriel grinned at him, his heartbeat picking up when Sam returned it. Gabriel swallowed down the nerves and asked “Favorite album by them?”

Sam rolled his tongue around his mouth before deciding, “It’s a tie, actually. Either the First 3 Singles or Division Bell.”

Gabriel’s features had that soft glow of surprise. “You’re the only person I know who’s ever picked something besides “The Wall” or ‘Dark Side of The Moon‘.”

Sam shrugged and pink touched his cheeks “Well, I mean, I do like this album and…“ Sam made motions with his hand to indicate the other album “I even have a tattoo for Dark Side of the Moon. But … It’s not something I would pick for…I don’t know.” he didn’t have a firm grasp as to why he preferred those albums and trying to explain it was akin to explaining who Elrond was to someone who’s never heard of The Lord of the Rings. 

However, Gabriel just seemed amused “Very eloquent. I am in awe of your appraisal.”

“Shut up.”

“Where are we going?” Gabriel questioned as the streets turned from shops to small houses and eventually, fields. Endless fields. 

Sam smiled but did not answer, he could feel Gabe’s eyes on him, questioning and curious and excited. Much like his stomach, which happened to be hiding in a very deep well at the moment. His organs were in a constant state of rebellion. He turned down an old dirt road.

“So, roommate?” Gabriel prodded but butterscotch eyes were scoping the landscape, appearing disinterested and bored. Sam could practically drown himself in the jealousy oozing from the question. His stomach suddenly switched to warm and tight whereas his heart had gone on a sprint all by itself, obviously desperate to win the Gold this time. He _liked_ it. Not necessarily making Gabe jealous, more of that Gabriel was interested enough to _be_ jealous. If that made sense. Sam wasn’t sure if it did.

“His name is Azazel.” Sam offered slowly, gauging his words. Gabriel was the first he had even tried explaining this to. Gabriel’s gaze on him meant that the blonde had probably realized this. 

Gabe waited and Sam felt more insecure about it. Then Gabriel perked up “How about this, you go then I’ll go.”

Sam was hungry for information, so he tried again. It was easier knowing he wouldn’t be told that he had made a giant mistake in befriending Azazel. “He… He was in prison.” Gabe said nothing, eyes eager for Sam to continue. Sam spared him a look, relieved when no horror was present in the angles of the man’s face. 

“I was… wandering, I guess you could say. It was about three years after I had dropped out of Stanford and any contact with my family was sparse. Dean called a few times but I usually let it go to voicemail. I was sketching for a logo company, freelance. The pay was shitty and I lived with four other people. I still can’t remember their names. Anyway, I was in bar one night and he was there.” Sam licked his lips and swallowed, keeping his gaze pointedly away from Gabriel’s for the next part. “I hit on him.” he could practically feel Gabriel’s shoulders sag.

“But… he wasn’t-isn’t into that. I mean, he’s asexual. So, sex wasn’t ever in the picture.” and for fucking hell’s sake Sam had no idea why he was telling Gabe any of this. He wasn’t even sure how he had got a date with him in the first place. 

In addition, Gabriel was just sitting there, emotion no longer readable, he caught Sam’s gaze “You don’t need sex for a relationship.” 

Sam sighed, “I know. But it wasn’t ever like that. The most intimate thing he ever did for me was…” now Sam did pause. How much did he want to tell Gabriel? How far was he getting in here? Dean might be one to dive head first but Sam had learned better over the years.

His foot pushed on the gas pedal a little, the car revving further into life and Gabriel put a hand on his thigh, ducking his head so Sam could see him. “You don’t have to bleed dry, Sam. Whatever you want to tell me is fine.”

Sam stole an empathetic glimpse and a curt nod. “I …uh… lived with him, worked with him for around four years, give or take a couple months. Dean called one night and I finally answered. He wanted me to move back here and Azazel told me to go. It was… strange. Coming back. For months Dean coddled me, I didn’t mind. But I kinda went from slight dependency on one to being crowded by ten. And it just seemed like I wasn’t allowed to have anything private…it was just strange. You know, besides Azazel and War, you’re the only person who’s been in this car.” 

Gabriel looked at him, gaze softened and eyes went wide “Thank you, then.” 

“Heh, it‘s just a car.” Sam answered.

However, Gabe knew it wasn’t. “Still. Thanks, kiddo.”

After a few moments of just music, Sam spoke up again “So, uh, anything you want to share with the group? How about that Castiel and Balthazar were here for at least three months but I‘ve only met you…god, yesterday.” Sam asked, running a hand through his hair, unbelieving it had only been a day.

Gabriel looked unsure for a moment then nodded to himself. “I was in Nevsehir, Turkey, for a month, for my sister’s birthday. She …” Gabriel closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose before opening them again. “She has amnesia. She is stuck in a sort of loop. The same week replaying. Like that Adam Sandler movie. Every time I had a flight out… she would have an attack or try to…” then amusement flickered in his eyes “This one time Anna got past her nurse and hid out in these ruins about four miles away from the place she stays in. Cappadocia was one of her favorite spots before the accident.”

Sam nodded “Probably be mine as well. Underground cities are kinda of hard to beat.”

Gabe smiled at the fact Sam knew what Cappadocia was, what it had been but there was a hint of challenge there, and Gabriel wanted to see how many places Sam knew. “Oh, I don’t know. Lavaredo in the Dolomites has a pretty fantastic view.”

Sam shrugged “Well, if you’re talking view then, I’d be in Bonito. Anhumas Abyss, to be specific. The water there was so clear and one splash echoed for miles.”

Gabriel was practically vibrating with questions now but settled for only one “You’ve been I take it. When?”

Sam no longer seemed constrained in answering the questions “Oh, about a year or so after I dropped out. Went to Rio for Carnival but I never did stay for it, I got talked into going 236 feet down into cold water. We drove hours to get there. Ash, a guy that was a computer tech at Stanford was with us, he was the first in the water. Andy was too. Then it was a guy we had met, the one that talked us into going there. It was blue and there were these rainbow fish in the water that weren’t afraid of us at all. We stayed in Bonito for days, going back to the Abyss. The limestone water was always a different temperature when we got in and we got in daily. Nightly, too. Ash and Andy went back home after a week or so.”

Gabriel immediately caught the way Sam hadn’t said his own name. “Just them, not you?”

Sam pulled into a small gravel lot and removed the key from the ignition. “Nope. I stayed for 5 months.” he answered as he got out of the car.

Gabe frowned then got out as well “What? Did the guide have more to show you?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows and pushing down the second surge of jealousy blooming in him. 

Sam laughed, starting on a small trail that lead to a nearby wood. “No. Not really, Marco was straight. Although, there was this one night we had two bottles of bad tequila and he woke up next to me. We weren't naked or anything but niether of us could remember the night before.” 

Gabriel felt the envy subside and fell in step along side Sam on the small path.

Sam smiled, liking the feeling of ease they had slipped into. “So, Italy?” Sam asked, imagining the three crested peaks of Lavaredo.

The blonde nodded with a small smile on his face “I was pretty young, actually. Balthazar was barely nine. I was 14. I don’t think Cas was even with us in Italy. We went with Michael, he’s the oldest. It wasn’t really a kid safe activity and he actually lost us on the side of Monte Paterno, Bal was practically in tears by the time he found us but its easily one of the best memories I have of him.”

Gabriel watched as Sam tried to fight down a grin at the thought of small Balthazar crying for his big brother, Gabe didn’t try hiding his. 

“So, how old are you now?” Sam asked after they had reached the canopy of trees. 

“27.” Gabe lied, wondering if Sam would catch it.

He did and shot him a knowing look"Do you lie to yourself often?" he teased

"Oh, Yes." Gabriel answered in mock sobriety

“Mmhm. Well, I’m 28.” Sam responded, honestly.

Gabe grinned “Alright, kiddo. I’m 31, you happy?”

“I don’t really care about your age, Gabe.” Sam said, grinning.

“Where exactly are we going, here?” Gabriel asked, his hand brushed against Sam’s and the middle Winchester blushed as he slipped his hand into Gabe’s and laced their fingers up. Gabriel’s butterscotch eyes widen and he couldn’t help but inhale deeply.

“A place I haven’t been to in years.” Sam answered; quickening his steps as the trail winded around a bend, the path ahead blocked from sight. Gabriel matched the pace and loved the sudden endorphins humming through him.

“Ominous, much?” Gabe asked but adored that it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i get bonus points for so pretty awesome locals mentioned in this chapter.... I miss Bonito


	22. Cabin 9/3 Quarters

Sam stopped right after the curve, staring. 

Gabe looked and saw what they had driven out here for.

About fifty feet ahead of them was a perfectly hidden lake, shimmering with every shot of sunlight it could take and bordered by willow, maple, oak and even pine trees. But the scent that was in the air was oak, tainted only by the crispness of the mountain water run off. On the east end of the lake was a small house, like one might see on a beach. It was closed up but the blue paint had yet to chip and nature’s forces had let the small house remain untouched. In front of the house was a small pier and a lonely chair at the end. Gabriel looked toward Sam and there was a wide smile on his face like his childhood was no longer in danger.

“It’s _beautiful_ , Sam.” Gabriel breathed out when his gaze went back to the sight. Sam’s hand tightened in his own and Gabe wished the feeling in his chest would never leave.

“To be honest, I almost didn’t come here. I was afraid to see the place neglected or ruined. When I asked Dean a few days ago, he said he hadn’t been out here in forever. Said he liked to come out soon. Now, probably with Cas. I know for a fact that John hasn’t been here since I was 6. Come on.” Sam tugged on his hand so they both would continue down the path that hugged the lake and guided to the cabin.

Gabriel followed it excitedly, almost as much as Sam. When they reached it Sam pulled out his cigarettes holding onto the pack before pulling out his keys as well, they both stood at the door and Gabe smiled when he noticed Sam holding his breath as he unlocked the door.

Light immediately streamed into the dim house, showing a sheet covered sofa and small fire place, the sofa faced an empty stand. There was a doorway into what looked like a small kitchen and another one to a stripped bed with the covers folded into a square, waiting to be replaced back on the bed. There was also a small staircase up into a loft which had a bed, smaller than the other one but it could still hold two people. Covering the loft's walls were three bookcases filled the brim, the smell of old paper and ink permeated the cabin's air. Sam smiled softly as he walked in. Gabe followed watching memories pass over Sam’s face.

“We’re totally coming back out here and stocking up the fridge. I can hook the T.V. from my room up in here. The generator out back should work. Move half the movie collection here, up to the empty bookshelf.” Sam announced after a few moments, motioning to the bare fourth wall in the loft and Gabriel’s heart stuttered out.

“Oh, we are?” he asked.

Sam turned around to look at him; brows furrowed “I mean, you don’t have to. It was-” but Gabriel pressed a finger against Sam’s lips and watched as Sam went silent, his irises widened slightly.

“I’d like that.” Gabe answered softly, taking his finger away and slipped another two fingers into Sam’s belt loop, pulling forward and stretching up. He pressed his lips softly against Sam’s, not opening his mouth just putting slight pressure before pulling away and walking out of the cabin. He sighed happily then followed the dock out onto the water. He'd never done that before. Kiss someone just for the simple happiness of it. He ignored the chair, sitting down and crossed his legs, to take in the view.

Sam followed and pulled out a cigarette, lit it.

“So, how’d you start smoking?” Gabriel asked, patting the wood of the deck next to him so Sam would sit down.

Sam stopped mid-drag and pointedly blew the smoke away from Gabe “I can put it out if you want.” he offered, sitting down.

Gabriel remained silent, watching Sam, curiously as the taller man slipped his shoes and socks off. He pressed his lips together so the cigarette wouldn’t fall out of his mouth and rolled up his pant legs as well, he swung his feet over the dock and into the murky water.

“Not what I meant, Gigantor.” Gabriel explained.

Sam shrugged “I guess Azazel gave me my first four or so but I drove to Lawrence that same night and bought my own pack on the way. Reminded me of the jerk, I suppose. For awhile, it was bad; I was up to two packs a day. But after I started going back it lessened out. Now, I mostly do it for stress relief.” he clarified, his legs making circular motions in the sun kissed water

“I thought rubbing your palm was stress relief.” Gabriel answered, aware of how easy it would be to lean into the larger body next to him.

Sam froze, feet stilling, expression tight and unreadable.

Gabriel shook his head “It’s not a bad thing. We all have something, kiddo. Cas, well, he splurges on cheeseburgers like cows are a dying breed or gets lost in his stares. Bal starts scratching at his arm, but his track marks healed about a year ago. I’m sure you’ve noticed Dean do something.”

Gabe let out a silent thank you when Sam’s body relaxed into the previous ease.

Sam nodded “He taps his foot to silent music or he hums. When it’s really bothering him he repeats words excessively. There was a day, a couple weeks back, when it was really hot out and Cas had this sleeveless shirt on when he came up to Dean. I swear, he said ’Awesome’ at least eighty times in the conversation.” he laughed softly then looked toward Gabe “What about you? Huh? You got a stress signal?”

Gabe felt his stomach clench at the memory of Kali’s reaction. He blushed and reminded himself that Sam was nothing like Kali “For awhile I would carry candy around with me. In pockets, you know. Kit-kats and suckers. But then during a check-up my doctor said I shouldn't do it anymore, I could develop sugar diabetes. I was never too good at listening. But I ended up taking certain drugs and I stopped eating candy, the scare went away. Now, I uh …I focus on my surroundings, I guess that’s what you’d call it. The way the air smells or what the light catches. Sometimes sounds. Not voices, though. They just make me tenser. Some days, though, I could kill for a candy bar.” he waited for the strange look or even an insult.

But Sam only grinned “You mean like Sherlock Holmes?” he asked, looking quite fascinated by the thought 

“Yeah.” he laughed, letting out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

“Cool.” Sam replied, his feet repeating the circular motions from before.

“You mentioned going back. Going back where?” Gabriel asked, eyes glinting with fascination.

Sam was calm with his answer as though Gabriel had been his confidant all along. “Around Stanford. I go back to Azazel’s shop usually every month. Sometimes for a new tattoo other times just to get away from Dean’s mothering.”

Gabriel smiled at how Sam’s hand found his again. He started tracting the thorny stem of the rose with his thumb, liking the style of the tattoo. Early Ed Hardy, but Azazel's own touch had leeched on to the rose making it quite unique, he looked back up at Sam “I take it Dean-o and the Power Rangers have no clue you do this.”

“No. No, they don’t.” he laughed “It’s funny because Ruby gets offended. She knows I get my tattoos done then and she gets pissy ‘cause I don’t let her do mine even though I‘ve done all of hers. Heh, for awhile they were all convinced I was having a scandalous affair with a secret lover in Topeka.” he said, shaking his head and smiling like he’d never told this secret before.

Gabriel realized that’s exactly why Sam was smiling. He felt honored and a bit high.

Sam let go of his hand and wrapped his arm around Gabriel’s shoulder, pulling him into Sam’s chest and Gabe quite liked it there, thank you very much.

Gabriel had his eyes shut when Sam nudged him, he opened them slightly to look up at him and saw his frankly hypnotic gaze glued to the other side of the lake. Gabriel followed the hazel stare and saw a doe and her fawn at the water’s edge. The fawn wading into the lake a ways while the doe ate the long grass on the bank. It all felt a touch surreal.

Sam’s phone ringing broke the peaceful silence and the doe nudged her fawn back into the forest. Sam sighed when he saw it was Dean calling, he looked down into Gabriel’s eyes then back at his phone. He pushed the red phone and slipped his phone back into his pocket. 

Not two minutes later Gabriel’s rang, it was Cas. Sam quirked an eyebrow and Gabriel couldn’t help but mumble “What have they gotten into now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Kay so I took Dean's dream sequence lake and made it into a thing. if you were wondering.


	23. Maybe We Did Rush In

Cas watched as Dean threw his phone toward the nearest wall and he frowned at his lover when he started pacing Cas‘ kitchen while Balthazar looked on, clearly amused. Dean glared at Bal “Do you have nothing better to do?” he shouted and Bal put up his hands in defense

“I just live here, sweetheart.” Balthazar answered, propped against the door way. 

Cas’ frown deepened then pulled out his own cell and dialed Gabriel on speaker phone, an annoyed voice answered “Did you idiots already burn down Lawrence in the small span of one hour we happened to be away?” his older brother snipped.

Cas watched Dean’s face contort with anger “We? What do you mean, ‘we’, Gabriel? You’re with Sam? Why?” 

“I’ll give you three guesses.” Balthazar teased, taking a kettle of tea off the stove when it began to whistle softly. He retrieved an elegant teacup from a wooden cabinet and poured the contents of the kettle into it.

Dean looked toward Cas “Did you know they were together?”

He knew it would only upset Dean further and Cas hesitated before nodding slowly “Yes.”

Balthazar rolled his eyes as he retrieved cream from the fridge and poured a small amount into the cup before returning the small carton.

Dean glared then jerked the phone out of Castiel’s hand “Sam?! Why the hell didn’t you answer me?” 

There was a pause, a small beep to alert Cas that Gabriel had also turned on the speaker and Sam’s weary voice answered “Because we- you know what? I don’t have to explain anything to you, okay, Dean? I’m not 12. Now, what’s so important?”

“John is driving to your younger brother‘s house. Adam isn‘t answering his cell phone.” Cas answered before Dean could and returned the heated gaze Dean gave him.

“That’s not surprising.” Sam answered but the flicker in Dean’s green eyes meant they were having this conversation now. With all of Cas’ brothers present. Ideal, isn’t it? Castiel was going to throw up.

“Maybe I made a mistake.” Dean practically growled.

Cas wasn’t about to argue with him, if Dean couldn’t trust him then “Perhaps.”

“Uhm, guys?” Gabriel asked

“So, what? I was just a quick fuck for you? Huh? What you said-what I said- carried no meaning for you?” he said, taking a step toward Cas but stopped when Balthazar’s stance switched to protective. Still quite menacing even with a flowered teacup in his hands. Even Kansas lifted his head to growl lowly from his poistion by the back door.

Cas frowned, his chest constricting “They meant everything to me. And we didn‘t -as you so eloquently put -fuck.”

Balthazar looked extremely uncomfortable but wasn’t about to leave Cas alone with Dean and the other end of the phone line was a series of hissed ’I don’t know.’, ’What the fuck happened now?’ and ’Stop groping at me’ before Gabriel squeaked a disturbed noise “Okay. Yeah, little bro. I don’t want to know about you and Ken doll‘s sex life.“ and Sam made an agreeing noise. 

“What am I supposed to think, here, Cas? She was all over you!” Dean started shouting again.

“OHHH!” came from the other end of the line and Cas wasn’t quite sure as to who said it. 

Was it really so hard to put a little faith in him? What exactly had he done to make Dean think he would just betray him so easily? His stomach roiled at the very thought. So did the fact that Dean didn’t trust him at all.

“What are you supposed to _think_ , Dean? What are _you_ supposed to think?! I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware you were capable of that function.” Cas shouted back before he could stop himself and regretted it immediately when he saw the hurt in verdant eyes. 

Dean took another few steps before Balthazar got in between the two “Alright, now, you-” he said pointing at Dean “-have a little brother that is going to possibly need protection from your insane father. So, can you both please, for the love of all that’s holy, store your lover’s _misunderstanding_ in a goddamn freezer?! Gabriel, haul ass, yeah?”

“No, yeah, we’re already in the Camaro.” Gabe answered and the muffled sound of Sam cussing about secrets and tweaking perfection.

Dean paused “What Camaro?”

There was silence before two voices started overlapping in argument. Finally Sam’s voice came through “We’re on our way.” and then the line went dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I wish I had done it all cut and dried and happy but i just couldn't. My apologies here.


	24. Angrophobia

Sam hung up before Dean could ask anything else. He shot a look to Gabe and the blonde sent a shy smile, sliding closer next to Sam, the older car having no divider between seats, Gabriel could sit on him and not be uncomfortable. Sam swallowed hard but Gabe settled for just Sam’s arm around his shoulder. “Sorry, kiddo.” he said, quietly, eyes cast downward.

Sam suddenly felt like the bad guy, here. Which he wasn’t. In any conceivable way. Butterscotch eyes wavered and so did Sam’s pride. “Nah, it’s fine, they would’ve found out eventually.” he answered and immediately felt Gabriel snuggle closer into him. He bit down a smile.

“So, what do you think happened?” Gabe asked

And Sam shrugged “I don’t really know. From what I heard, it sounded like some girl was on Cas and Dean, being Dean, didn’t find out anything other than that and exploded. I’m betting he didn’t even give Castiel a chance to explain. But, you kept trying to basically climb me for the phone so I couldn‘t really hear them.”

“No offense, Samsquatch, but your brother seems like a douche.” Gabriel said, worry etched into his features.

Sam sighed “He’s just scared. Although he’d go to hell before he’d admit it. Cas wouldn’t be the first to just …” Sam felt his stomach twist, his brother had looked so happy last night with Cas. Why couldn’t that just last for one fucking time in his life? “He just doesn’t know anything different than-”

“No, I understand.” Gabriel cut him off and Sam hated that he understood. Sam pulled him closer, looking down into his flickering gold eyes.

“They’ll work out. I don’t care if I have to lock them in a closet, they _will_ work.” He whispered, hovering over Gabe’s mouth but not dipping down far enough before pulling away to watch the road. Gabriel leaned his head against him, huffing “Tease.” 

He smiled as the Camaro hit pavement once again.

\----------------------------------------------

Cas had yelled.

He had yelled. He hadn’t in so long. Dean was right to be angry with him. His lungs were beginning to refuse air, he breathed slower.

Balthazar stood completely still, no one had moved in the last five minutes. Dean glaring daggers at Cas while Cas looked completely exhausted, depressed and about to pass out. Bal breathed in through his nose. He couldn’t believe he was about to do this. He looked at his little brother and sighed “What _exactly_ happened?” 

Dean’s jaw tightened “Meg was kissing him.”

Balthazar frowned at Castiel fastly growing pallor “Cassie?” he asked, Meg had done this shit before and Cas never reacted. At all. He just told her he didn’t like her like that. She didn’t really seem to care what he said. 

Bal knew his baby brother had a hard time rejecting people, didn't do arguments, preferring to just leave the room. Michael and Lucifer did that to people. Amsterdam had only helped feed Cas’ fear. And it had done a double on a young, uninhibited, Castiel. Balthazar had gone to get his brother back because Raphael had complained the younger was disgracing the family name. Instead of doing what he had been told, he ended up getting the three of them disowned. Gabriel said it had been worth it, Cas wouldn’t speak for months convinced it was his fault no matter how much Balthazar took the blame.

“Castiel?” he probed again and sad blue eyes gave him this self-pitied-glance. He heard car doors closing and hoped Gabriel could once again bail Cas out of something he didn’t deserve. Or maybe Dean could. 

“I told her I was with someone.” Cas mumbled and Gabriel and Sam walked in through the back door, Kansas licking happily at Gabe’s hand and sniffing furiously at Sam before yipping with excitement. Gabe shot Sam a confused glance but Cas gave the answer “He smells Jovi, his sister.” he said, like it was quite obvious. 

“Cas? Cas, then what happened?” Balthazar asked, keeping him, regrettably, on the subject.

“She pushed me into the chair and straddled me.” he answered and Kansas came to whine at Cas’ feet. 

“What, Cas, can’t you say ‘no’?” Dean snarled and Sam got in front of him.

“Calm down. _Now_.” Sam growled back at his brother and Balthazar sighed.

“Cas, did you even tell him?” Bal asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Tell me what?” Dean asked, trying to move past the mass known as Sammy.

“I did not see a reason.” Cas muttered, staring into the very essence of their hardwood floors. 

“Will someone please tell me what the hell you‘re talking about.” Dean groaned 

“Oh, baby bro doesn’t do conflict.” Gabe answered, perched on the small table. “At all.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Dean said, throwing his hands in the air.

However, Sam was frowning “No, it’s not, Dean. It’s called Angrophobia. It means you can’t handle any anger. It can be your own anger or someone else’s, sometimes both. It’s not something you mess with. Negativity, basically bullying or criticism of major degrees can make people who have it go into horrible panic attacks. It…comes from a rough childhood. Domestic abuse or parents who yelled a lot.“ the room was silent; Bal and Gabe were closer to Cas now, big brother roles apparent. Cas looked so ashamed and Sam felt bad, he glared at Dean. ”If they can’t get the person to stop being aggressive and they can’t just leave, they shut down. They’ll even stop talking. It’s not his fault. That’s also why you should calm the fuck down.” Sam poked at his brother’s chest rather hard to emphasize his point.

Dean suddenly looked guilty and tried to move past Sam again but yet again Sam stopped him. “Sam.” he grounded out but Sam wasn’t moving.

“Not right now. I’m sorry but not right now.” Sam said, brows furrowed and worry lines creasing his forehead, hand splayed on Dean’s chest to stop him from moving forward.

“It’s fine. I’m . . . fine” Cas muttered from across the room, he was pale and leaning against the counter.

“Yeah, not so much. You wanna sit down?” Bal asked wrapping a hand around his younger brother’s forearm so Cas wouldn’t fall over, the youngest Novak almost did anyway. Dean was past Sam in a heartbeat clutching at Cas and Bal let go.

Dean skimmed his hands over every part of Cas he could reach before cupping his face “Are you okay?” he asked, softly and Cas nodded,sucking in blissful oxygen, Dean pulled him into a tight hug and the other three occupants of the kitchen looked away, awkwardly. 

“I’m sorry.” Dean kept whispering over and over. Cas just held onto him, face buried into Dean’s neck, breathing evenly. 

After a few minutes of silence, Sam made a worried sound. “Shit, you guys. We did it again. We forgot Adam.”

“Yeah, you did.” they looked toward the back door, Crowley standing there looking much like a grim reaper, Gabriel falling from his perch. Crowley scowled “It’s not pretty, boys. Not one bit.”

Sam’s phone started ringing and thunder boomed through out the sky, shouting about the coming rain and lightning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm scared to get close and i hate being alone I long for that feeling to not feel at all the higher i get the lower i'll sink I can't drown my demons they know how to swim.... sorry bmth's can you feel my heart was like on repeat for the last three chapters.


	25. Isabella Would Be A Great Wife

Gabriel grimaced at Sam from his spot on the floor. Everything pounding against his eardrums. The cell that was ringing that no one wanted to answer. Castiel’s deep breaths. Dean’s whispered apologies. Crowley’s huffed words still echoing in his ears. Sam reached a hand down and he accepted it, standing up, when Sam let go, the middle Winchester started digging into his palm.

Balthazar’s hand was tense, his fingers curled so he wouldn’t itch. His arm felt like a healing wound that just started to scab over. His bloodstream craving something long since cleansed from his system. “Give me the phone.” he twitched and Sam looked toward him, out stretching his hand and the phone. Bal took a breath, forced the itch out of his mind and hit the green button “Hello, hello, Isabella. Time to pick you up already?”

There was indistinct yelling from the other side of the line but Balthazar only looked amused “Oh, calm down, love. It’s not _that_ late. We can still make the late viewing; I’ll even give you a free pass on the blow job, whaddya say, poppet?” 

Crowley’s jaw dropped and Gabe choked. 

Sam was too stunned to make a grab for the phone and Dean was a little busy sucking face with Cas. Gabe started giggling. “Balthazar, you stupid bastard.” he hissed.

More unintelligible yelling “Well, It’s not that I don’t love you, sweetie, but if you call me that again I’ll go back to Justine. She’ll always cherish me.” Balthazar quipped 

Violent cussing. Bal just raised an eyebrow “Why aren’t you this vocal in bed, love?”

A frustrated explanation that this was not Isabella and the question of where exactly was Sam. “Oh, darling. If you’ve changed your name again you could just tell me. There isn’t any Sam here. I don’t understand why you’d think I’d just cheat on you like that.”

Dean and Cas had realized what was going on. Dean looked in a panic and started grabbing at the phone; Balthazar proceeded to get up on the small table, standing. “Shhh!” he shushed at the room, hand covering the mouth piece of the phone. 

“What do you mean? John?” Bal said, faking a look of confusion “Was the surgery this week? I thought it was next month. We’ve been over this, I’ll still love you no matter what’s down there, babe.”

Sam started laughing, he was going to be yelled at and possibly disowned or maybe John would think he dialed a wrong number either way Sam was laughing so hard it _hurt_. His ribs ached and his stomach protested but he just couldn’t stop.

“What do you mean wrong number? Isabella! I don’t care if some bitch named Ruby attacked you! You were going to tell someone else this?! We are over, you slut!” he yelled into the phone than jabbed at the red phone, ending the call. Balthazar bowed to his fast growing respective family. “Thank you, I do week nights.” 

Sam was still laughing, his face wet with tears. Dean’s face was in his hands and Gabe still chuckled every minute or so, Cas just looked overall amused and worried.

Crowley shook his head “And to think. All that without a single drop of alcohol.”

Balthazar smirked “Now, who ever told you that?”

Dean sighed “I don’t think this could possibly get any worse.”

Castiel made an anxious sound “Don’t say that.” 

The outside suddenly darkening with pouring rain. Dean frowned at Sam who had diffused into small giggles while Gabriel poked at his ribs. “Sam.”

“No, I know. Adam and Sammy.” he said trying to make a straight face but Gabriel found a sensitive spot and made his face contort with the bottled laughter.

“Sam!” Dean tried firmer only making his brother go back into hysterics “Why aren’t you this vocal in bed?” Sam snorted and Gabriel laughed.

Sam’s eyes narrowed playfully at the small blonde “Are you laughing with me or at me?” he asked returning the earlier tickles to Gabriel’s ribs.

Gabe tried pushing Sam's hands away “I’ll take ‘both’ for 3,000, Jim.”

“Hey! We have shit to do, stop acting like highschoolers!” Dean yelled 

Cas frowned “I’d say the age group is lower.”

Gabriel scowled “See if I come when you call next time, Cassie.”

Crowley rolled his eyes “Although it sickens me to say it, I agree with Dean. We have to go get Samandriel from Topeka, find a place he can stay and we also need to find Adam a fake wife for the next three days. Oh yes and Moose, we have to bail your business partner out of jail on assault charges.”

Sam finally calmed down and nodded but Gabriel grinned mischievously “How about Isabella? I think she'd make an excellent wife.” he said, not so innocently and they both started laughing again.

When Sam could breathe again, he shook his head at Crowley “You came in here acting like John had caught my little brother with his pants down. I can handle a few assault charges for Ruby; I’m friends with the judge.”

“Wow, that didn’t sound a bit like blackmail.” Bal said, sipping his now cold tea

“You would know, wouldn’t you?” Gabriel teased, opening the fridge and getting out three beers, he threw one to Dean, who caught it deftly. Sam reached around from behind Gabe to tug the cold bottle out of his hand. Gabriel bit the inside of his cheek, Sam had barely touched him and yet here he was. Achingly, fully, hard. He couldn’t open his own bottle fast enough.

Sam smiled slyly and wrapped his lips around the end of the bottle, tilting it back so the liquid could rub it’s way down his throat.

Gabriel sat down at the small table, avoiding Sam’s gaze. He cleared his throat “So, uh, who’s doing what, here?”

Dean shrugged “I know a couple girls that owe me some favors.” Cas scowled at that.

Balthazar finished his tea then offered “Samandriel is welcome to stay here. There’s a guest room upstairs and down.” Gabriel nodded his agreement.

“I can get him.” Sam said after taking sip “Got a full tank of gas.”

Gabriel’s golden eyes shone with eagerness and excitement “I’ll come with. Keep ya company.”

“Sure you will.” Dean muttered then confusion overtook his face “I’m sorry, what? What car, Sammy? Where did you get a car?”

Sam downed another swallow “My car. I got it while I was in Stanford.”

“I’ve never seen it.” Dean retorted

“Mmm. I keep it in a storage locker on the outside of town.”

Dean pushed his tongue into his cheek and nodded “Huh. What kind?” he said, like there was no way Sam could have a good car.

“’68 Camaro.”

Dean’s eyes widen “The SS?”

Sam smiled smugly and nodded before standing, he looked to Gabriel "It's only a thirty minute drive so we'll leave at midnight 'cause Sammy stays late every night, we'll might make it back before the sun comes up but Sammy could want to go back to their apartment, it could be all night. We might have to stay the night. You sure you want to come?

Gabriel smirked, nodding. Sam was confused when his stomach squirmed. It was weird. He had said they’d be spending the night together in Topeka but it had never crossed Sam’s mind about taking advantage of that. Sure, he had thought about sex with Gabriel, it was a little hard not to. Topeka just wasn’t the place where he wanted to. Not with Gabe. For the life of him, he didn’t understand _why_. All he knew was he wasn’t going to. No tonight. Not yet.

Gabe left the room and came back with a duffle bag slung over his right shoulder and a grin plastered over his face. He put it down by the back door, Kansas curiously sniffing at it before deciding it wasn't a threat. Dean’s face had adopted that worried look as if his brother was about to lose his innocence. Sam rolled his eyes, “I'm going go bail out Ruby.” he stated, getting up and walking to the back door, Kansas following him. After he was outside, he was half way to the gate and to his car when Gabriel walked out, looking nonchalant. Sam stopped and grinned at him.

He walked back over to him and stopped merely inches away from his face. He leaned down a little but paused.

Gabriel let out a puff of air again "If you're goi-mpfh" Sam's mouth over his cut him off and he smiled into the soft lips. It was the same as the cabin, mostly pressure but no hunger, no urgency. Just a simple crush of lips and something else. Something neither one of them could identify.

When Sam pulled away, Gabriel looked pleased but also frustrated. "You, Samuel Winchester, enjoy it." he announced, pressing an index finger into Sam's chest. Sam smirked and turned, walking back towards his car.

"What is it, exactly, that am supposed to enjoy? Besides you, I mean." he asked, unlocking his door and sliding in, as Gabriel walked to the gate.

"Being an insufferable tease." he countered and Sam twisted the key, the engine turning over and purring to life. "I'll see you at 12, Fun Size." Sam winked, before driving off. Gabriel stood there till the Camaro was out of his sight line and even then his smile didn't go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I haven't been giving you lot a bunch of chapters lately and i'm sorry but hopefully I can start writing more faster but until then I drew Sam all tatted for you guys here----->http://colorfullyfuckedazazel.tumblr.com/post/91177737583/okay-so-remember-that-au-i-was-writing-with-sam


	26. Death and A Demon

Sam pulled up next to courthouse, he’d ‘post the bail’ then go pick up Ruby. He got out of the car and walked up the marble steps, smiling. The air condition blasted him as soon as he opened the door; he walked up 12 steps and made a right. He entered a small office and a man looked up from papers, black eyes flashing with recognition over half-moon glasses. “Sam.” he said, returning his gaze to the documents.

“Hello, Death” Sam returned sitting in a leather chair and gave a charming smile. The man spared him a glare before his pen started scribbling furiously on the paper.

“I thought we agreed you wouldn’t refer to me as that anymore. Dean, I can understand, his impulse control needs construction.” he said, setting down the gel pen, taking off the glasses and leaned back in his chair to look at Sam. “What is it now?”

Sam smiled tightly “Ruby.”

“Ah, yes. She does have a certain problem with attacking people. Even if it is John Winchester.” the judge said, opening a drawer in the giant elm desk and pulling out a file. “You do realize I’m not the one you give bail to.” he said raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, but, I’m going to Topeka tonight.” Sam baited

The man’s eyes peered at him. “It’s a federal offense to bribe a judge, Sam.”

“Really? Even with Shroud’s fried chicken?” Sam asked innocently, keeping the smile off his lips.

“I think you know the answer.” he paused then smiled “I’ll make you a deal. Tell me why you’re so ecstatic and I’ll give you the file.” he offered

Sam looked away for a moment “Why do you want to know?”

“It can’t be that bad …or good. If you’ll remember I’ve seen your worst and your best.” the man said calmly, waiting.

But Sam started rubbing his palm and black eyes narrowed “You haven’t gotten in trouble again?” the man asked, sounding rather irritated “I would’ve thought Brazil would have taught you that lesson.”

Sam’s eyes shot back to the man and Sam’s palm was relieved of pressure. “It’s not anything like that. It’s just….god, between you and Azazel it’s a wonder I have anything secret.” he huffed before sighing “I went on a date.”

The man look so amused and smug Sam wanted to punch him.

“Ah. Tell the psychiatrist to seek professional help and we’ll call ourselves even. Well, have a nice trip.” the judge said, standing and leaving the room. Leaving Ruby’s file on the desk.

Sam rolled his eyes. The Judge and Azazel got along better than most that knew of Sam’s ….crush. But it was like watching reruns of _Laverne and Shirley_ when all they did was fight the whole episode. It was a bit ridiculous, actually. He grabbed the folder and put it in the shredder. He stood and left the small office, going into what passed as an even smaller outer office. A pretty brunette and the judge were going over what looked like criminal charges before looking up at him. The brunette smiled and nodded to Sam, he grinned before winking at the Judge and walking out to his car.

Right after he exited the courthouse his phone beeped, telling him of a message. He fished out his phone and swiped through the unlock sequence.

Yellow Eyes: I thought you were on a date, not bribing corrupt officials.

Sam scoffed, this proving his earlier observations. He looked up and around but didn’t see Azazel anywhere. 

How the hell do you know where I am? Stalker.

He hit send and got back into the Camaro, the sheriff station a block away. He turned the engine over and hummed along with a random song on the radio, he didn’t check his phone till he got out again.

Yellow Eyes: The powers of the damned are literally endless, Luke. Join the Dark side.

Sam shook his head at the phone, delaying the reply. When he entered the station, there were two men in suits. Feds. Sam’s eyes immediately shot down to the floor and made the familiar path to Jodi’s office. He slipped in and closed the door behind him then peeked out of the shaded window, the sheriff looking amused at his antics and Ellen (her deputy) in a chair beside her, laughter in her eyes. 

“You know.” Jodi said, loudly and chuckled when Sam jumped “They aren’t here for you. And exactly why are you in my office in the first place? You know where the holding cells are.” she continued cleaning her gun, the room smelling of oil, white roses and used gun powder. 

“I don’t care if they not here for me, if they knew I was here-” Sam started but Ellen held up a hand to cut him off

“But they don't know. Keep it that way. Now go get Ruby. She comes in here all nuts, scaring the rookies to death with her threats.” she finished, smiling. Jodi nodded her agreement, the two being thick as thieves and closer than sisters, Sam felt safe. They had basically revived him, brought him back to the land of the living, as it was. He'd like to say they reminded him of Mary, but what scattered memories he had left of her were dim and fading fast.

He offered a small smile. But Jodi peered at him then gasped “You met someone!”

Sam was unable to fight off the shade of red he turned and started grabbing for the door handle, exiting into the bright incandescent light of the station, his eyes adjusting quickly and painfully. He headed over to the holding cells. Smiling at Rufus, who threw the keys to Sam without bothering to look up from his Thomas Harris novel, Sam smiled, he had watched _Silence of the Lambs_ all the time in college, Jess hated it and Ash didn‘t really get it and Brady...well, he wasn't going to think about Brady right now. But Sam had read all the books when he was little, a gift from Dean one birthday. One of the best gifts Dean ever got him, actually. 

Sam opened the last cell, Ruby was laying down on the old bunk and whistling “Perfect Strangers” Sam smiled softly “You didn’t even have a manic attack, did you?” he asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the metal frame of bars, Ruby turned her head to look at him and smiled, it was quickly replaced by a sneer at someone behind Sam. Sam didn’t even turn around. He knew who it was. “I didn’t come here to pick a fight with you, Walker.” he ground out; eyes focused on the grey brick walls. Ruby held the sneer in place, she got up and started walking toward the man behind Sam but Sam put his arm out and shook his head. “Not worth it.” he said, under his breath before turning and nodding at the stoic rookie and heading for the door. His phone vibrated again. 

Yellow Eyes: Well see, now, I’m just all shades of colorfully fucked.

Sam looked at the text skeptically before another came.

Yellow Eyes: I know what you are. What Gabriel makes you. Twitterpated.

Sam eyes widened, Azazel just referenced _Bambi_. He quickly typed out a text and sent it. 

Are you okay?

Yellow Eyes: I’m beautiful. Did you know Lawrence Memorial has excellent morphine? 

Sam stopped walking and pressed his forehead up against the cool wall and groaned into the empty hall while Ruby looked bored. “One day. One day where nothing goes wrong. Where I don’t have to take energy pills strong enough to keep a whale awake. Where I don’t have to bail my brothers out of another mess. Where I don’t have to bail _myself_ out of another mess. Where I don’t have to bail my best friend out of jail. Where I’m not hiding from John. Where I don’t have to see why my mentor is in the hospital. One fucking day where I can finally go on a goddamn date with a guy I actually like and not get a headache.” he said, emphasizing the word ‘where’ by hitting his head against the wall, methodically.


	27. Feels Trip, Have A Bucket

Sam kept hitting his head against the wall until it dimmed the throbbing of his headache. Ruby put her hand on her hip and sighed “C’mon, Sam. Charlie is the only one at the shop. Poor girl is probably flooded.”

Sam opened his eyes and glared at the white washed wall. “Honestly, Ruby, I couldn’t give a fuck. I have shit I have to deal with. I’ll just get Pamela or Jake to take over my gun for a few days, okay? Now, for the sake of my sanity, go away and take your medication.” he growled out before closing his eyes and hitting his head again. 

He felt a warm hand on his back and he stopped to look down at Ruby. Her eyes calm and easy, he immediately relaxed and she hugged him tightly. “It’ll be okay. He won’t be here long.” she mumbled into his chest and he couldn’t help but return the hug. She pulled away quickly, “You’ll be fine.” she announced firmly before turning and walking down the corridor, not one ounce of her step suggesting weakness. 

He smiled and shook his head. “Hell forbid Ruby should ever show any feeling.” he muttered to himself as he trudged to his car.

\--------------------------------------------------

Balthazar groaned loudly when Gabe ignored him again and Dean glared at him as the elder Winchester left through the front door but the middle Novak didn’t pay attention to him, it was Bal’s house, he’ll do what he wants and if that’s yelling at Gabriel then he’ll yell at Gabriel till he can’t breathe. “For fuck’s sake, Gabe! It was your turn! Now, they‘re bloody coming here!”

Gabriel looked unfazed by either of the two menaces of society and made his little brother sit down then went to look for the anxiety medication, Bal following him, grumbling about the coming family. Gabe paused in the hall and breathed deeply through his nose “I can handle Zachariah, you baby, any 12 year old could. Just be glad it’s not fucking Michael or Luke. You’d think disowned would actually mean disowned to the fucking dicks. Now, find Cas’ medication before I break into your wine cellar and smash every bottle.” he hissed at his brother

Bal glared back “It’s not just Zach, its Raphael. He’s coming here!” he’s worried and Gabriel knows that yet he can’t help but turn around to face him.

Bal swallowing at the anger and protectiveness in his brother’s eyes. It was so easy to forget Gabriel was the first to deal with Lucifer and Michael, the first to be left alone with the bastards. There was also that long period when Gabriel was off the face of the earth doing whatever he pleased to whomever he pleased.

“I heard you the first time you screamed it. Right after you listened to your motherfuckin’ voicemail. They aren’t coming for five days. Our little brother is close to having a panic attack _now_. Raphael isn’t coming any where near you or Cas. Now, get your ass in gear, Balthazar.” he snarled, pointing to Castiel’s room. He sighed heavily and full of worry. “He won’t come near either of you. I promise, Bal. I won‘t let him.” he reassured before going into the bathroom and searching through the orange bottles of medication in there. He found the bottle marked ‘benzodiazepines’ and jogged back to the kitchen. He took out one and poured a glass of water for Cas, handing the items to his little brother.

Cas looked better than before but not all the way back to normal; he accepted the pill and water, downing them both. “Thanks.” he wheezed out to Gabriel and Gabe offered a smirk. 

“Gotta stay healthy. That’s what you’re always telling me.” he grinned crookedly

Cas shook his head. He needed to say it. He put his hands on Gabriel's shoulders “Dusseldorf. Amsterdam. Thank you.” his voice graveled.

Gabriel tore away from Cas‘ vice like grip on his shoulders. “Stop. Don’t thank me. Don’t ever thank me. I never should have left you alone. Not with them. I should have known better. Look what they did to you.” he mumbled to a chair, not risking a glance toward Balthazar in the doorway or Cas in front of him.

Balthazar frowned at that “And look what they did to you, Gabriel. Look what they’ve done to Anna. To all of us. Don‘t you remember those Christmas parties Father would throw every December on the 18th and you and Anna would spike the punch and Castiel got locked in the closet? Or when Michael and Luke danced together because they were both blind drunk, do you remember the look on Father’s face? How utterly astounded and happy it was? Do you remember Gadreel pushing Metatron into that ridiculous koi pond Father insisted upon having because Metatron made Cas cry? Or Uriel cutting the electricity and scaring the shit out of that visiting Duke? We were happy, Gabe. We were normal. But it was never going to last. We were never going to be happy together. I knew that the day Father walked out. ”

Cas nodded “It wasn’t your responsibility to take care of us. It never was.” 

Gabriel shook his head “But it _was_. I was the big brother. I was the one who could take it. I was the one who was supposed to protect you. But I didn’t …. I ….couldn‘t _stand_ it in that haunted palace they called a home. He left. He wasn‘t supposed to leave. He wasn‘t supposed to…”

Castiel scowled and Bal glared “But he _did_. For whatever bloody reason, he did. If anyone was supposed to step up, to protect us, it was Michael. It was Luke. They were supposed to stand up but they didn’t. They didn’t and it broke us all. It’s the past, Gabriel. It’s not something we can fight or change; it’s a part of us. We can’t go back to that. We can’t ever go back to that Christmas. But with all our broken parts, we made it. We’re not living in the museum of our life anymore. They can’t make us go home. They can’t make us do anything. We’re not going back.” Balthazar stated, coming up and putting a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “But I’ll tell you something that we can do. Damn, what we’ve already done in only three months. We make a new family. We get to choose this time. We get to keep it. Because, by hell, we’ve fucking earned it. You two got to meet the Winchesters. Think of it that way, yeah?” he finished.

Gabe chuckled and no, his eyes were not watering. At all. Ever. He looked up at Balthazar “And what do you get? Huh?”

Balthazar smiled softly, opening the fridge and grabbing a Coke from behind a row of Pepsi, cracking the top and taking a swallow “You two guilt ridden idiots.” he teased but then went a touch serious “I got clean. I got a family, again.” he answered, walking into the living room, flopping down on the couch and turning on _Lost_.

Gabriel let out a shaky breath “Wow.”

“Indeed.” Cas agreed and Gabe rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, Spock, let’s go watch crappy T.V.” he said, getting up from the chair. 

Castiel's brows furrowed "But the bakery..."

Gabe scoffed "If you think you're going back to work you're mental. It's fine. Joshua is watching the shop, okay? His floral shop closed at five. Cassie, relax." he insisted as he went to join Bal on the couch and Kansas came in from the backyard to jump on the couch with them. Cas smiled, getting up.


	28. Did You Lose Your Sight As Well?

Even with four occupants the elevator was quiet, the silence interrupted by the occasional ding when they passed another floor. The doors slid open on the fifth floor and Sam made a face at the smell of disinfectant and penicillin. He shook his head, dismissing the memories trying to gather. He was here for Azazel.

Lisa was at the nurse’s station, typing out something into the computer. He walked up slowly and prayed she didn’t hold any ill feelings toward him. 

When Sam came back to Lawrence, Dean had dropped everything and stuck to Sam like tar. Impossible to remove. And by everything, he meant relationships. Which left Dean a crotchety jerk and no matter how Sam pushed that he was fine and could be left alone, Dean just smiled. Sam hated that smile. It wasn’t anywhere near the original, it was pained and split. Like John’s. Sam rolled a shoulder and cleared his throat. “Uh, did a guy with yellow contacts come in?” he asked.

Lisa looked up and her expression changed subtly but she nodded “Yeah, about twenty minutes ago. A contact got lost or broken, I think. Anyway, the doctor gave him morphine for the pain and told him to lie down for an hour or so, he has a pair of contacts next to the bed for when he’s not so buzzed. He’s in the second to last room. High as a kite.” she said stiffly.

Sam desperately wished he was at the moment. He thanked her and reluctantly headed for Azazel’s room. The door was cracked open and it was dark inside, light causing shooting pain for Azazel’s optic nerves. He entered, pushing the door back to its previous position after he was in the blackened room. “Azazel? Yellow Eyes?”

There was a giggle from the bed “Sammmmmyyyy. Tsk, tsk, you always care too much.” there was a pause but the statement clearly wasn’t done “About people who couldn’t care less.” the hyped man clarified, trying to stand.

“Ah. Well, what can I say? I’ve got a thing for crazy, heartless, bastards.” Sam said, rolling his eyes and pushing Azazel back down onto the bed.

Azazel protested but didn’t fight much “Hmpf, no. I don’t know. Maybe. I mean, Brady. Me. Is Gabriel on the list? I don’t think so. I don’t know. Tall, skinny and killjoy is finding that out now, can guarantee you that. Him and his background checks.”

Sam ignored the name he wanted to erase and sat down in the uncomfortable chair next to the bed. The more he tried, the more it was all he could think of. “First of all, Brady was just… He wasn’t…. you. Or Gabriel, for that matter. Second, I’m not discussing the Judge with you when you’re high.” he mumbled, the pads of his fingers pushing into his eye sockets. His headache was intensified by the unwelcome reminder of his college roommate.

Azazel was rotating his index fingers and humming some unknown tune before stopping and smirking “Defending his honor already, Sammy? My, my. Looks like I was right. Do …try. Try, Sam. It’s important that you try. Try this time.”

Sam shook his head. “You’re not making any sense. I‘ve tried before.”

Azazel rolled over to face him with an eerie stare “No. You’ve been used. Willingly. You haven’t tried. It wasn’t worth it to you. It is now.”

“You are being cryptic and weird. Morphine doesn’t bring out your good side, does it?” asked Sam, breaking the gaze.

“And we all know what brings out yours, don’t we, Sammy?” the man asked, trying to sit up again.

Sam shoved him back down, a bit more forcefully than necessary. “No. Not anymore.” he snarled, disagreeing with something that was unspecified. Perhaps all of it. “Sleep. Your Mustang is in the parking garage. I’ll see you tomorrow. Also I‘m using your hotel room to shower.” he said, irritated. He grabbed the hotel keycard from a plastic bucket of Azazel’s things and left the darkness.

The bright florescent hospital lights making all shadows disappear and Sam groaned when his phone started vibrating. Without bothering to look at the call name, he hit the green button.

“This better be goddamned important.” he answered, sharply.

“I’d say when some crazy bitch attacks me, it’s important.” John’s voice accosted his ears and Sam was so close to just hanging up right then. 

“Really? I thought you liked when women chased you.” he growled and his eyes went wide when he realized he said that aloud. Shit. Shitshitshitshit. 

“That’s no way to talk to your father.” John said, it was like he was begging for it and Sam wasn’t about to deny him.

He scoffed clearly into the speaker “Father? You’re fucking with me. You have no interest in being Dean’s or Adam’s or my father four out of five years and when you remember you have sons, you come and tell them what they are doing wrong with their lives and how disappointed you are. I’m sorry, but that sounds like a failed experiment, not your fucking family. I’m busy, _Dad_. So, by your leave.” he snapped then hit ’End’, shoving the phone into his pocket and stalking toward the stairs. 

Five flights down was his car and within two floors John had called him eight times. When he got into the parking lot, Dean called.

“What the hell did you do?” his brother asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Sam’s face went skeptical then amused “Are you hiding in the bathroom from him?”

“……No.” Dean denied.

Sam started laughing.

“Shut up. What am I supposed to tell him?” Dean hissed into the phone

Sam shrugged in the abandoned parking lot “Pft, like I know how to calm him down. Tell him I’m off my meds. Tell him the Devil made me do it. Tell him it’s that time of the month for me. I don’t fucking know Dean. I have a headache and I’m just so done with him right now. I have to drive to Topeka in two hours, remember?” he offered, unhelpfully, unlocking his car. “Hey, I got it. Tell him he’s been ruining all our lives and eating all our steak.” he added.

Dean sounded like he was trying not to laugh “Thanks, Sam, I’d be lost without your help.”

“Oh, I know.” Sam said mocking smugness before pressing ‘End’ again and taking out his cigarettes. Turning on the radio, Seeger filling the car, he flicked the lighter and watched as the end of the Marlboro glow with embers, he inhaled deeply. He took his phone off vibrate and let it fall into the seat next to him. The ache in his head went away slightly and he exhaled slowly. “Thank fuck for nicotine and Bob Seeger.” he muttered to the empty seat next to him, smiling at the memory of dancing, gold, eyes.


	29. Can You Feel Me?

Sam pulled into the parking lot of the Garden, a local three level hotel. Judging by the number on the card, Azazel’s room was on the third floor, Sam grabbed a duffel bag from the trunk that held three different pairs of clothes. He grumbled to himself in the empty elevator about annoying people. The elevator slowing and the doors opened for him, he stepped off and trailed into the hallway, the chlorine from the pool on the ground level deeply saturating the air in the hotel.

As he walked down the long corridor, his mind tugged back toward Gabriel. His eyes. His smirk. His sudden surprise when Sam kissed him at the house. Better yet, when he smiled into the kiss. Sam grinned and wiped a hand down his face as if that could take away the huge smile there. He swiped the keycard and the door made the electronic confirmation, clicking open for Sam. He closed the door behind himself, throwing the duffel on the nearest twin bed and peeling his shirt off and shirking his jeans down. Boxers half tented and Sam’s mind supplied more _help_. 

Sam’s fingers were itching to just pull off those long sleeved shirts Gabriel wore. His hands trembling with the thought of being able to trace the skin he would find under the covering. He licked his lips, the tattoos that could be under the shirt. Sam had a feeling the tips he could see of the wings on Gabe’s neck probably stretched into complicated designs, perhaps even more than just the simple set, maybe two or three pairs. Sam wandered into the bathroom, turning on the shower and removing his boxers before stepping under the hot, relaxing, water. Sam thought of how the wings would start right at Gabriel’s shoulder blades, his hand sneaking down to palm himself. Sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and biting at it, he stroked up, fingers catching softly for lack of proper slick. The way the texture of Gabriel’s skin would change if he ran his tongue over tattoo instead of the pure skin, the subtle roughness was exactly that. Subtle. You needed to be used to the feeling of it, to notice the slightly raised skin. Sam found both pleasing, but preferring to think how his tongue on Gabriel would make the intriguing man react.

That sparked his imagination into the process, wonder of what noises the smaller man would make. If he was loud with shattering moans. If he was quiet with well-placed whimpers. His hand sped up, the other dug into the side of his thigh, nothing else to cling to while his forehead pressed against the wet tile in front of him. His thoughts didn’t bother to slow down or offer him the slow laziness he usually had when jacking off. There was different material, a different person. A face he knew, had seen. Had tasted Gabriel’s lips and how badly he wanted to taste the rest. Oh, god, the _rest_. The implication in that alone had him fisting harder. His fingernails scratched up his thigh, the sensitive healing tattoo biting in response only made him shudder; thumb flicking over his slit and twisting the little amount of pre come down his shaft. His hips canted up into his hand and he let out a whined “Gabe.”

It was so effortless to image Gabriel’s cocky smirk in his mind, but now those lips were bright pink and stretched around Sam’s cock. The heated water from the shower easily turning into salvia and-fuck, Sam was so close; the hand abusing his thigh came up and cupped him. His grip now sufficiently slippery-god, if he could just- his finger squeezing lightly into his slit, making him keen against the shower wall. Drawing out another faint cry of “Gabe.” and suddenly the word ‘please’ popped into his head, but who was he to beg to? Himself? 

Not paying attention the fact that it had been so long since anyone could make Sam _beg_. He could feel his stomach coiling, warmth radiating in the pit of his stomach and just a few more well placed twists, he fisted harder and harder and-there. Teetering off the edge and falling hadn’t been this blissful in a long time, his hips stuttering with confusion as to if he wanted more or less. “Gabriel” he sighed as the last bit of come was wrung out of him. Covering his hand and stomach, most of it going down the drain with the swirling water. 

His headache was gone and he still leaned against the cold tile for support, his body limp and exhausted but contented sighs coming from his mouth. Sleeping with different people almost every night usually kept Sam’s libido sated, satisfied. When he did rub one off it was mainly ‘because he was extremely stressed or he hadn’t slept in days. What he just did though. That couldn’t be explained by either one of those reasons. Especially him calling Gabriel’s name like that, so desperate to please someone who wasn’t even there. 

Sam groaned softly shifting so the water spray went to his chest and stomach instead of his back like before. The soft beat of the water against him had turned slightly cold and he wondered vaguely how long he’d been in there but made no attempt to check the waterproof watch strapped to his wrist or start cleaning the rest of his come away. He was soothed by his thoughts skipping to each bit of Gabriel he could remember and the drum of the water was practically lulling him to sleep. 

The muted ringing of his phone made him open his eyes and sigh one last time before standing fully under the shower head, washing away the evidence of his session. He smiled slowly at the amusing thought before gripping a bottle of shampoo and squeezing out a small amount of the thick liquid. 

After he had worked the shampoo through his hair, rinsed, then repeated the action to the rest of his body with shower gel, he stumbled out into the steamed room and frowned at the absence of any towels. He exited the bathroom, going to his duffel bag and getting a pair of boxers, jeans and an old Buzzcocks t-shirt that was torn but comfortable. After he was dressed, he finally looked at his wrist, the clock glowing 11:48 at him. The missed call had been from Dean, a voicemail notification at the top of his screen. 

He dialed the automated answering machine and waited.

“Sam? I just… y’know….” the sound of his brother clearing his throat before the message continued “Be careful. Look, I know I wasn’t exactly …supportive about your date but, uh, Oh fuck this. Use a condom, alright?” the phone clicked off and Sam snorted. He was pretty sure Dean just gave him and Gabriel his blessing which was, older brother status notwithstanding, a moot point. He didn’t delete the ridiculous message though and shoved his dirty clothes into the empty part of the duffel. He slung it over his shoulder as he exited the room, the scent of chlorine almost knocking him to the ground in the hallway. He coughed slightly before heading to the elevator, smile playing around his lips.

His adrenaline had kicked in and the fact that he was spending the night with Gabe, sex or not, had him buzzing with excitement and nerves. He was in it deep here, wasn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ....uhm, oops? Not really sorry for this I was horny and oh well....


	30. Wake Up, You Have To Go Back To Sleep.

The leather of the steering wheel was soft and worn from the large hands that have been handling it, it was… stabilizing. Sam breathed in then let it out slowly, the expelled air trying to take his anxiety with it.

In the last few minutes of driving Sam had realized the one thing that was going to happen if Gabriel spent the night with him then his body had went into doing everything in it’s power to make him stop and have Dean pick up Samandriel. 

Who would not be freaked out by him thrashing in his sleep? His waking up breathless and scared to heaven and back? Or what if he woke up screaming tonight? Hell, to be honest it scared Sam more than anyone but there wasn’t much he could do.

Damn Azazel and his psychobabble. Sam frowned and his hands gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter as he neared the Novak house.

It was hard to tell which induced which. Did the insomnia make the nightmares? Or did the nightmares try warding off his sleep? His doctor didn’t know. Azazel didn’t know. Naomi wanted him to explain his nightmares to her. That hadn’t gone to well. Then she asked him again and … Falling wasn’t something he favored. Naomi said those attacks were normal. 

“She obviously never had one.” Sam muttered to himself.

Sam shook his head and turned on the radio, praying the music would clear his head. “Space Oddity” humming through the speakers as Sam pulled down their street.

He parked on the street, got out and went to knock on the door. He rapped his knuckles on the balsa wood of the door and a sleepy Gabriel opened it with a duffel slung over his shoulder, Cas and Balthazar were both asleep on the couch, a gaping space in between them where Gabriel used to be. Sam smiled softly as Gabe yawed, his hair ruffled and eyes drooping. “You know, it’s not mandatory for you to come. You can go back to sleep.” Sam offered, not exactly sure who for.

Gabriel shook his head “’M fine.” he said, leaning against the doorway, fighting to keep his eyes open.

“Gabe. Gabe, hey. It’s okay, just go back to sleep.” Sam tried again

Gabriel stood up fully and shook his head again. “No, Samsquatch, I’m up. I’m up.” he answered, fighting the sleep in his voice and walking down off the porch, toward the vague vicinity of the car. Emphasize on the word “vague“. 

Sam gently grabbed Gabe’s elbow and directed him to the passenger door, opened it and slid the half-awake man into the car. Sam took the duffel and put it in the backseat before getting in on the other side of the car and turning over the engine. Almost as soon as Sam was in the car Gabriel’s body leaned into his. Gabriel snuggled into the sudden warmth, not fully aware it happened to be Sam and huffed out a pleased breath when an arm encircled him, pulling him closer to the living heater. Sam rolled his eyes, letting the easy smile play around his lips as he pulled back onto the street.

After about ten minutes Gabriel opened his eyes, slowly coming out of the sleep coma he had been in to find himself basically crawling into the very essence of one Sam Winchester who didn’t seem to mind, mouthing lyrics to a fairly new punk rock song on the radio. It was easy to forget anything else but the man he was pressed into. He smelled good too. Like oak and sandalwood and vanilla. Gabriel closed his eyes again, trying to see if he could actually wriggle into Sam.

Now he had two choices, he could sit up and probably lose his position as human teddy bear and only get conversation in return or he could try having a muffled conversation with Sam’s ribs. “Where arf we?” he tried, deeming not to move.

Sam squirmed a bit, like he was trying to get away from the vibrations of Gabriel’s voice. “We’re on the freeway heading to Topeka.” he answered; his voice was calm and steady, a tie to the conscious world keeping Gabriel barely in it. It was different then when there were other people around, more relaxed and more peaceful. Gabe liked it, the soft baritone sliding over his ears and surrounding him.

“Why idn’t youf wake ’e?” he asked, nuzzling the ribs poking at him.

Sam practically jumped and made choked giggles before he answered “You were sleeping, I didn’t see the point.” 

Gabriel scrunched his nose and hummed, testing the reaction and Sam didn’t disappoint. He squeaked then glared down at Gabe. “Stop that.” he demanded, laughter lacing the firm voice.

“No.” he growled back and grinned against the fabric of Sam’s shirt when the taller man started laughing. 

“Gabriel. Sto-stop. I have to-hehehe-drive.” Sam tried again, slapping at Gabriel’s shoulder.

“’S not my fault your ‘icklish.” he responded, pushing his nose into Sam’s ribs again, Sam’s scent literally taking over everything else. It was nice. 

“G-haha-abe.” Sam protested through laughs and Gabe graciously stopped, snuggling into him again. 

“This is nof ov’r, ‘am.” he announced, determined, Sam only nodded, smiling.

“Yeah, sure, just go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there” Sam told but Gabe sighed and shook his head, sliding up till his head could rest on Sam’s shoulder.

“Nah, I’m awake now. How come you didn‘t tell me you were ticklish?” he asked, yawning.

“I didn’t know I still was.” Sam answered, turning the music down and twisting his mouth to the side. “About Samandriel… he does this thing…Uhm, well.”

“Don’t hurt yourself, Samsquatch.” Gabe teased, raising an eyebrow.

Sam glared at him “He doesn‘t lie. Ever. Honest about …. About everything.”

Gabriel looked curious “Like no mouth filter at all sorta thing?”

“Yeah. Just a heads up. So, he’s not being mean. And he’s not hitting on you.” Sam smiled, a memory replaying in his head.

“Hit on me? “ the blonde’s eyebrows shot up “Has that happened before?” Gabe asked, not so subtly shifting deeper into Sam’s side

Sam smirked. “Yes. It’s one of the reasons Adam and Dean don’t get along so well. It was hilarious. Well, at least from my point of view.”

“Oh, so Adam’s got the possessive streak as well?” Gabriel asked, though it sounded more of a statement.

Sam’s features screwed up “No, not really. Just about things involving Dean.”

“Ah. Doesn’t like sharing with his older brother then.”

Sam shrugged “Suppose so.”

It was quiet for a small while; Gabriel nestled into Sam like he was always there. Like he belonged there. Sam wasn’t going to be the one to state otherwise, his arm around Gabe’s shoulder, fingers playing with a spare thread from Gabriel’s shirt. Every minute or so Gabriel would hum his approval and dig impossibly closer into Sam.


	31. Marx Never Dies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, the quotes are actual a favor for a friend ....

The lights of Topeka made Gabriel wake up fully from the blissful doze he had been in. Sitting up but still glued to Sam, he stared at the flashing stoplights and distant skyscrapers that were quickly coming closer and closer. The stark whiteness of the Kansas Capitol easily standing out. “Is it in the middle of the city?” he asked, curious and maybe itching to explore the city. But not now. Not tonight.

Sam looked down at him then followed his gaze to the skyline “Sorta. Why?”

Gabriel shook his head and smiled softly, pressed his cheek down into Sam’s shoulder, sighing for what had to be the 40th time but everything just seemed so _right_. It’s funny because Gabriel hasn’t felt the sensation in his chest since ….he can’t remember but he doesn’t want it to leave. He hopes it stays. Grows. Sam looked down at him when he pressed his lips to Sam’s shoulder, kissing the shirt. He smiles, confused but clearly happy.

“Get my phone for me, leech.” Sam teased, when he couldn’t reach around to get it out of the cup holder. Gabriel snorted and handed the device to Sam. He watched as Sam skimmed through contacts and finally hitting the call button when Samandriel’s name came up.

“Hey, are you still working?” he asked.

Gabriel grinned mischievously and dug his fingers into Sam’s ribs making Sam squeak again and hit Gabe. 

“Oh, how much longer?” Sam glared when Gabriel’s fingers teased closer to ribs.

“Okay. We’ll be there in a few. Hm?” Sam squirmed away from Gabriel when the soft fingers stretched into his sensitive skin. Gabe stopped when he realized Sam was moving away and immediately tried latching onto him again. Sam let him, scoffing lightly.

“Yeah, I brought a …uh… Gabriel. No. No. Stop that. Look, I’ll see you in a couple hours….No. It isn’t like that. John is with Dean. Goodbye.” Sam sighed after the call ended, letting his phone fall into his lap, Gabe pressing into him, offering a strange bit of support.

Sam peered at him “No. You don’t get to just pretend that you didn’t do anything.” 

Gabriel’s golden eyes went wide and danced with amusement “I’m certain I don’t know what you’re referring to.” he said, feigning innocence.

“Do you think I could buy back my introduction to you?” Sam teased and Gabriel’s eyes got impossibly brighter at the immediate recognition of who said that.

Two can play with Groucho Marx quotes. “Well, I never forget a face but in your case I’d make an exception.”

Sam seems nonplussed and answered promptly, his early easy baritone slipping a bit deeper “I wish you’d keep my hands to yourself.”

And Gabriel couldn’t help the smirk, because doesn’t he just get an ‘A’ for trying that one. He was curious to how much of Marx Sam would know. “If I had you any closer I’d be on the other side of you.”

Sam laughed at that, the perfect line for the moment but he answered with another one all the same “Now there’s a fellow with an open mind, you can feel the breeze from here.”

Gabriel couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped from his throat “Room service? Yes, send up a larger room.”

Sam’s ribs were jumping with the unabashed glee from the ridiculous one liners “Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”

Now, Gabriel was having trouble laughing through the quote “Why, I’d horse-whip you, if I had a horse.”

“Awh, shit, Gabriel I just missed our exit.” Sam tried sounding serious about it but couldn’t with Gabriel practically crying into his ribs again.

Gabe fought through the laughter only to say “I don’t remember that one.” 

Sam made a not so legal U turn and got back to where they needed to get off, the laughter dying down to content smiles and Gabriel trying to meld into Sam. He glanced down and shook his head, dipping down.

Gabriel felt the small pressure of lips pressed unto the top of his head and he purred, Sam laughing at that. “You know, you’re very clingy. Never knew that could be a good thing.”

Gabe elected silence and another peck on Sam’s shoulder as his answer. His mouth said it before he could stop himself “It’s different.”

Sam looked down to see his face and titled his head so Gabe could continue. Gabe shifted and his voice wasn’t as strong as before. “This. I’ve never… Am I doing this right?” he asked.

Hazel eyes flickered with…something. Gabriel wasn’t exactly sure what it was. “I don’t know. I’ve never done this before.” Sam answered; Gabriel realized he wasn’t the only one flying blind here. 

“Is that weird? I mean, I’ve been in a relationship before but they never wanted to….” Gabriel’s voice was wavering, all confidence had taken its leave of the of the old Camaro and the way Gabriel said relationship made the word come off as anything but.

“No, mine didn’t want to either.” Sam said, stiffly, like it was a memory better left forgotten “I envy Cas and Dean.” he added.

Gabriel knew why. He did too. His little brother had just plunged in, not really concerning himself with the problems that could happen. He was in love and that’s all that mattered to the youngest Novak. And as much as Gabriel wanted to do that, just come undone with Sam, his brain was protesting that his heart couldn’t take another blow. Ironic. He was usually the one who took the chance, who was the first to sign up for sky diving but this….this was something he could no longer be careless in. Then he’d met Sam two days ago and his brain had taken a backseat to his heart. Which seemed very ready to just burst. 

“I’m surprised Dean gave in so easily.” Gabriel mumbled into Sam’s shoulder

“He’s been hurt but not …not…” Sam tried saying it but his throat was constricting.

“He hasn’t been used.” Gabriel did it for him and then Sam looped an arm back around Gabriel and pulled him closer, like he would fix that. At the very least he was going to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I never meant for this to still be posting...Figured no one would read it so I'm kinda pleasantly surprised :) THANKS FOR KUDOS AND SHIT and I'll post another chapter or so as soon as I can


	32. Great Scott

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shut up I love those movies

They pulled into a very empty parking lot, the only other vehicle was an old Delorean and Sam beat Gabe to the obviously joke. “I thought it was the JC Penny’s parking lot.” he said, getting out of the car, Gabriel following, rolling his eyes.

Sam bypassed the stairs leading up to the main entrance of the museum, heading toward the side of the large building, Gabriel trying to shake off the sudden loss of closeness. He was being silly. He’d gone without the simple affection for years; it couldn’t possibly affect him now. The slight breeze he was feeling more acutely than normal was begging to differ. He shook his head and ran to catch up with Sam.

The taller man glanced at him “You alright?”

Gabriel smiled “Never better, Moose.”

Sam groaned and scrunched up his face “Crowley calls me that.”

“Then I apologize immensely.” Gabe teased, Sam shrugged but a skinny kid who looked to be just in his twenties exited the side door they were standing by, he was carrying an open leather bag and riffling through it, he pulled out a hat then continued shirking it over his shoulder. 

“Apologize for what?” he asked, loosening a tie and taking off a suit jacket to roll up the sleeves of the dress shirt he had on.

“He called me ’Moose.’” Sam answered, and then turned to Gabe “This is Gabriel. And this is Samandriel.”

The kid grinned at him and a hand shot out, Gabriel shook it and the kid peered at him then looked toward Sam “Are you sleeping together?”

Gabriel smiled but Sam could tell it was more of mind-your-own-business smirk than a nicety. Sam stepped in “I can’t think of any reason why you should know the answer to that question, Manny.”

The kid shrugged and pulled on a baseball cap “Just curious. You should. If you’re not, I mean. It would be good for both of you. Especially you, Sam. Did you know I had to attend a gala this evening and jesus, the sexual tension in the room alone I could have choked. The board members who are sleeping with each other lack any sense of discretion. Even with their spouses in the room.” Samandriel visibly shuddered “Dean called but I think his new boyfriend distracted him from talking, I couldn’t really make out what he was trying to say. Then Adam called and asked if you had gotten here but I was still working so I didn’t know if you were out here or not. Adam says I’m too comfortably talking about sex but it’s kinda hard to avoid and the only reason it bothers him is because Sam interrupted us, telling him his father was coming to town. I think he‘s still upset about that. I had approximately four Red Bulls, five being the limit. You guys hungry?”

“It wasn’t exactly something I planned, you know.” Sam grumbled, shifting from foot to foot.

“Neither is your attraction to Gabriel.” the kid shrugged “Doesn’t mean you can’t act on it.”

“Okay! Stop. Let’s go to Shroud’s then home.” Sam said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Manny, as Sam called him, shook his head. “I still have stuff to do I was just going to walk to Shroud’s. I thought you guys weren’t here yet. I actually have to work all night, we have a new exhibit that’s only half way up and Ava is on my ass about it but it’s nowhere near done. And the supposed opening of the exhibit is tomorrow at 9 and I have to be there for that, sometimes I wish I had your insomnia, Sam. Adam keeps calling, he get’s all over protective when John’s around, the adoption papers went through this morning so we have to pick up Aaron in two days and I haven’t told him yet.”

Gabriel was fairly amused by the kid, if you ignored the fact that Manny basically tried shoving Gabe and Sam into bed but he was Sam’s brother-in-law and that’s what family seems to like doing.

Sam smiled “We can still walk. You need food. And no, Manny, you don‘t. It’s not helpful and it doesn’t work according to your wishes. Exact opposite.” Gabriel frowned at Sam’s tone of voice and moved closer to him, ignoring the smirk from Manny. The kid’s face dipped a little serious and looked to Sam. 

“He’ll be gone soon, Sam.” Manny offered softly, Sam gave a tight smile as they walked. 

When they reached Shroud’s there was barely anybody there and Gabriel and Manny went to sit in a both after they told Sam what they wanted from the menu, after much argument Sam paid before any of them could. That’s where the Winchester was now, waiting at the counter for their food while Manny scrutinized Gabriel from across the booth.

“What do you want with Sam?” Samandriel asked, uncomfortably serious.

Gabriel licked his lips and looked toward Sam then back at the kid “I’m sorry, isn’t this Dean’s speech?”

Manny shrugged “And Adam’s, if you want to look at it that way. But this isn’t me threatening you. This me asking what you want with him. I’ve never, in the five years I’ve known him, seen him with someone. Besides Azazel and then it was only one sided and very well hidden. He doesn’t just date someone. Ever. Especially not with the indisputable force known as John Winchester in town. What’s different about you?” the kid asked, loosening the blue tie around his neck a bit more.

Gabriel didn’t know the answer to that. How could he? Sam was….different. He scrubbed his hands down his face “The hell if I know. But I like him. A lot.”

Manny grinned and shook his head “You barely know him. But ….He’s happy.” the skinny man said, glancing a look at the bored Winchester “Which is big deal.”

Gabriel frowned “Why?”

Manny looked back to him, brows furrowed “You mean…?” then he scoffed and shook his head again “If he wants you to know, you’ll know. Oh, and Dean and Adam are very loud about things they don‘t like. If they yell at you a lot they probably aren‘t too glad with your new position with Sam. But if they give you shit just ignore them. Or retaliate. Seems more your style, that.” 

The ominous air was broken when Sam set a tray of food down on the table and sat down next to Gabe, knocking their knees together and grinning impishly. Gabriel smirked right back, determined to keep his hands to himself. Which was confusing and frustrating but something said no and wait. He grabbed the neck of one of three bottles of beer, twisting the cap off and bringing it to his lips. Manny grinned “So, you can go back to the apartment if you guys want.”

Sam blushed and pulled a face at Manny before mumbling a “Thanks.” around a veggie burger while Gabriel forced himself to swallow instead of spitting out the beverage. This kid was stubborn about this, wasn’t he? 

Gabriel grabbed a fork and stuck it into the chili cheese fries in front of him, his nerves suddenly jumping up and down. He didn’t eat much even though the food was exceptionally good. 

As they were walking back to museum, he knocked into Sam by accident but the taller man grinned, switching the beer to his other hand and put an arm around his shoulder, the earlier void filling to the brim and the constriction in his chest pushing upward and outward. He couldn’t help the sigh escaping his lips. Manny said absolutely nothing, just seemed content. 

“I’ll see you in the morning, you remember how to get to the apartment, Sam?” he asked and Sam nodded, waving. Manny grinned and slipped back into the large building.

Sam leaned down and kissed Gabriel softly. “I’m sorry you have to spend the night.” he offered apologetically. Gabriel shook his head and mumbled “It’s fine.” pushing down against the sensation in his ribs.


	33. Slight of Terror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay uhm TRIGGER WARNING: It's just torture but uhm i guess it's explicit and I mean I didn't even want to do a nightmare scence but I ...I don't have a good excuse here and the nightmare sequence should be in italic so i suppose you can skip it if you want...

The apartment was more of a large penthouse, the whole east wall being window. A Siamese cat came up to Sam and Gabriel before deeming them pointless and moved back to its spot on the couch, Gabriel followed it and sat down on the plush couch, letting a hand run over the slick body of the cat. “Cassie would just love you.” he sighed when he let his body sink back into the memory foam cushions. 

Sam grinned, putting their duffel bags down in the hallway. Then got another beer from the fridge, ignoring the nagging worry in his head. “You want another?” he asked 

Gabriel scrunched up his face before shaking his head. “Nah, I’m tired.”

Sam nodded and came to stand by the couch, looking unsure before resign flickered in hazel eyes “There’s two spare rooms, you can pick whichever one you want, I don’t think I’ll be sleeping anytime soon.” and suddenly Sam was hoping that was indeed the case,dwelling on the thought of paying his insomnia to keep sleep away. He should be so lucky, sleep already tugging at his eyes despite what he told Gabe. 

“I can stay up if you like…” Gabriel tried but ended up yawning. 

“Uh huh. Go to bed, Gabe." Sam crossed his arms.

Gabriel felt a twinge of guilt but his body was shutting down, he nodded and stood, he pecked Sam on the cheek before slowly moving toward the nearest bedroom. Grabbing his duffel to change into sleep pants and t-shirt. 

Twenty minutes later Sam’s beer was gone and Gabriel was out like a light. Sam stumbled into the second guest room, the cat- Isis- trailing him. He pulled his pants off and shirt, grabbing a tank from his bag and shrugging it on then climbed into the huge bed, Gabriel had taken the room with the smaller bed. There was a T.V. set up and Sam flicked it on, the channel playing _Friends_ , he shook his head, a smile forming on his lips. Isis jumped on the bed and positioned herself on Sam’s chest, he raised an eyebrow at her “That’s not going to work out too well for you.” she just meowed at him and started purring, making his chest resound with vibration. He sighed and prayed she’d move sometime before a nightmare hit, her curled body moving up and down with Sam‘s steady breathing.

Before he even could think about fighting it, sleep claimed him as its own.

>>>>

 _Its dark, Sam thinks, and if it wasn’t so terrifying it’d be cliché. It’s not the kind of darkness your eyes can adjust to. Sam would know, he has spent hours here and not once did a shape present itself against the pitch_. 

_It’s humid. Horribly so. Heat working its way into him and forcing sweat out of his pores in his body’s vain attempt to cool himself. His palms are sticky and when his fingers brush against each other the clamminess makes him shudder_. 

_He’s suspended. Like those huge fish you see hanging from even bigger hooks, it’s digging into the back of his neck. And if he tries to sway, it scrapes against his spinal column making his whole body twitch. The pain from the hook is dulled, as though his body has become accustomed to the intruder in his body. He tries fighting, wiggling._.

_There’s laughter that makes his back arc and his mind short out. It’s not comforting at all. It makes the panic in him rise and spill out his mouth. Or is that his blood?_

_There’s a sudden new demand of surreal and there’s a gaping hole in his chest, he can feel his blood rush around in hysteria, missing it’s most valued pump, it gushes out of the aperture in search of it‘s missing part. There’s more shrieking laughter_.

 _Sam’s not new at this but still his mind begs him to die. He would if he knew how. He tries telling it but its gone crazed in fear and it feels as though it no longer belongs to Sam_. 

_“You are mine.” an unexpected voice rings in his ear and there is suddenly a hand, or what minutely resembles the appendage, shoving itself into the cavity of his chest. It runs claws against the inside of his ribs and Sam convulses, more blood leaking out of his mouth_.

 _Sam doesn’t know what it calls itself. Doesn’t know why it crawls through the spectrum of his dreams. But it’s always there when he closes his eyes_.

 _And then he’s whole. Nothing ripped out, nothing dripping out, and cool air against his skin. The hook had never marred him. He’s at the cabin again, Gabriel blinking at him, scotch drowned eyes twinkling. He’s fighting it, clawing himself to normality. He’s trying_. 

_Then he’s in the darkness again, unwelcome stickiness clinging to him and blood dripping steadily from his mouth and chest, he squirms and the hook makes itself known again by burrowing into his vertebra, he lets out a whine and fights harder. Only succeeding in jabbing the point deeper. His throat howls lowly and he stops_. 

_He feels more hooks inserted, two into his palms. Another two into his feet, all of them pulling until he’s spread eagle. It’s starts on his right forearm, a thin sharpness inserted then it starts peeling away the first layer of skin, blood that should be long gone starts rushing to surface, gasping for oxygen as it falls away into the darkness. Sam never hears it hit the floor and his mind is screaming at him, throwing itself against his skull making everything throb. He jerks but something low and furious makes him short circuit before trying again. His hooks pull outwards, stretching his joints agonizingly, making him seethe at the invisible provoker_.

 _The temperature rising and licking at the newly revealed flesh, it takes Sam a few moments to realize flames are eating him, but his chains have prevented movement without breaking himself. He grits his teeth and pulls, despite the warning. His left shoulder joint pops and now he’s hanging in a weird angle. Like a puppet on a string. He feels bile rising and he’s trying to scratch his way back to the cabin. To the sobriety the awake world would offer. But, Jesus Christ, this didn’t feel like a dream. He tries anyway_.

_He can feel gentle hands on his shoulders and the whisper of soft breath against his face and he’s struggling to free himself from the hooks-_

>>>>

He blinks and finds himself face to face with a worried look and golden hair falling into a familiar pair of glowing eyes. He feels the hands on his shoulders and the slight puff of anxious breath and the hardness of a wooden floor beneath him. The bed next to him means he had fallen out of it. He swallowed once, twice and once again, his throat sore and aching. And the reason why would be….Oh. Oh no. No. No. No. No. “No. No. No.” and he slipped into speech without knowing, repeating the one syllable word over and over, hazel eyes squeezing shut. His gut clenching and he pulled himself away from the man.

He scooted back and back and then he hit the wall, curling his long legs up and pushing himself to standing position, breathing heavily as he leaned against the wall. And though his voice wasn't audible, the word was still being mouthed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like a bad perosn 'cause I drenched this in fluff then I did this ....gunna be a bit of a rough ride for a few chapters.....


	34. I Feel Like I Should Apologize For Your Sins

Pink lips pressed tightly together, thinning out into a straight line and eyelids shuttering open but they aren’t Sam’s. They’re blank and void and lifeless. Gabriel swallows, his mind in hyper drive. The dead eyes seem to rip into him before Sam is moving, walking swiftly out of the room; Gabriel can do nothing but follow. “Sam?” he asks. There isn’t an answer and the taller of the two opens the fridge and presses his forehead against a cool surface, still breathing heavily.

“Sam? Sam, what was that?” Gabriel treads softly until he’s standing a few feet away from the shaking man.

“Nothing.” and his voice is hoarse and torn, like something had taken his larynx. 

Gabriel glowered and shut the fridge, grabbing the sides of Sam’s arms and turning till Sam is facing him completely. “Don’t play dumb with me, Winchester. What the hell was that?” he demands

There a small ember of surprise in Sam’s eyes from not being coddled, there’s also gratefulness. “It’s nothing. It‘s fine.” he tried brushing off Gabriel but the hands were gripping tighter now and golden eyes were set firm.

“No, it’s not fine. You were screaming!”

Sam wouldn’t meet his gaze and tried slipping Gabe’s hold on him again “It’s just a bad dream.”

Gabriel’s jaw dropped. 

“No, Sam, a bad dream is not getting your favorite kind of ice cream. A bad dream is when you relive an embarrassing moment. A bad dream doesn’t make you scream like you’re being eaten alive, Goddammit! That wasn’t a dream, that was a fucking night terror and you’re not even that fazed! Sam, tell me what just happened!” he didn’t mean to shout but he’s worried and he’s even a bit scared and he just wants to know Sam’s okay. He’s afraid that he won’t get that piece of knowledge.

“Brazil! Okay, five months. I ran away. Like some teenage girl who got dumped. I get to come back to find my best friend in the hospital ’cause her bipolar disorder finally sets on. I get to come back to my brother trying to drink himself into fucking oblivion because he‘s too damn stubborn to pick up a phone and call me. I get to come back to a father that would rather disown me. Then guess what I do? I fucking leave again and run off to Azazel who never once tells me that’s what I’m doing. Hiding from my family. SO, YEAH, I HAVE NIGHTMARES! I FUCKING DESERVE THEM!” Sam shouted back but he looked so tired, exhausted. As if he’d fall over if Gabriel let go. Gabriel didn’t think he _could_ let go. He doesn’t know what he can do but he knows he wants Sam to feel better, wants him to know he‘s not alone in the failure arena. 

He’s not. Not by a long shot with Gabriel in the room.

Gabriel licked his lips and his grip loosened a bit “No, you don’t. Are you going to be okay?”

Sam sighed and pursed his lips “Yeah. I’m sorry I woke you, I uh well… I understand if you-” Gabriel glared again and Sam stopped talking.

“I’m not that much of an asshole, kiddo.” Gabriel retorted at the attempt, jaw stiffened.

Sam squeezed his eyes shut “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry; you meant I come off as the guy to just leave in the aftermath of your horror in a nice way.” Gabriel ground out and god, couldn’t he just shut himself up already?

“I didn’t…. I just… I don’t want you to have to deal with me- this. I meant this.” Sam said, tripping over words to correct the self insult.

Gabriel couldn’t help that his hands constricted “No, you meant exactly what you said. You think this is your fault? How is this in anyway your fault? There isn‘t anything I have to _deal_ with Sam! There‘s nothing wrong with you!” his voice was pitching a little more higher, a bit more drowned with worry.

“Really? Gabriel, I just woke you up with my screams and there’s nothing wrong?!” Sam was angry now too but angry at himself and that wasn’t what Gabriel wanted.

“Jesus, Sam! I’m supposed to leave because you feel guilt like a normal human being?! You know what, Sam? No, look! There isn’t something wrong with you!” he’s pushing his point across, he knows but Sam has got to understand.

“I deserve them! Those dreams!” Sam’s eyes were weaker now but the anger and self hatred was still so apparent it was burning into Gabe’s hands.

“DAMN IT, NO, YOU DON’T! LOOK AT ME! HEY, YOU LOOK AT ME! Just because you dent the car doesn‘t mean you scrap the whole vehicle.” and maybe he should be taking his own advice. “Sam, imagine if you will,“ he began and suddenly he became aware of how deep they were sinking into this right now but pushed on anyway “A dad. Oh no, I forgot. First and foremost, a very rich alcoholic slut that married so many times he lost count. _Now_ , imagine this man had four older sons. Who got along fairly well and watched out for their younger siblings. Imagine this man up and leaving one day with no excuse, no reason at all. Not appointing one of the four sons in charge, just gone. Zip. Never coming back. Imagine three of those four sons with a competitive streak set to murder and suddenly they couldn’t care less about their younger brothers and sisters.”

Sam didn’t say anything, his breathing still not quite even, not quite calm enough. Gabriel smiled cruelly, tightly and watched as Sam flinched.

“But, well, the one son figures ‘Hey, they’ll shape up. Hey, Dad’s gone, guess I don’t really need to finish med school, now. Hey, they’ll keep watch over their _family_.” Gabriel spat the word family. “And then he leaves. He leaves for years. He doesn’t check up, he doesn’t bother to see if the other three brothers bothered stepping up because why wouldn’t they? They were the responsible ones.” and he shouldn’t sound bitter and he knows his voice is breaking “Then imagine, him getting word of his sister in an accident. She’ll never understand the news on the T.V. She’ll degrade as the world progresses. Imagine him realizing what he did. Or rather didn’t do. Imagine him hearing the two youngest brothers are in jail. One of them because he’s a fucking heroin addict that can barely survive two days without a fix. Who was blackmailing a Duke and also an Arch bishop. The other was looking for the long lost Father who never really meant to leave. Who might have been involved in murder. And the three older ones, what did they say when he came back to ask why they didn‘t help? ’Well, they should’ve taken care of themselves.’ Yeah, so much for the responsible ones. Guess we both have a little problem with running away.” Gabriel smirked harshly and rubbed the sweat away from his mouth.

Sam’s quiet, watching Gabriel, butterscotch eyes are wet, the saline pooling but not enough to streak down the red cheeks and Sam feels this overwhelming sense to just make that go away. Then he wonders if that’s what Gabriel had felt when he was in his nightmare. He must have voiced his thoughts because Gabe scoffed “Yeah, Sam, only times a thousand. Not a great thing.”

Sam looks down at the cold tiled floor and mumbles “I’m sorry.”

Gabriel shook his head “Only you would apologize for waking someone with your screams.”

And they both know that’s not what Sam meant but how can you apologize for something you can do nothing about? How can you get forgiveness from someone you haven’t wronged?

The silence was deafening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fix it. i will.


	35. We're Not Broken, Just A Bit Crooked

Despite the pity party they were throwing for each other Sam had this small knot in his stomach that only tightened and grew with every glimpse of scotch eyes that wouldn't connect with his own pair. Every atom was screaming for him to go and wrap his arms around the quivering man.

He would like that. He really would. Just squeeze the problems and guilt away. But it wasn’t that simple. _This_ wasn’t simple. They both had burrowed into the hole and were now unsure of helping each other out because that would mean permanency. And the record clearly showed neither were too good in that area. Quite horrible, actually.

It wasn’t that they weren’t willing to try, by all means. But horrid torrid love affairs aren’t fun or exciting or sweet and they leave you in a shattered mess, snarling at anyone who offers to pick up your pieces. The problem was that is exactly what Sam and Gabriel’s small taste of love had meant. It meant pain. Loneliness. 

Going to Gabriel or embracing Sam meant that they would be trying again, putting themselves on the line again. 

Yes, they had established that they were different to each other. Different than Kali. Different than Brady. Except that three days wasn’t long enough. The situation called for experience and that, of course, was the thing they lacked. But Sam wasn’t ready for Gabriel to leave. When it came right down to it, Sam had a bit of a self sacrificing streak but even if he could this wasn’t something only he could decide.

They both had to. 

They had to give in. And if they only knew it was to each other maybe that would ease them, give them a slight push. But they didn’t. They didn’t know and they were scared.

Gabriel wouldn’t meet his gaze then moved toward the hallway that leads to the door, the exit. Sam started panicking. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen. His nightmares caused this. His fault again.

No. Enough.

This was something he had to fix and fast. But he wasn’t sure how. He didn’t want to. No, that wasn’t true; his whole being was vibrating with want. His tongue ran over his teeth and he started rubbing his palm. 

Sam’s face scrunched up and Gabriel was moving farther away. 

Stop. 

Stop him. 

Stop him now.

“Gabriel.”

And god, it was barely a whisper. A tiny wisp of sound that shouldn’t have been audible. But Gabriel’s body stopped, going rigid as he turned to look at Sam.

The pain there. In butterscotch eyes that Sam never noticed before. Maybe he hadn’t been looking or maybe Gabriel had hid it that well but whatever the case it was evident now, gleaming out at Sam and his brain demanded to know why he wasn’t crushing Gabriel to death. Why on Earth was he stopping?

Scared. Broken. Not good enough. 

There were numerous reasons he was enforcing but his brain wasn’t receiving just demanding, pushing, prodding and pulling.

Stop him. Show him.

Except the tremors rippling through him, he was so unsure. So unready.

Yet that was exactly the point. That they were scared. That they didn’t have any experience. That they had to hand over the bandaged pieces and pray that the binding wouldn’t be broken. That they were barred to each other. To give up everything. It was to see the worst flaws and cherish them. It was to see the beautiful features and ignore them. Because that’s what love is. It’s showing vulnerability.

Love?

No, not only after three days. He couldn’t love someone in three days. No, that definitely wasn’t it. But he wasn’t going to let Gabriel leave.

Sam took a small step forward and watched the wild fire known as hope spreading in eyes that had captivated him. Another step, a bit larger than the first but still shy and unsure.

Then Gabriel smiled. It was different, crooked but _real_. Different then any smile he’d given Sam before. Perhaps anyone. Crooked from the urge to fight it, to hide it. Real in the way the corners of his mouth crinkled as if they hadn’t been in a long time. It was like he’d been granted forgiveness. But so much more.

He licked his trembling lips and watched as Gabriel took a step of his own. Oh, god, he was going to throw up. He was going to scream. He felt like he was in an elevator. His stomach was so confused and that knot was expanding. Increasing every time their gazes locked. 

Then nothing seems so horrible anymore. The world seems to have taken its leave and he’s right in front of Gabriel, gold burning into hazel and his hands are in Gabriel’s hair while Gabriel’s are on his neck and he’s so sick of wanting to know want this infuriating man tastes like.

Mint. 

He tastes like mint and cherry and sleep. There’s a tongue mapping his mouth like it’ll get lost without the knowledge and there is bursts of color and swirls behind his eyes because he’s squeezing them shut so hard and all he can think is Gabriel.

When Sam pulls away in desperate need of oxygen, molten eyes shoot open and Sam inhales quickly at how much it looks like melted gold and wet butterscotch and a shot glass of gleaming scotch. And Sam’s words are a little hazy but he thinks he can remember the right one. 

“Stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See I did. I fixed it.


	36. All The Small Things

Samandriel was tired. Like sleep-on-your-feet tired but a huge pile of paper work lay on his desk and the exhibit was only half way up. He threw his jacket and bag into his leather chair and heading to the exhibit in the west wing of the large empty museum. It was a touch creepy with about a third of the lights out and only him in the building but his mind was in overdrive, he couldn’t spare the energy to worry about the dark. 

The lights of the display were ready, in fact, the first three displays were ready, telling of Rembrandt’s life and such. The self portrait still had to be mounted and the security detail of lasers and alarms had to be set up as well, when he finished that, he had to start on the last part of the exhibit. Rembrandt’s death.

Technically this wasn’t an art museum and even if it was, the speculation of the art wouldn’t even come from the artist himself and thus wasn’t truly a good theory. Rembrandt was very closed about his work; the art he did write about was close to nothing. So, Samandriel never found such art exhibits entertaining. Because in his opinion only the artist knew for sure why and what the painting depicted. That’s also why Ava wanted him to do this solo.

Which was a bit ridiculous and unfair but when the self portrait had arrived he didn’t find himself refusing her again.

Samandriel’s mind drifted as he moved through the delicate process of setting up the painting. Drifting specifically to three months ago in an adoption center with Adam

>>>>>  
 _Adam was nervous, he could tell. He smiled softly at his husband and linked their hands. “Calm down, Adam. I told you before we came, we didn’t have to do this.” he offered yet another out for his lover but Adam frowned and stiffened._

 _“No, I’m fine. C’mon.” Adam grumbled pushing the door open and they walked in. Sam and Dean were behind them, agreeing to remain in the doorway._

_It had been a long ride here, Samandriel thought bitterly, Dean not understanding why he had to come and Adam basically yelling that he didn’t have to. Sam had remained quiet, bouncing his knee up and down, rapidly. He knew why the brothers were nervous. And for once, John could be blamed honestly for the boys’ issues._

_There were lots of kids running around and screaming at each other, throwing things and fighting. Adam was shifting anxiously as kids came up to say hello and wasn’t really interacting much to Samandriel’s dismay._

_Then a small boy, about four or five, with black messy hair came up to the tense man, clutching an old blanket closely and tugged on his jeans. Adam’s eyes immediately shot to Samandriel, pleading for help. And Samandriel crossed his arms, shaking his head. The kid yanked harder and Adam crouched down slowly until he was somewhat eye level with the boy. “Yes?” Adam asked._

_The boy looked unsure, his gaze going back to Samandriel then to the door where Sam and Dean waited then right back into Adam’s eyes. He blinked his big grey eyes then shoved the worn blanket into Adam’s hands and told him “It helps me when I’m scared but you look way more scared than I do.”_

_Samandriel had laughed at that but was silenced when Adam scowled at him then looked back into the waiting grey “Thanks. I’m Adam. What’s your name?”_

_The boy swallowed and looked down “Aaron.”_

_Adam grinned “Hello, Aaron. Do you want to meet my family?”_

_Aaron nodded vigorously and pointed at Sam and Dean “They are so tall!”_

_Sam had laughed and Dean adopted the deer caught in headlights look, turning to head out to the car before Sam had clamped a tight hand on his shoulder and shoved his older brother into the room, toward Aaron._

_Adam pointed toward Samandriel “He’s my husband.”_

_Samandriel watched as Aaron lost interest in the two brothers and walked slowly to him. “Hi.” he said, bright eyes looking up at him. Samandriel immediately sat down on the floor so Aaron wouldn’t have to look up at him. Adam came over with Dean and Sam in tow._

_“You have very red hair!” he pointed out in case anyone had missed that_. 

_Samandriel nodded “Yes, I do.”_

_“And freckles!” Aaron added._

_He laughed at that and nodded again “Yup.”_

_Grey eyes widen with fascination “Are you a Weasley?”_

_Samandriel chuckled “I'm afraid not.”_

_Aaron nodded solemnly “Yeah, you sound like a Ravenclaw, anyway.”_

_Then he smiled toothily “What’s your name?” Aaron asked, voice mimicking Adam’s a little_

_“It’s not very common. I’m Samandriel.” he answered_

_Aaron ventured a little closer and shook his head, “That’s very long.”_

_“I’ll say.” Dean mumbled but cleared his throat when Adam glared “We call him Alfie for short.”_

_And again Aaron shook his head, climbing into Samandriel’s lap, black hair tickling at his nose as pudgy hands cupped his face and looked at him very thoughtfully. Then Aaron looked excited “‘Mandriel. I know! Manny!” the boy exclaimed like he’d found hidden treasure_. 

_Dean smirked “Yeah. That’s a great nickname. Why don’t we all call him Manny?” and Adam looked like he was about to argue but it melted away to laughter and Sam grinned, crouching down to smile at the boy in “Manny’s” lap._

_“You are great at giving people nicknames.” he said and Aaron’s eyes went wide, blushing furiously and hiding his face in Samandriel’s shirt._

_After awhile of pushing his face into Samandriel’s chest, Aaron grew sleepy and yawned quite a bit. The woman who was watching the children pointed them to Aaron’s room and they went to go put him to sleep. Sam and Dean waved goodbye to Aaron then went to the car. Samandriel carried him into the room and tried putting him down on the bed but Aaron had his hands locked around his neck. Adam pried them apart gently but the boy woke slightly anyway as they covered him with a blanket_. 

_Grey eyes blinked sleepily before a small voice asked “Are you going to be my daddies?” the question made Adam look to Samandriel. He only got a smile in return. Adam sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at the tired boy._

_“Do you want us to be?”_

_Aaron nodded against the pillow “Yeah, I do.” almost a minute later he was sleeping._

>>>>>

__The sun was gleaming in through the huge blurred windows when Samandriel finally finished the exhibit and he headed to his desk to start the paperwork, a soft smile dancing at his lips. He rubbed at the gold band on his ring finger with his thumb._ _

__He would call to tell Adam the adoption came, first._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god Ive written this. I don't believe it. CIndy you owe me.


	37. Can You Stand?

Jovi lay by the door, waiting for Sam, Dean mused. He was barely conscious, but John’s wheezy snores were keeping him awake which didn’t seem plausible because John was asleep in the Dean’s room and Dean was lying on the couch. Cas currently draped on top of him.

Cas had snuck in for a little bit after Sam and Gabriel had left and John had gone to sleep, Dean had tried calling Samandriel to see if they were there yet but Cas kept blowing into the phone. Jovi whined a little before trailing off in the direction of Sam’s room

“I’m …Earlier when you had your panic attack… That was…. My fault.” Dean said, not looking down at the dozing Cas. When no answer came Dean figured he’d fallen asleep. “I’m not too great at …this, am I?” he shifted before continuing to talk to the dead weight “To be honest, I’ve got no clue what I’m doing. That sounds weird. I mean, I knew what to do with Lisa. At least I think I did. But I never told her. I’ve never told anyone outside of my family that.” he meant family in the most liberal way “Except you…I don’t even know, Cas. I met you and everything I knew about how to act and what to do just kinda disappeared. And that makes me so angry and I don’t even know why. When I met you I didn’t understand, it took me four days to figure it out, dumb, right?” 

Blue eyes blinked, of course Cas wasn’t asleep. But he knew Dean and he doubted if Dean would say this if he knew Cas was awake.

“I saw Meg and …..only red after that. But then you looked so….I’m sorry, Cas.” and the arm around Cas’ waist tightened. 

Around ten or so, sunlight was inching into every corner of the dim room and Cas stirred a bit before pretending to blink sleepily at Dean. “Morning.” he offered.

Dean smiled “Good morning. Want breakfast?”

Cas didn’t try stopping the smile but shook his head “I don’t think John would be too happy to find me in your kitchen.”

Dean grinned mischievously “Oh, c’mon. Haven’t you ever played the odds, Cas?”

“I told you I loved on the first night you kissed me.” he said, blandly raising an eyebrow.

His lover adopted that look as if he was frustrated with himself and Cas. “That’s different.”

“I don’t see how.” he answered, twisting his fingers in Dean’s shirt.

“I said it back.” Dean said petulantly.

Cas leveled him with a stare “I had no way of knowing you would reciprocate this.”

Dean opened his mouth to argue then shut it and opted for a different thread of conversation “What does Gabriel want with Sam?”

He blinked in response to that “I assume you know.”

“Sam doesn’t …he doesn’t-”

“I am well aware of your brothers’ habits concerning partners. Gabriel is quite similar.” Cas cut him off “But neither of us are significantly qualified to tell them who and who not they can sleep with. We are brothers not parents.” 

“He so owes me after this. He gets to go spend a night in Topeka and I’m stuck here. Man, they probably went to Shroud’s too.” Dean pouted “Better bring me pie.”

Cas’ phone vibrated on the coffee table and both men stared as it hummed its way across the glass surface until Cas grudgingly picked it up and answered it.

“Hello?”

Dean watched as blue eyes flicker momentarily before going cold and frightening. “Virgil.” he meant it as a greeting but Dean heard the threads of sudden anger.

“I don’t know why Gabriel isn’t answering and Balthazar is working.” Cas continued, his body stiffening from the pliable ease it has been in. “They won’t go with you. Neither will I.”

“I don’t care. Raphael is not my father.”

“Michael isn’t either.”

“Threats will get you nowhere. And last I checked Raphael isn’t too good at standing up to his older brothers.”

Then Cas laughed but it was disturbing and made Dean’s forehead bow before Cas answered with “Gabriel is anything but weak. Good luck, Virgil, you’re going to need it.” he hit end while someone was still talking and let the phone fall to floor before pressing his face into Dean’s neck.

“What was that about?” Dean asked, cautiously. 

Castiel huffed out a sigh against his neck before answering. “They want us to go home for a week. And they’re coming in a few days to ensure we get on a plane.”

“Why?” Dean prompted

“I do not know and that bothers me as well as Balthazar and Gabriel. It would be playing the odds.” Cas replied sardonically.

“Dean?” 

Both of them froze because neither had spoken and that could only mean it was someone else. 

“Dean, what are you doing?” John’s voice eerily calm and Dean swallowed thickly and sat up too fast making Cas fall onto the floor. 

The Novak was disgruntled but he wasn’t about to complain. The room was dripping with awkwardness.

Dean was standing now, his fingers tapping at the side of his sleep pants.

“Did he do this to you?” John asked, the calmness slipping away into disgust. Cas watched as Dean stood just a little straighter and little more stiff. Switching into soldier mode.

Dean frowned “Do…he? What?”

“Sammy’s corrupted you.” John announced

Dean stared incredulously “What?! Dad, no. This has nothing to do with Sam.” 

But apparently everything was clear to John “You’re with a man.” he pointed toward Cas

“What does Sam have to do with that?” Dean questioned

John shook his head. “Everything. He’s changed your views.”

“What?! God, no! Dad, I’m with not Cas because of anything Sam’s done.” Dean protested

“No. No. He’s twisted you into something you’re not. Perverted you. He‘s tainted, Dean, you should never have let him stay here.” 

And Cas saw something change in Dean then. As if he was trying to build a bridge but decided to blow it up instead.

“Stop it, Dad. You’ve been blaming everything on Sam since Mom died. It wasn’t his fault then and it’s definitely not his fault now. There is no fault. If Sam hadn’t moved in with me I probably would have drank myself to death. There’s nothing wrong with Sam and there’s nothing wrong with me.” Dean glowered at his father, his hand sliding into Cas‘ and squeezing tight though you would never be able to tell.

“You slept with a man!” John expressed

“I like it up the ass, so what?! I’m going to hell, now, is that it? Everybody’s going to hell, Dad! Even you. Fuck, we’re already there.” Dean said, splaying out an arm to motion around

“You can’t be with him.” John ground out

“Excuse me?” Dean gave him a look of disbelief 

“You can’t be with him.” John repeated

“No, I heard you the first time, ‘him’ is named Castiel. ‘Him’ is exactly who I _can_ be with and if you don’t like that, I’m sorry. I’ve listened to you for the better part of my life and all it’s gotten me is separated from Sam. I’m done. It’s my life, Dad. Go ruin your own.” Dean said, pointing toward the door.

John’s face went blank and he picked up the bag of luggage by the couch and walked out the door, slamming it behind him. 

Dean collapsed on back onto the couch burying his face in his hands “What did I do?”

Cas perched next to him and rubbed circled into the back of Dean’s neck. “You stood up to your father. Sam would be very proud.” he offered tentatively.

His lover just huffed a laugh “Sam would faint from shock, is more like it.”

Cas looked away “Thank you.”

Dean turned his head to gaze at him “I wasn’t going to let him treat you like that and I never should have let him treat Sam like that.”

He looked intensely at Cas before kissing him fiercely, pushing him down into the couch. Cas quirked at eyebrow when Dean pulled away. “I’ll come with you. To wherever your brothers want you to go. I’ll go with you.”

Cas frowned “That isn’t necessary.”

Dean smiled and kissed him softly “Yeah, Cas, it is.”

“Why?” he asked, curiously.

Dean grinned mischievously “You’ve got something I need.”


	38. Last But Not Least

It would have been very easy to continue the kiss into something else, something they both wanted very much. And it wasn’t for lack of trying, they both tried very hard to ravage each other. But someone always pulled away first when their better judgment made an appearance through the haze.

With Gabriel now pushed up against a wall and legs wrapped around Sam’s waist mouth latched onto Sam’s neck, it’s really a wonder they stopped at all. A wonder and a shame. The phone was ringing. Of course, they let it go to voice mail. But it just ringed again.

Sam groaned and Gabriel stopped creating what had to be a fourth hickey. “Live in a family of cockblocks.” he mumbled, tonguing at Sam’s throat.

The hand Sam had fisted into Gabriel’s hair tugged back slightly. “Stop that.” he growled but Gabriel moaned at the tug and Sam whined when he grounded his hips down. Sam all but let Gabriel drop to the floor when he pulled away, panting heavily. Gabriel pouted, looking up at him. Sam obviously didn’t pull away far enough because all Gabe would have to do is kneel. Sam tried to back up but tripped over a chair they had knocked over early and was now sprawled out on the floor with Gabriel crawling up his body. 

When Gabriel was face to face with him, straddling the large body of Sam Winchester, he smirked triumphantly “Serves you right.” 

Sam shook his head and reached a hand around Gabriel’s neck, pulling him down to meet Sam’s mouth. His tongue sliding into Gabriel’s mouth, meeting no resistance. He felt fingers skim his ribs, a smirk on the lips he was kissing and he opened his eyes immediately. The fingers dug into his skin and he squirmed, undignified giggles escaping his mouth. “St-hehehaha-op. Ghahahbrieeel.” he tired but Gabe just shook his head. 

“You dropped me.” he said, mock offended and grinning wide. “How dare you drop the heir to the Novak fortune.” and then the grin faded and unwelcome realization glimmered in his eyes. He pulled his hands away and ran them through his hair. The phone was still ringing. Sam ran soothing hands up and down the side of the legs straddling him. 

“Gabe?” he said gently. 

But Gabriel seemed lost in thought “That’s what they want. It’s something to do with the will.”

‘They’ being Gabriel’s brothers, Sam figured. “But wouldn’t the first heir be Michael, your older brother?” he asked.

Gabriel shook his head “He _should_ be but Lucifer and Michael were always in argument about it. So, Dad decided the son who couldn’t care less got the money. Not to mention the deed to just about every building he owned.”

“Well, that’s actually pretty smart.” Sam said, quietly and Gabriel scowled.

“Isn’t it just. Oh, for god‘s sake answer the phone.” he mumbled and it was within Sam’s reach. Sam reached out and grabbed the house phone, answering the call. It was Samandriel.

“Finally, I’ve been calling for the past hour. Listen, Dean had an argument with your father and John left. Went home. Now how about you do that?” his voice was rushed and there was the clatter of stuff being gathered or rearranged. “Adam is picking me up later tonight so you’re off the hook. Be safe. If you broke anything you’re buying a new one-Yes, I heard you the first time, Ava, now, fuck off- bye, Sam.” and then the line disconnected.

Sam snorted then let the phone drop and pulled Gabriel down for another kiss. “Looks like we’re going home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well....part 1 is done.....thanks for the kudos and comments :)

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda just want the boys to be happy and I'm just disregarding s9 cause feels so yeah. And I can't get anywhere with my other multi chapter so theres that.


End file.
